Unless there's been a major breakthrough in the Governator and "Weinergate" scandals that I don't know about, this has been a slow week in the news. Given that, I'd like to do something different this week. Every year, Beloit College in Wisconsin releases what they call "The Mindset List." It's intent is not to make Baby Boomers, Gen-Xers, or children of the '90s (*cough*) feel old, but to demonstrate the world view of a just-graduated high school senior. Maybe it's schadenfreude, but the Mindset List is also endlessly fascinating to read (Google it right now if you have some time to kill). The list for the fresh-faced Class of 2015 --i.e. children born in late 1992 and early 1993-- won't be released for a few more weeks, but out of curiousity I'd like to speculate as to what might make the cut.
With that said, if you are an incoming college freshman...
...there have always been cell phones, e-mail and the internet.
...Canada, Mexico, and the U.S. have always agreed to trade freely.
...you have never had to worry about getting nuked by the Russians.
...there has never been a Czechoslovakia or a Yugoslavia.
...there has never been a Branch Davidian Compound.
...the Pittsburgh Pirates have always sucked.
...a Canadian hockey team has never won the Stanley Cup, and a Canadian baseball team has never won the World Series. (In turn, there have always been MLB and NHL teams in the state of Florida.)
...you never saw Joe Montana play for the San Francisco 49ers or Mike Ditka coach for the Chicago Bears.
...Audrey Hepburn, Frank Zappa, Julio Gallo, and the guy who played Herman Munster have always been dead.
...there has never been a living member of the Three Stooges.
...Tom Hanks has always had the phrase "Academy Award Winner" precede his name in movie trailers.
...nobody in Palatine, IL ever dines at Brown's Chicken.
...however, there has always been a McDonald's, a Subway, and/or a Starbucks within walking distance from your house.
...you have never heard --or heard of-- the song "Cop Killer."
...Jay Leno has always been on NBC and David Letterman has always been on CBS.
..."Mighty Morphin Power Rangers" and its various incarnations have always been on the air.
...People magazine and The New Yorker has always been published in color.
...the United States Post Office has always been losing money.
...you have only known one President Bush.
Scary stuff, eh? Kinda makes you think. Don't worry though; next week I'll try to post something a little less cerebral.