Thursday, September 10, 2020

32 Teams, 32 Haiku: My 2020 NFL Preview

 


Hey, I guess we're having a football season.

At the onset of the outbreak nearly six months ago, it looked like the NFL was in a better position than pretty much any other team sport. After all, their season wasn't halted. Then the pandemic dragged on into the summer and fall, and probably into 2021. The league bucked trends and opted to have partially filled stadiums, at least until another spike halts the season. (At least tonight's Chiefs-Texans season opener was played without relative incident.)

With or without COVID, the NFL is still ripe for drama and storylines. How will the Patriots manage without TB12 for the first time in nearly two decades? Is the NFC West really that good, and is the AFC East really that uninspiring? What if I break it down, 17 soma at at time?

*note playoff wild cards

NFC NORTH

1. Vikings (11-5). Thielen and Cook/a two-way offensive threat/make it (purple) rain.

2. Packers* (10-6). No team needs fulfilled/"don't fix what isn't broken"/a cheesy mantra.

3. Bears (9-7). The heat is on, Mitch/you need a hot start, or you'll/make friends into Foles.

4. Lions (6-10). A healthy Stafford/is load-bearing; the improved/young D must impress.


NFC EAST

1. Eagles (10-6). Look at Carson throw/(when he's not hurt) but watch new/look secondary.

2. Cowboys (8-8). Their O is fine; the/new boom-or-bust D concerns/me. Sleeper? Just hype? 

3. Giants (6-10). Instability/holds; unproven Jones matures/with awful O-line.

4. Washington (3-13). As anonymous/as their name; rebuild phase one/red-yellow mish-mosh.


NFC SOUTH

1. Saints (11-5). Beat the Vikes and we'll/talk titles; Brees is still a/Hall of Fame QB.

2. Buccaneers* (9-7). Tampa Tommy time!/High scoring balances weak/special teams, soft D.

3. Falcons (6-10). 28 to 3/odds of playoff return; this/D still underwhelms.

4. Panthers (4-12). Young secondary/faces uphill battle. Just/McCaffery on O?


NFC WEST

1. Niners (13-3). Love the coaches. Too/much talent now; will suffer/in free agency.

2. Seahawks* (10-6). Overhauled pass rush/will turn heads; more pressure on/Russ to carry O.

3. Rams (9-7). No Gurley? Time to/man up; Goff and remaining/backs will pick up slack.

4. Cardinals (6-10). Trendy, but I'm not/sold; don't rule out Kyler, though/young D must grow up.


AFC NORTH

1. Ravens (13-3). Lamar is so good/he's done everything but/win a playoff game!

2. Steelers* (12-4). The clock's on Big Ben/no COVID opt-outs, that helps/depth, hard to ignore.

3. Browns (7-9). They'll make the playoffs/...someday; can their Baker stop/making turnovers?

4. Bengals (3-13). Burrow's not hiding/I forgot AJ Green is/still on this team. Wow.


AFC EAST

1. Patriots (10-6). Wham, bam, thank you Cam/most flawed team in ages, but/still best of weak bunch.

2. Dolphins* (9-7). Tua good to be/true; disciplined D needs to/speed up, make big plays.

3. Bills (7-9). Running Fromm problems?/Rough midseason schedule/deters decent squad.

4. Jets (6-10). Darnold can't say he's/green anymore; vexing gap/at outside corner.


AFC SOUTH

1. Titans* (10-6). No glaring flaws here/Tannehill, Lazarus act/Super Bowl dark horse?

2. Texans* (9-7). PR disasters/aside, weak pass D countered/by Watson magic.

3. Colts (7-9). Cupcake early sked/doesn't fool me; old Rivers/won't be wading long.

4. Jaguars (2-14). The new XFL/had better teams; these cats are/domesticated.


AFC WEST

1. Chiefs (14-2). The best get better/if everyone on offense/can stay healthy... YIKES!

2. Chargers (8-8). No QB, but lots/of weapons; D ensures a/few low-scoring wins.

3. Broncos (6-10). Stiff competition/doesn't make wins a Lock; zone/heavy D works cheap.

4. Raiders (5-11). Sin City, at last/Carr needs more drive, so Gruden/drafted some hot rods.


Offensive ROY: CeeDee Lamb, Cowboys

Defensive ROY: Isaiah Simmons, Cardinals

First Head Coach Fired: Dan Quinn, Falcons

NFL MVP: Patrick Mahomes, Chiefs

Super Bowl LV: Chiefs 30, Niners 27

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