Due to circumstance, I did not finish my annual pigskin forecast until after the Chiefs-Ravens game was completed, but just before the Packers-Eagles Brazil tilt. Regardless, to my small but loyal legion of readers (and short-form poetry enthusiasts) I didn't want to let you down.
*asterisks note wild cards
AFC NORTH
1. Ravens (12-5) One toe over the/line, sweet Jesus; next time, give/the ball to Henry.
2. Bengals* (10-7) Young and well-scouted/a full season of healthy/Joe really matters.
3. Steelers (7-10) About average/(again), assuming Wilson/has anything left.
4. Browns (5-12) Stefanski, sous chef/cooks with odd ingredients/but these Dawgs eat bones.
AFC EAST
1. Dolphins (11-6) Still feasting on bad/teams; do they have the Wright stuff/to really contend?
2. Bills (10-7) Wide right? Wide left? Give/Allen some targets first, *then*/rebuild special teams.
3. Jets (8-9) Improved on paper/but Rodgers is 40 and/he's not Tom Brady.
4. Patriots (3-14) Maye day, Maye day! These/Yanks are spiraling; pass rush/only saving grace.
AFC SOUTH
1. Texans (11-6) Say it's loud, they're back/and it's Stroud; healthy targets/augment the danger.
2. Jaguars (9-8) Beyond Trevor, these/cats are mid; blond bomber needs/a full top-tier year.
3. Colts (8-9) On paper, Tony/and Taylor should feast; they're dark/horses if healthy.
4. Titans (7-10) New pass-happy O/compliment corner upgrades/but Levis still stinks.
AFC WEST
1. Chiefs (12-5) Super Bowl three-peat/seems imminent, but yes, let's/fixate on Taylor.
2. Chargers* (10-7) History versus/Harbaugh; salary cap curbs/progress or fortunes.
3. Raiders (8-9) Defense… to the Maxx!/Receivers carry slapdash/O; in short, middling.
4. Broncos (6-11) Nix takes his licks; quick/release, book smarts turns fillies/into dark horses.
NFC NORTH
1. Lions (12-5) Outside receiver/sole concern; the claws are out/at long last, Motown!
2. Bears* (10-7) Caleb, golden boy/the elite QB they've dreamed/of, or next Cutler?
3. Packers (8-9) Nice try, Romeo/Love has other options; new/D scheme is X-factor.
4. Vikings (7-10) No JJ? Oh boy/this O is only as good/as Darnold serves up.
NFC EAST
1. Eagles (11-5) Mere thoughts of last year's/collapse still Hurt(s); with Saquon/there's no room to fail.
2. Cowboys (9-8) No changes, all in/win a title or rebuild/like Jerry Jones' face.
3. Giants (7-10) Dimes or Cutlets, this/O is boom or bust; pass rush/carries wobbly D.
4. Commanders (4-13) Patchwork O-line sinks/Beltway betterment; Jayden/will miss LSU.
NFC SOUTH
1. Falcons (10-7) A healthy Cousins/hears London calling; middling/D overt setback.
2. Buccaneers (9-8) Baker and Evans/a fun combo, but can they/establish the run?
3. Saints (7-10) A gumbo of "ifs"/O-line attrition, aging/D, and so-so Carr.
4. Panthers (4-13) Wee Young, next Flutie/sings “Mingo was his name-o”/as rebuild protracts.
NFC WEST
1. Niners (12-5) The next team with a/Super Bowl hangover; one/fears how they'll falter.
2. Cardinals* (11-6) An O starvin' for/Marvin; if all goes right, eat/drink, and be Murray!
3. Rams* (10-7) Avila carries/soft O-line; aging Stoddard/has one good year left.
4. Seahawks (8-9) Good receivers, doomed/in strong West; top-tier ST/keeps birds from crashing.
OROY: Caleb Williams, Bears
DROY: Laiatu Latu, Colts
First head coach fired: Brian Daboll, Giants
Super Bowl LIX: Chiefs over Lions, 30-20
Thoughts?
(737)
