That Wonderful Year in Music... 2021

  

Remember what I said last December about how arts and culture frequently mirrors its time and surroundings? 2021 was a slog, only marginally better than 2020, but not without its slow-burn trauma and various frustrations. Bands finally started performing live again, and festivals returned in a smaller, wonkier fashion. The true output of 2020’s duress blossomed in ‘21, not only in music but most forms of media. This was the strongest year for pop music in a good while, but indie rock and rap also had some highlights. For all my personal stuff this year, however, Spotify remained a refuge, and I’m glad I paid to listen to all of this without commercial interruption.

BEST POP/ROCK ALBUMS:

1. Jubilee, Japanese Breakfast. Don’t let radio overplay of “Be Sweet” perturb you. This throwback to early 2000s chamber-pop is a delightful mix of melodically immediate songs and gorgeous songwriting, with surprises at every turn. Between this and her well-received memoir, Michelle Zauner had an incomparable 2021. 

2. For The First Time, Black Country, New Road. 2021’s most fascinating debut album uses punk as a base for this British septet’s uncanny musicianship and myriad experiments. The leadoff track “Instrumental” is celebratory klezmer, which segues into “Athens, France,” a track that evokes late 80s indie rock heroes Slint. A second album is already in post-production and set for a February 2022 release, and I can’t wait.

3. SOUR, Olivia Rodrigo. If my #2 album was the most fascinating debut, then SOUR was the most revelatory. Without delving into the “voice of Gen Z” cliché that critics overused, this is a pop record as self-aware as any in recent memory, devoid of filler and a solid sampler of Rodrigo’s varying musical tastes. “Drivers License” is a gorgeous ballad, and “Good 4 U” is a deliriously brutal emo-punk breakup song.

4. Sometimes I Might Be Introvert, Little Simz

5. Any Shape You Take, Indigo De Souza

6. Collapsed in Sunbeams, Arlo Parks

7. Valentine, Snail Mail

8. Call Me If You Get Lost, Tyler the Creator

9. Ancient Dreams in a Modern Land, Marina

10. 30, Adele. After six years of relative silence –give or take an embarrassing Instagram post or left-field SNL hosting stint– the British singer’s fourth LP is her most intimate and unguarded work. Ms. Adkins is a divorced mom now, and she’s going through some stuff. “Easy on Me” breaks down the split, while “I Drink Wine” pairs well with early Elton John. 

Honorable Mentions: Conversation Peace, Damu The Fudgemunk; Cool Dry Place, Katy Kirby; Bless My Psyche, Sincere Engineer; Soursob [EP], Soursob; Ignorance, The Weather Station.

BEST JAZZ ALBUMS

1. Promises, Pharaoh Sanders & Floating Points. Even when an album is only jazz in the loosest sense –this could arguably be an electronica album, or classical, or as Yusef Lateef would call it, just music– this was an album about healing when we needed it most. The 80-something Sanders juts from one idea to another, with Floating Points (British composer Sam Shepherd) building a lush sonic playground that the sax great can bounce around on.

2. Sounds from the Ancestors, Kenny Garrett

3. Uneasy, Vijay Iyer/Linda May Han Oh/Tyshawn Sorey

4. Metamorphosis, John Moulder

5. Luna '68, The City Champs

Honorable Mention: Triangle (Formwela 1-3) [EP], Esperanza Spaulding.

BEST SONGS (outside of the albums previously mentioned)

"Girls & Boys," Viagra Boys

"Impostor," Miss Grit

"All You Ever Wanted," Rag n' Bone Man

"Fire for You," Cannons

"Pay Your Way In Pain," St. Vincent 

"Hey Michael," Wallice

"Remember That Night?" Sara Kays

"Rainforest," Noname

"Scratchcard Lanyard," Dry Cleaning

"Lilys," Warpaint

"City Wide," Sean Danger Smith

"Midnight Wine," Shannon & The Clams

"Folie a Deux," Mach-Hommy feat. Westside Gunn

"Freaks," Surf Curse

"Jeff Goldblum," Mattiel

"Telepath," Manchester Orchestra

"The Hardest Cut," Spoon

"Paranoia Party," Frances Forever 

"BFIOU," Birds of Maya

"Right on Time," Brandi Carlile

BEST VIDEOS

1. "Montero (Call Me By Your Name)," Lil Nas X. The devil made him do it.  

2. "If You Say The Word," Radiohead. You really can't expect any Radiohead clip to be happy-go-lucky. This satire of late-stage capitalism is somewhat ambiguous about who is the hunter, but there's little questioning who's the hunted.

