That Wonderful Year in Music... 2022

 

2022 wasn't necessarily as deep as 2020 or 2021 were, but it arguably more versatile and eclectic. A number of artists returned from lenghty hiatuses (some COVID related, others not) while others maintained a steady pace. There was a fun mix of old stalwarts, artists in their prime, and promising debuts. 

In short, it seems like we're knee-deep in a particular era of popular music, but I can't pinpoint a name or dominant genre. (Then again, I don't think there's been an underwhelming year for music since 2013 or '14.) That also means a ridiculous, bountiful variety of interesting sounds. There doesn't seem to be a consensus best album from the critics, either. It's best to just ignore the arguments, take these suggestions, and plug in your headphones. 

BEST POP/ROCK ALBUMS

1. Renaissance, Beyonce. The first of a reported trilogy, Queen Bey's first proper solo album since Lemonade could have suffered from too many cooks. ("Alien Superstar" has 26 credited writers and producers. Not a typo.) Fortunately for the Beyhive and casual music fans alike, this is an effortably danceable album, both retro and looking forward, exquisitely arranged like a DJ mix.

2. Blue Rev, Alvvays. A Lazarus act if there ever was one, this Canadian collective weathered five years of stolen demos, personnel changes, *and* a flooded basement that ruined their gear to release their strongest work to date. They didn't alter their sound either, retaining their usual insistent, hooky rush with a slight glow-up. Old school shoegaze and 90s jangle-pop fans won't feel lost here.

3. And In The Darkness, Hearts Aglow, Weyes Blood. In another artist's hands, this follow-up to 2019's lush Titanic Rising would've sank under the weight of its own self-seriousness. Both sequel and ambitious companion piece, Natalie Mering's steady, mellow, double-tracked vocals continue and build upon Titanic's gorgeous arrangements and intricate songwriting.

4. Mr. Morale & the Big Steppers, Kendrick Lamar

5. Ants From Up There, Black Country, New Road

6. A Light for Attracting Attention, The Smile

7. Skinty Fia, Fontaines DC

8. Gemini Rights, Steve Lacy

9. Once Twice Melody, Beach House

10. Big Time, Angel Olsen

11. Pompeii, Cate Le Bon

12. Aethiopes, Billy Woods

13. WE, Arcade Fire

14. Preacher's Daughter, Ethel Cain

15. Melt My Eyez See Your Future, Denzel Curry

16. Caprisongs, FKA Twigs

17. Laurel Hell, Mitski

18. Fossora, Bjork

19. Versions of Modern Performance, Horsegirl

20. Ugly Season, Perfume Genius

BEST JAZZ ALBUMS

1. Ghost Song, Cécile McLorin Salvant. I dislike hyperbole almost as much I disdain repeating myself, but I'm reiterating this for emphasis: Cécile is the best vocalist in music right now. Not the best in jazz, not the top BIPOC singer, the best full stop. On this latest work her gift is her weapon, and we've never heard it so relentless or tormented. The sparse arrangement, led by guitarist Marvin Sewell, matches her energy as she throttles from love to loss, from life to death. Opening with a Kate Bush cover was ballsy, but she justifies it and then some. 

2. Trio: Ocean, Charles Lloyd

3. World Construct, Matthew Shipp Trio

4. Origin, Joey Alexander

5. The Lights Are Always On, Lynne Arriale Trio

Honorable Mention: Every Note Is True, Ethan Iverson.

Best Jazz Album of 2021 I Didn't Hear Until Early '22: Dear Love, Jazzmeia Horn & Her Noble Force

BEST SINGLES (in no order)

"Prester John," Animal Collective

"Eight Years Old With An iPhone," Joshua Epithet 

"Unnecessary Drama," Belle and Sebastian

"Paddle to the Stars," The Dip

"Bad Love," Dehd

"Love Brand New," Bob Moses

"Mistakes," Sharon Van Etten

"Angelica," Wet Leg

"Under Control," MJ Lenderman

"Perm Act," Osees

"Make a Picture," Andrew Bird

"Seventeen Going Under," Sam Fender

"Trash Mental," Sinaive

"New Body Rhumba," LCD Soundsystem

"Selfish Soul," Sudan Archives

"Billie Toppy," Men I Trust

"Get Inspired," Genesis Owusu

"Expert in a Dying Field," Beths

"Shotgun," Soccer Mommy

"Lullaby," Grace Ives

Best Lionel Richie Imitation: Bruce Springsteen's cover of "Nightshift"

Best Radiohead Side Project Named After Something Thom Yorke Never Does: The Smile

BEST VIDEOS

1. "We Cry Together," Kendrick Lamar feat. Taylour Paige. A rare pick that is Oscar-eligible, this clip is a too-honest take on toxic relationships and the horribly vicious fights (and apologies) that keep them going.

