Real Big Fish

Ten things that the new Miami Marlins logo reminds me of:

• the opening credits to a forgotten "Saved by the Bell" spinoff.
• a generic postcard that you send to a relative you can barely tolerate.
• the design on a nightshirt that your grandma would wear... if she wears a nightie.
• Gloria Estefan's tour bus, circa 1992.
• the poor man's Red Lobster.
• Prozac.
• a new exhibit at Seaworld, just before PETA catches wind and protests outside the park.
• a suburban white guy trying in vain to impress a Latino co-worker.
• Jeffrey Loria's hubris (natch).
• a misguided attempt at filling a void in Miami's heart since the Dolphins and Panthers suck and the Heat won't play again until 2012 at the earliest.

Other notes:

+ My roommate is from outside Pittsburgh --Latrobe, PA to be exact-- and he has three true loves in his life: the Steelers, Penguins, and Penn State football. As you might imagine the ol' roomie had a pretty rough go at it last week, and near as I can tell ESPN and ESPNews are still still banned in our household. All I can say on the matter is hate the school establishment, not the school itself; Jerry Sandusky, Joe Paterno, and the school board of trustees all have blood on their hands, but don't blame the players or the students. The riots were an act of denial, not stupidity; those PSU underclassmen were defending a man that betrayed them, and the chaos in State College was purely impulsive. Still, it'll take years for the school and the Nittany Lions football program to recover.

+ Was I the only person that thought Rick Perry would somehow survive his much-YouTubed blunder last week? T-Paw notwithstanding, these candidates are so fueled by their desire to topple President Obama that they can't read any indicator that their campaign is practically over. That now-infamous debate flub, paired with Herman Cain's harassment allegations inadvertantly gave Newt Gingrich a slice of the spotlight, though I still find the ex-Speaker difficult to take seriously. Also, Mitt Romney's growing lead in the polls doesn't surprise me in the faintest, though this could indicate a moderate-right resurgence in the coming months.

+ My link of the week is courtesy of Christine "Electra" Pawlak, former midday DJ at the late, lamented Q101 in Chicago. This wonderful essay provides insight on the death of rock radio from an insider perspective that I can't even touch, and her "no regrets" attitude is both jarring and refreshing.

Next week: my 7th annual "thanks/no thanks" list.