3. "Delusions of Grandeur," Bad Waitress. Not *quite* a "Midsommar" pastiche, but damn, this Toronto quartet can hit the power chords.

4. "Arrows," Red Fang. Ooh, a sword! 

5. "Worry With You," Sleater-Kinney. The best video of 2021 clearly inspired by the early days of the 2020 pandemic.

Honorable Mentions: "Be Sweet," Japanese Breakfast (“Friday nights on UPN”) and "Chaise Lounge," Wet Leg (Is this considered cottage-core?)

Your thoughts?

(686)

A High School Acquaintance, Part 2

 After that mysterious AIM flare-up in late 2005, I went cold turkey in communicating with "Daisy." Not long after I was dumped by Babs (click here for that story) in August 2006, almost by coincidence Daisy reached out on Yahoo Messenger. Daisy had now been seeing the divorced dad for almost a year, and living with him about nine months. I asked about what happened in late 2005, but she wouldn't give me a straight answer. We became Facebook friends and swapped recent photos. A day later, Daisy randomly asked if she could borrow 10 dollars for cigarettes. I explained that I was neither in the Chicago area nor did I have much cash. She thought that was a strange excuse. After three days of on/off small talk, she got upset again, for something else entirely. For a second time, I had to go through the archived conversation and figure what I said, and I could not figure out what I typed that triggered her. Again, I thought it was best to just leave her alone. 

We barely communicated over the decade or so. She got married to the divorced dad in May 2010,  and between that 2006 convo and 2011 Daisy and I had two, short nondescript Yahoo Messenger convos. In the interim, she deleted and rejoined Facebook at least twice, though only once did I send a friend request. For about four years after that, more radio silence. 

In September 2015, Daisy came up yet again as an FB friend suggestion. I hesistated for a couple weeks, but I sent a request. She approved it a day or two later, than followed me on Instagram as well. She had just finalized an ugly divorce with her husband, and asked if I was free to meet for coffee. I agreed, and after all this time we met up at a local Starbucks. I mentioned a social group I was part of, and she was interested in more information. She also made it clear she was seeing someone; this was just friends meeting. We agreed to meet up a few days later, but when I arrived at our meeting place, she didn't show.

I didn't hear anything for two days, then she texted to say she overslept. Then I tried to Skype her, but then she apparently blocked me there and on Facebook. About a month later, she texted to apologize, then asked if I was free for coffee again. I obliged, we hung out for a couple of hours, she unblocked me on social media, then agreed to meet again on Black Friday. The day after Thanksgiving that year was a cold, dreary day; I basically sat uncomfortably in my car in 35-degree sleet waiting for her to arrive. Over the next 45 minutes I left one Facebook message, one text, and one voice mail. I drove home to find I was blocked on FB again. 

I figured that was the end, but in Summer 2018 she texted out of the blue. Daisy finally apologized; she was in a tough place because of the divorce and was also battling severe anxiety. She was out in Plainfield, with a new job and a new live-in boyfriend. We texted on and off for the second half of that year, but never made any attempt at meeting up. Two messages I sent in late 2018 went without a response, then I just let her be until earlier this year. 

This all started with my sister, and Daisy sent an FB request to her. I wasn't sure if I had her current contact info, so I messaged Daisy on LinkedIn. We had a polite conversation that night and the next, then agreed to meet at the same Starbucks on the third day. It was like deja vu; I arrived right on time, and she flaked out. Again, I left a text and voice mail. That Saturday, I asked how she was doing, and this is how she replied:

If you've read all of this, you're probably wondering why I communicated with this woman like a moth to a light? In hindsight, I'm not sure; the 2004 me was probably thinking about sex, whereas the 2015 and 2021 me simply wanted to reconnect. I was also probably too patient with someone who (I'm speculating) has a history of mental illness. Anything beyond that and I'm probably letting my imagination run wild. This whole 17-year experience left me feeling gullible and a little used. I could have easily done some things differently. As much as I love the idea of reconnecting with people I haven't seen or heard from in years, Daisy demonstrated that sometimes the mystery isn't worth it. 

(685)

Thanks/No Thanks, 2021 Edition

 2021 so far hasn't been much better than 2020. The struggles and challenges are the same, but they've evolved and in some ways mutated. It's becoming apparent that COVID-19 is something we might have to just live with, like the flu. Variants keep emerging, and it's likely contributed to the ongoing labor shortage. In times like these, we have to remember our blessings. 