2. "Out of Time," The Weeknd. Karaoke, anyone?

3. "Shinigami Eyes," Grimes feat. Jennie. On a personal level, 2022 was a challenging year for Canada's freakiest polymath artist. It didn't deter her from this slick, technical marvel of a video, a robotic acid trip that grips your subconscious.

4. "Ur Mum," Wet Leg. As a former 20-year-old myself, I can assure you 20-year-old guys are annoying.

5. "Free," Florence + The Machine. An absolute bop about mental health, personified by a grounded Bill Nighy.

Honorable Mentions: "Purple Zone," Soft Cell & Pet Shop Boys; "What I Want," MUNA; "New Beginning," Automatic.

WORST MUSIC VIDEO: "From the D 2 the LBC," Eminem and Snoop Dogg. If you believe both rappers have delved into self-parody at this point, here's your Exhibit A. Four minutes of NFG infatuation, aged like milk, intended to promote Slim Shady's second (and mostly unnecessary) greatest hits disc.

Your thoughts?

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My 18th Annual Thanks/No Thanks List

 As I do every year in the fourth week of November, I pause from the 24-hour news cycle and get introspective. Largely because its overlooked and there's no annoying music, I suppose Thanksgiving is my favorite holiday. Regardless, I'll try to keep this short and sweet. 

Thanks: I'm on another long-term sub assignment! My third in 13 months, and with the same group of students. I feel like behavior issues have increased, but I appreciate the steady work. I'm also grateful to be in a good district with some support. Beyond that, I'm thankful that our 45th president's sway in the GOP is on the decline. 

No Thanks: the lack of common sense gun control, inflation, lingering supply chain issues, and transmission repairs. You know, the usual crap.

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The 50.5% Solution

Any projection of GOP "red wave" in this year's midterms was exaggerated, or like many GOP claims, baseless. That's not denying that they made a ripple; both houses of Congress were a toss-up several days after the election, and it looks like the Republicans will take a narrow majority of House of Representatives.  On the other hand, the US Senate is secured for the Democrats... for now.

Speaking of narrow, the record number of races with margins under 1% is concerning, especially with some of the candidates that lost narrowly. A fair number of Republican candidates that received approximately 49% of the popular vote (or slightly less) ran on the Big Lie or received wholehearted endorsements from ex-President Trump. At least one losing candidate was actually at the failed Capital siege in January 2021. 

That's not to say this was a banner year for Democrats. If the GOP had its share of rotten eggs, the Dems are heavy on stale bread. A fair number of liberal candidates were elected because the Trump-backed Republicans were either inept or just unpalatable.  Age remains an issue; I've discussed Nancy Pelosi and Joe Biden's age in the past, but 89-year-old Sen. Chuck Grassley (R-IA) was just elected to an eighth term. At least we have our first Gen-Z congressman. 

In the end, it all breaks down to the race that garnered the most media attention: the ugly U.S. Senate race between Rev. Raphael Warnock and Herschel Walker in Georgia. Neither nabbed 50% of the vote (shades of 2020), and the difference between them was literally in the triple figures, so a run-off will be held in early December. Stacey Abrams is both the reason why a deep south state is suddenly purple and the state's sacrificial lamb, having lost twice to a former Secretary of State that conveniently altered election rules in his favor. Sadly, there's still a possibility the mealy-mouthed Walker can still beat Warnock. 

Next Week: my 18th annual thanks/no thanks list.

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Remember, Remember, The 8th of November

 Election Day is tomorrow. This is my ninth election cycle since I started this blog, and I feel like with each passing decision the stakes have risen. I've grown to resent how the first midterm of a president is an early moratorium on the sitting president; that has taken an uneasy turn, as a president as uniquely vulnerable as Joe Biden could be handcuffed by a GOP that has descended into pseudo-fascism and cult of personality. 