For my 17th annual "thanks/no thanks" list, I say thank you to my Amazon Echo Dot for introducing me to radio stations all across the world. On the other hand, I say no thanks to... well, everything else Amazon. I am thankful for being able to see friends in person again. I am not as thankful to people who won't get the damn vaccine or still think this is all blown out of proportion. I am grateful for consistant work. I am not as grateful to businesses that keep underpaying or marginalizing their employees, then cry poor when they do raise salaries.

Happy belated Thanksgiving, everyone. 

(684)

Random Notes, October 2021

 If I post "random notes" about once a month, your eyes are not deceiving:

+ I won't lie, President Biden had a rough August and September. Like, fifth-year-in-a-two-term-presidency rough. Compared to Dubya (2005; Katrina and Iraq) and Obama (2013; the botched ACA rollout) these have been miscues but not yet administration-defining fiascos. As far as Afghanistan is concerned, we had been going in circles for awhile; if we learned anything from three administrations ago, a financial surge wasn't going to win this once and for all. COVID has proven tough to defeat as well, and the economy has been sluggish. However, in those regards there's still plenty of time to turn things around. 

+ The house in Downers is almost sold. After spending a fair chunk of my spring and summer cleaning and reorganizing --right up to this week, really-- the burden is almost off our shoulders. My sister is working with a realtor that she knows from high school, and we're on the hook for some minor repairs (wiring and foundation). 

+ After barely working this summer --the house was a massive undertaking-- I've taken on a long-term substitute teaching gig. It's double my normal rate, which will definitely help alleviate some credit card debt. 

Next time (whenever that is) the conclusion of the Daisy saga.

(683)

A High School Acquaintance, Part 1

 A couple months ago, I lamented being disconnected from old friends.  Even with the pandemic and the Delta variant making my willingness waver, I've been easing back into my often elusive yet perpetual goal to reconnect. I've largely played this aspect safe; I've been to two get-togethers with fellow improvisers, but most of the attendees were people I last saw just before quarantine. Still, I had one experience this summer that validated my hesitation.

I was first acquainted with "Daisy" in high school. We were on the homecoming committee together, though I don't recall ever interacting with her. Sometime in Spring 2004, less than a year after I graduated high school, Daisy reached out to my sister via AIM. My sister told me Daisy wanted to chat with me on messenger, so we exchanged screen names. During our convo, Daisy said she had a crush on me, but never worked up the nerve to say anything. I was flattered --I didn't date in high school much-- and found some common ground. Soon after, we agreed to meet up for lunch the next week.

I arrived 10 minutes early at the Subway in downtown Downers Grove. I waited nearly a half-hour for Daisy to arrive before deciding to buy lunch without her. I tried to reach out on AIM and ask what happened, but she didn't log in for several weeks. About a month later, she messaged me to explain what happened: she had a falling out with her mom, and was now living in a trailer park with a guy she was dating. I didn't know how to process this, as I was under the impression that we were supposed to be on a date five weeks prior. We had another long conversation, but out of fear of alienating my "crush," at no point did I clarify the intent of that lunch meet-up.

Communication remained sporadic throughout 2004 and 2005. Her father, a college professor in North Carolina, arranged to have her live at a Ronald McDonald House for a spell, for reasons unclear. Daisy got engaged to the trailer park guy, but soon broke it off, citing his perceived anger problem. (If you're wondering, this all happened between her 19th and 20th birthdays.) 

There was another stretch of radio silence until December 2005, when Daisy reached out again on AIM. She said she was back in Illinois, living with a recent divorcee that she meet two months prior. I'm not sure what happened, and my best guess is that I misinterpreted something I said or some awkward turn of phrase. After 20 minutes of small talk, she suddenly flipped on me. I couldn't tell what was going on, but I apologized profusely. It wasn't I was apologizing for either, but I was taken aback by how livid she was. Not long after, she messaged "W/E" (whatever) and logged out. Either way, I was disappointed that I might never hear from Daisy again. I did... but that's a story for another time.

(682)

32 Teams, 32 Haiku: My 2021 NFL Preview

 

It's pro football season yet again, with an extra game added this year on top of the expanded playoff format introduced in 2020. I'm cutting to the chase, because no one reads this introductory paragraph. I break it down, 17 syllables at a time: 

AFC NORTH

1. Ravens (11-6) Title contenders/when the O is rush only/shake it up, Lamar!

2. Browns* (10-7) Clowney, no fool on/the edge; defensive upgrades/compliment strong O.

3. Steelers (9-8) Smashed Roethlis-burger/if the O-line falters; weak/rush attack lingers.

4. Bengals (6-11) These Burrow-ing cats/have a new wide receiver/but still little depth.

AFC EAST

1. Bills (12-5) Surplus of wideouts/will delight, though green pass D/could wreck title hopes.

2. Dolphins* (11-6) Dance the Tua-step/the flowin’ Samoan has/surpassed Fitz-magic.

3. Patriots (8-9) A sleeper (really!)/Mac won’t cheese, he’s ready now/sack-happy D helps.

4. Jets (5-12) Zach Wilson avoids/the second pick curse, but not/same old Gang Green woes.

AFC SOUTH

1. Titans (11-6) Injuries and old/O-line? No worries! Give the/ball to King Henry.

2. Colts (8-9) Ponies saddled by/missing pieces; keep an eye/on Carson, daily.

3. Jaguars (4-13) Trevor, blond bomber/won’t win immediately/with Urban’s cowboys.

4. Texans (2-15) Hot mess in H-Town/a team so toxic, you need/a mask just to watch.

AFC WEST

1. Chiefs (13-4) Retooled O-line, but/at QB they stand Pat; Frank/Clark, do or die time!

2. Chargers* (10-7) Brandon Staley and/"activation period"/SoCal Ted Lasso?

3. Raiders (8-9) New tackles offer/Carr insurance, yet their D/still won't finish games.

4. Broncos (7-10) *Still* no QB; all/these good receivers wasted/Studs? More like geldings.

NFC NORTH

1. Packers (12-5) Green and gold drama/Aaron’s pouting distracts from/injuries on D.

2. Bears (8-9) Dalton “fields” the flak/over who should start; not if/Big Red’s benched, but when.

3. Vikings (7-10) Are their fatal flaw/the D-line, special teams, Kirk/Cousins… or all three?

4. Lions (4-13) Coach Campbell wants to/bite kneecaps, but these Kitties/are just too hamstrung.

NFC EAST

1. Cowboys (10-7) Good O… on paper/health is crucial to avoid/'20 fiasco.

2. WFT (8-9) Anonymous, yet/scary D-line; placeholder/QB might suffice.

3. Giants (7-10) Big, blue question marks/on both sides of the ball; can/Saquon stay healthy?

4. Eagles (5-12) Minshew or Hurts, two/unsavory options on/a slapdash offense.

NFC SOUTH

1. Bucs (12-5) No changes at all/Tommy, old mutineer has/surplus of weapons.

2. Saints* (11-6) Taysom or Winston/a challenging decision/that won’t be Brees-y.

3. Panthers (7-10) Darnold's redemption/starts here; lack of left tackle/could unspool the O.

4. Falcons (6-11) Dirty birds can't fly/when winnable games aren't won/Is Dean Pees a whiz?

NFC WEST

1. Seahawks (11-6) Lil’ Russ is appeased/they’ll score in bunches, maybe/contend if D clicks.

2. Rams* (10-7) Stafford finally/has a staff; Donald and D/are still excellent.

3. Niners* (9-8) Jimmy G cannot/falter; Lance will boil if/put under center.

4. Cardinals (7-10) Better than record/suggests; Kyler needs to be/top tier *all* season.

OTHER PICKS:

NFL MVP: Patrick Mahomes, Chiefs

Offensive ROY: Najee Harris, Steelers

Defensive ROY: Micah Parsons, Cowboys

First Head Coach Fired: Kliff Kingsbury, Cardinals 

Super Bowl LI: Chiefs 31, Packers 13

Thoughts?

(681)

Stu News' Eighth Anniversary

 Hello everyone! My Facebook comedy page turns eight this week, and I am announcing the revival of a contest from last year. Also, a rare opportunity for my blog readers to see and hear yours truly:  

(680)

Dispatches from Arm's Length, Part 17

 I have been so caught up in personal stuff this first half of 2021 that I've barely commented on the still-nascent Biden administration. Make no bones about it: Joe Biden is running the country from the center-left. Compare him all you want to his pal Barack Obama, but a better comparison would be Bill Clinton. Biden hasn't been perfect --he's been slow to tackle immigration, or at least differentiate himself from his predecessor-- but right now I'll take mere competence. Give him time; it's only been six months.

Like the increasingly unhinged and uninformed far-right, progressives tend to be extremely vocal on social media, yet don't represent a majority of votes within their political party. Their notoriously bleeding hearts are in the right place, but the self-rightousness is palpable. This is why rattling off names of progressive presidential candidates --Dennis Kucinich, Howard Dean, Bernie Sanders-- almost reads like a graveyard. (I am randomly reminded of the prison camp situation on the US-Mexico border.) I hate to say it, but a democratic socialist would've handed Trump re-election.

I mention Biden because when I lost blogged, COVID as we knew it seemed to have its back against the wall. Now we have the Delta variant, a spike in deaths among the non-vaccinated, and the gradual return of mask mandates. Like last summer, we tried to move back into the "old normal" too quick, but now we have a flawed honors system that's hospitalizing the unvaccinated left and right. Unlike 2020 when a weak, deluded president deferred constantly to state governments, we have someone like Biden who can take some accountability and listens to the experts. For all his flaws, Biden is still better than the alternative. 

(679)

Random Notes, June 2021

This month marks 16 years of blogging. As always, my attention span is a tad scattered:

+ My sister and I are still clearing out the house in Downers. I have no valid reason for my inconsistent dispatches beyond that, but it has been grueling. 

+ The Flower Shop Bangers' Zoom show is on hiatus. My improv partner has some family health stuff going on (a most relatable situation) and it's become to much of a burden and distraction. We will keep you posted when we're performing again. 

+ One of my exes recently came out as non-binary. This was a person that I dated for 14 months in 2016-17, and I am happy for their self-actualization. I always had this premonition that they weren't cis female, but for a day or two I contemplated whether I was truly "straight" or not. I've dated non-binary people, but I guess I prefer cis women. I don't think there's a label for that. 

+ This month marks 16 years of writing my rambling thoughts, but also the 15th anniversary of my first Fantasy Emmy ballot. I'm so detached from watching any TV outside of late night that your guess is as good as mine. Odds are, HBO and streaming will dominate the proceedings again. 

(678)

Through a Freshman's Eyes, WMD Edition

Welcome to the second COVID graduation season! The class of 2021 spent a whopping one-third of their high school careers either on Zoom or doing hybrid learning, unthinkable technology 18 short years ago. They were born a year or so after the 9/11 attacks, when the US was fighting one ground war and about to start another. Like the class of '20 before them, their entire lives have been witness to all the trials and tribulations of the 21st century.

Since I wrote last year's list, the Beloit College/Marist College mindset list was adjusted for a more realistic approach to how this year's incoming college freshmen will see the world. I will continue undaunted to write mine the traditional way. 

With that said, if you graduated high school this year...

...Saddam Hussein has never been President of Iraq.

...Tayyip Erdogan has always been leader of Turkey.

...it has always been possible for the US to start a war under questionable circumstances.

...Slovakia has always been part of the European Union.

...a NASA manned space shuttle has never exploded.

...Beyonce has always been best known as a solo artist.

...your mental image of Johnny Depp has always been of an eccentric pirate.

...there has always been Wifi in space (and on Earth, I guess).

...MySpace has always been around, even though you barely remember when it was relevant.

...cell phones have always had cameras.

...Toyota has always made hybrid automobiles.

...there has never been any noteworthy national landmarks in New Hampshire.

...the Oakland (now Las Vegas) Raiders have never played in a Super Bowl.

...there have always been 32 teams and eight four-team divisions in the NFL.

...Josh McCown has always played in the NFL.

...Udonis Haslem has always been in the NBA (yes, really).

...Michael Jordan has never been in the NBA.

...Jimmy Kimmel has always hosted a talk show on ABC.

...Bill Maher has always hosted a talk show on HBO.

...Simon Cowell has always been a judge on an American reality competition show.

...Kenan Thompson has always been a cast member on Saturday Night Live.

...Bob Hope, Mister Rogers, Katherine Hepburn, Johnny Unitas, Kim Hunter, Bruce Paltrow, Aileen Wuornos, Teresa Graves, Ray Conniff, Stephen Ambrose, Sir Richard Harris, Tom Dowd, Jam Master Jay, James Coburn, Billie Bird, Roone Arledge, Lucy Grealy, Joe Strummer, Herb Ritts, George Roy Hill, Sydney Omarr, Maurice Pialat, Maurice Gibb, Richard Crenna, Al Hirschfeld, Bill Mauldin, Nell Carter, Lana Clarkson, Dolly the cloned sheep, Sis Daley, Howie Epstein, Horst Buchholz, Michael Jeter, Edwin Starr, Little Eva, Nina Simone, "Miss Elizabeth" Hulette, Noel Redding, Dave DeBusschere, Robert Stack, Sloan Wilson, Mickie Most, Freddie Blassie, David Brinkley, Gregory Peck, Hume Cronyn, Asa Baber, Larry Doby, Roger Neilson, Leon Uris, Lester Maddox, Strom Thurmond, Joan Lowery Nixon, Buddy Hackett, Herbie Mann, Barry White, Buddy Ebsen, Celia Cruz, Uday Hussein, Qusay Hussein, Gregory Hines, Herb Brooks, Idi Amin, and Charles Bronson have always been dead.

(677)

Dispatches from Arm's Length, Part 16

 I apologize that it's been over a month; my sister and I are still in the process of cleaning out our parents' house, and between that and work I've been too distracted to write. 

The masks aren't going away anytime soon. Yes, I know the vaccinated can go without them, but there are too many intangibles. I had my second shot over two months ago, but some people *cough* evangelicals *cough* tinfoil hats *cough* are still dragging their heels. It's now very much a common courtesy thing, a necessary obligation when I shop or whenever I'm in class.

Things are trending in a positive way here in the US, but my optimism is hindered by a spike in cases in India, Nepal, and other far-flung locales. A new variant has been found in Vietnam, which isn't that far from where COVID-19 was first discovered 18 months ago. (Okay, fine, it's a 10 hour flight, but still.) As I said earlier this year, we can't pretend this is over just yet. 80% is not 100%. 

Next Week: my annual (albeit late) mindset list.

(676)

Better Unread Than Dead

My New Year's resolutions in 2015 and 2020 were relatively similar: I wanted to make a conscious effort to reconnect with people I haven't seen or heard from recently. With 2020 being a wash for obvious reasons, I extended this vague goal into 2021. I have give or take 2,500 FB friends, so someone is naturally going to be left behind. For anyone that isn't on FB or largely skirks social media, it makes for a fun challenge. Having been on social media since the mid-2000s, and being in college when this unique interconnectivity was at its advent, there aren't that many people my age or younger that are "off the grid."

I often wonder about the people that don't answer their messages. The ignored texts, the overlooked emails. Do I have old contact info? Did I land in the spam folder? Admittedly, I used to take this sort of thing a lot harder. I still find it rude, but I have a better understanding of why someone might not reply; most often, they're too busy. By no means do I expect a reply within the hour; I'm perfectly happy with a short reply. Too often, I feel like I'm shooting an arrow through the air; where it lands? No idea where.

The weirdest feeling is when you figure out someone has blocked you on Facebook or Instagram or something without cause or explanation. I've run into that a few times; if I do have that alternate means, I typically write a "hello, how are things?" without directly addressing the snub. Usually, in those cases I don't get a reply. I'm not afraid of confrontation per se, but I'm not going to send an unprovoked "WTF" text either. I'm socially awkward, so misunderstandings can abound.

In any case, I hope they're doing well. I wouldn't reach out to just anyone.

(675)

30 Teams, 30 Haiku: My 2021 Baseball Preview

 It's haiku time!

If it feels like I just posted this seven and a half months ago, well, that's because I did. We're entering our second season of baseball with COVID, and the trepidation has evolved into something peculiar. How many people will be allowed in the stands? How much money will MLB stand to lose between the pandemic, sky-high free agents, and skepticism about the exposed Astros? I don't know to answer those questions, but I know how to break down all the teams in 17 soma: 

* note wild card teams

AL EAST

1. Yankees (98-64) Title contenders/(again) even without Judge/or Stanton healthy.

2. Rays* (97-65) Like the Yanks, without/pitching depth; bats blossom for/Arozarena.

3. Blue Jays (82-80) Like the Rays, with less/pitching still; young lineup has/Springer in their step.

4. Red Sox (76-86) Lost in the shuffle/is new-look Bosox; give them/another year, tops.

5. Orioles (72-90) The (John) Means to win/aren't there yet; Mancini will/return to form, though.

AL CENTRAL

1. Twins (86-76) Cruz, ageless bopper/in soft division, power/makes you see double.

2. White Sox (84-78) Quite overrated/there's upside, but will they grow/up? Ask Drunk Tony. 

3. Royals (81-81) Keep your Whits about/you; improved regals have a/stockade of young arms.

4. Indians (74-88) Name change soon, but these/pitchers aren't anonymous/who plays outfield, though?

5. Tigers (71-91) Outside of Miggy/no star power; young, raw, and/often rough to watch.

AL WEST

1. Astros (99-63) Cheaters, remember?/JV injury hinders/orange redemption.

2. Athletics* (93-69) Minimal changes/are concerning; offense depth?/Especially so.

3. Angels (92-70) Everyone here/Ohtani, Adell, *and* Trout/needs a rebound year.

4. Mariners (67-95) Puget Sound youngsters/competent all-around, but/expect to tread water.

5. Rangers (64-98) Newly rebuilding/good outfield... and not much else/Kiner, team leader?

NL EAST

1. Braves (96-66) After LCS/collapse, deep roster has one/goal in mind: World Champs.

2. Mets* (94-68) Hello, Steve Cohen/free agent bonanza has/fans Flushing with glee.

3. Nationals (87-75) Like '19, sleeper/team with upset potential/but must stay healthy.

4. Phillies (79-83) Big bats, no defense/any team with Bryce will be/quite overrated.

5. Marlins (77-85) These fish kinda stink/last year's Cinderella team/are wearing glass cleats.

NL CENTRAL

1. Brewers (90-72) Love the rotation/*and* the bullpen, but Yelich/must return to form.

2. Cardinals (88-74) Nolan boosts aging/core; possible last run for/Waino and Yadi? 

3. Reds (83-79) In Queen City, more/is less; top-heavy pitching/with hot-or-cold bats.

4. Cubs (80-82) '16 seems like a/distant memory; budget/cuts will continue.

5. Pirates (63-99) New Walmart wonders?/Scabs, lack of prospects, so not/much bang for your Buc.

NL WEST

1. Dodgers (100-62) No discernible/weaknesses makes a repeat/inevitable.

2. Padres* (94-68) Ooooooh, that Snell! Friars/have energy to spare; they/just need a closer. 

3. Giants (71-91) The closest thing to/a spoiler; Posey is/surrounded by youth.

4. D-Backs (70-92) Trending downward in/the desert; can MadBum find/his insanity?

5. Rockies (63-99) Forget Chuck, this whole/team is Nazty; Rox' rebuild/not a gorgeous view.

AL MVP: Mike Trout, Angels

NL MVP: Mookie Betts, Dodgers

AL Cy Young: Shane Bieber, Indians

NL Cy Young: Jacob deGrom, Mets

AL ROY: Ryan Mountcastle, Orioles

NL ROY: Ke'Bryan Hayes, Pirates

First Manager Fired: Joe Girardi, Phillies

2021 World Series: Dodgers over Astros in 6

(674)

Dispatches from Arm's Length, Part 15

 One damn year. What was supposed to be a few weeks, maybe a couple months has now dragged on for over a year. I'm glad to see vaccinations are accelerating, but the assumption that just because the weather is warmer means relaxing certain protocols is lazy and dangerous. (Remember when people thought the summer heat would kill the virus?) I feel like we're 75% of the way there, yet we're going to be at 75% for a good while. 

I have both of my shots, but I'm still going to wear a mask everywhere. It's common courtesy, if nothing else. People are getting sloppy and inconsistent about mask-wearing here in Chicago and the suburbs, which is as troubling now as it was 12 months ago.

My annual Spring battle with allergies came and went last year with much of an impact, and I think wearing a mask contributed to that. I get hit again in mid-October too, and I had maybe two days of sneezing and nasal drip. I hope against hope that this March and April will be the same. Otherwise, I'll stock up on Claritin.

Next week: my annual baseball preview.

(673)

Random Notes, March 2021

 Bouncing off the (news) satellites:

+ I was fully expecting the early days of the Biden administration to be a mixed bag. The worst is gone, but our problems will not be immediately absolved. The decision to bomb Syria to intimidate Iran was concerning, but I like what Biden et al. are doing in regards to the pandemic. 

+ Meanwhile, I have both of my COVID shots!

+ It probably goes without saying I'm not flying to Texas for Spring Break. Money is too tight to travel, on top of... well, you know. I am saving my money for a couple of short, cost-effective road trips, though.

+ If I've been keeping my semi-regular dispatches short, I've been distracted or overwhelmed by other things at the moment. Cleaning out our parents' house has been just as much of a challenge as I expected. My sister and I are sifting through the belongings of not just things we inherited from our parents, but from grandparents, aunts and uncles as well. So much of our once big, sprawling Catholic brood has trickled down to the two of us.

+ I'm guardedly optimistic about my Royals this year. We made a number of good moves, and I have faith in our plethora of above-average arms in the minor leagues. I'll go more into detail when I write my baseball haikus later this month. 

(672)

Dispatches from Arm's Length, Part 14

Nearly half a million Americans are dead. A population the size of Kansas City has been wiped out by COVID. The rise of numerous variants has complicated most forms of treatment. For some, we're beyond pandemic fatigue. For others, we hope for the best, even without an end in sight.

I am now one of the few and lucky to have been vaccinated. One of the districts I sub for offered, and I accepted. I drove to a local high school gym on a Saturday morning, took my sweater off, and there it went. I felt groggy the rest of the day, but otherwise I'm fine. I'll get my second Moderna shot in early March.

Other notes:

+ Former President Trump getting acquitted a second time was disappointing, though hardly surprising. You can blame the Democrat higher-ups or weak-willed Republicans, but to me they're apples and oranges. The prosecution was excellent, but the decision to not call witnesses made the lack of punishment a foregone conclusion. 

+ It took a year, but the epic Minor League Baseball realignment happened. I was half-right about the outcome; the Burlington Bees were shut out, but the Beloit Snappers were spared. On the flip side, the Kane County Cougars didn't make the cut, but now they're joining an "MLB partnership" league that's basically independent ball. Alas, I'm still a season-ticker holder, so I guess I'll witness first-hand whether this works out.

(671)

Still Hiding in Plain Sight

Sorry for the delay, everyone. I had a hard time writing this one without going too much into detail:

Two weeks ago, I had to block a former improv teammate on all social media. I described my situation with his person and a non-for-profit improv organization 15 months ago. I was participating in a goofy contest for the organization via Facebook, and they commented that Funny Bones is transphobic. (This is the same person that threatened to sue and lead a boycott of a children's charity.) I deleted the comment, then they rewrote it 10 minutes later. They did the same thing on Instagram. This was my first direct interaction with this person since they were kicked out in November 2019.

I don't feel great about doing it, especially with how complicated the situation was, but it was probably the best course of action. This person was looking for a confrontation, and I know that no matter what I was going to say, they weren't going to budge. A mutual friend --a woman they dated briefly last year-- was willing to hear me out. She suggested it was argumentum ad lapidem, or "appeal to the stone." This person in question is too festering with anger from this and other situations to hear a counter-argument. The problem is them, not me. 

(670)

These Last Four Years (Which Felt Like a Decade)

 Much like my late December music blog, it's become a tradition of sorts to letter-grade an outgoing U.S. president. I've been writing this blog for almost 16 years, and I summed up the Bush 43 and Obama administrations in lengthier than usual pieces. Given who our latest outgoing president is, I don't think I'll be nearly as verbose.

I don't think there's really anything I can say that hasn't already been analyzed or scrutinized in regard to Donald John Trump. He is by far the most polarizing president of our time, a man no one has no opinion about. No one used (or abused) social media quite like he did, and certainly no one flirted with abusing their power like Trump, either. History will remember him for running laps around Nixon's misdeeds. To paraphrase the man himself, he grabbed democracy by the pussy. 

Trump is a man of contradictions, if you consider his love for attention and disregard for the media contradictory. He is man who loves attention, a category 5 narcissist, who can't handle any negative news directed at him. He persuaded his base, already socially conservative and disdainful of the social media, to make "fake news" his mantra of choice both on the campaign trail and in office. He lives for flattery and bombast. 

I could just rattle off his various crises and scandals: the Russia hack, the sloppy attempt to cover up the Russia hack, Ivanka plugging her handbags, Stormy Daniels, myriad deregulations, a mountain of sexual misconduct allegations, and of course the situation in Ukraine that led to impeachment. His failure to address COVID --at least, until he tested positive himself-- was a stain on his final year in office. Now, just days after a bunch of Trump's most rabid supporters raided the U.S. Capitol building, a second impeachment is not beyond possibility. (Forgive the brevity, but frankly I'm sick of writing about the man.)

I remember reading something in Entertainment Weekly 15 years ago (I want to attribute this to Alynda Wheat, but I'm probably wrong) about the pitfalls of giving anything an "F" review. Wheat or someone else said that if you give something the lowest possible grade, it implies that the film, TV show, etc. has a train wreck quality that will still intrigue and attract people. An F makes one think it's so bad it's good, like "The Room." Almost for that reason alone, I'm giving Trump a D-, which is marginally better but far less savory. Trump had a few scant positive achievements, but they were minor and offer little long-term impact. 

In short, a new voice can't come soon enough. Former Vice President Joe Biden, our oldest elected U.S. President, has a tall order ahead of him. He's not perfect, but in many ways he's already an improvement over his volatile predecessor. Things can only get better. 

(669)