Misinformation has always had a home in American politics. Even before the internet, lies and slander were ingredients in the average candidate's word salad. Now we have dueling echo chambers, with the GOP's arguably being the loudest and more shrill of the two. The events of 1/6 should have been reckoning, a moment of crisis for Republicans at every level; instead, 1/6 "attendees" are running for office, and the majority of GOP candidates think the 2020 election was stolen without any proof. It's saddening and appalling, but the seeds of this were planted over a decade ago with the Tea Party. 

My message remains the same: vote. I beg of you, vote. Your decision in the booth makes an impact. Do your part as an American citizen, and afterwards if all else fails, hope for the best.

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Random Notes, October 2022

 My latest mish-mosh of thoughts and opinions: 

+ The fallout of Dobbs v. Jackson was bound to make at least one anti-abortion candidate look like a hypocrite. There is substantial evidence that Herschel Walker, a football star turned political novice running for US Senator in Georgia, paid for an ex-girlfriend's pregnancy termination. In spite of the scandal, the notoriously inarticulate Walker is in a toss-up race with incumbent Dr. Raphael Warnock, because... it's Georgia. He's even playing the Christian card, even though Warnock is a prominent minister. Pro-lifers historically don't waver, but the campaign is well-funded enough to make one of the most incompetent campaigns in recent memory (hi Dr. Oz!) an ungainly deadlock.

+ Why are the senate and house both contested this close to the election, when the president's party historically loses ground in their first midterm? Two wedge issues: Democrats and progressives are motivated by Dobbs v. Jackson and women's health rights, while Republicans and conservatives are concerned about the economy. The Big Lie is a secondary factor, demonstrating that of the dueling echo chambers, the Republicans' reinforcement of ideals is the most airtight. The spectrum of liberal politics are setting their differences aside for a little while for the greater good, a GOP that is still tied to Trump and hijacked by jerks, rubes and wahoos.

+ As I write this, every team in the reconfigured National League playoffs with home field has been eliminated. The 5 and 6 seeds will face each other in the NLCS, two playoff spots that didn't exist as recently as 2011. If the pattern persists, a Phillies team that ran hot and cold all season will defy the odds and face either the Yankees, Guardians, or Astros in the World Series. I mention this because... I don't know if I like this or not. Several more deserving teams faltered at the worst possible time. It became the Friars or Phils almost by default. 

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Up The Palace

 Had I been blogging as consistently as I did for the first seven years, largely during my time as an editor and forum moderator at TV.com, I would have reached the milestone of 700 posts about four years ago. Alas, I have my skewer in too many fires nowadays, and I fear that my attention span has dwindled as well. Regardless, for everyone who has been reading this at any point with any consistency since June 2005, I thank you. 

Speaking of long anticipated milestones, the Queen is dead. The reign of Britain's Elizabeth II, which lasted a record 70 years, began and ended during uncertain times in the kingdom's history. When her father Edward VI passed in 1952, the UK was still rebuilding in every sense from World War II. Her son, the awkward, entitled doofus now called Charles III, inherits an energy crisis, bad PR from his brother *and* daughter-in-law, and a teetering post-Brexit economy. On top of that, his Prime Minister had only been on the job two days when his mum passed. 

Charles III has always been the butt of jokes, so some Britons have taken solace in what will be a quick coronation and likely a short reign. (Well, relatively speaking.) Where Elizabeth was the embodiment of grace and consistency in her improbably long run, Charles is not known for either. Approaching his 74th birthday, England's first king since the early 1950s has a unique learning curve. He also inherits a kingdom that, over half a century removed from the death of imperialism, is slowly reckoning with its history of pillaging and enslavement. 

Will God save the king? Only time will tell.

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32 Teams, 32 Haiku: My 2022 NFL Preview

 

I work best with deadlines, so naturally I tend to make sports predictions mere hours (in some cases, minutes) before the first game of the season starts. Even if my Bears aren't challenging anyone this year, there's always another storyline to latch on in the NFL. Without further ado, my annual football forecast:

AFC NORTH

1. Bengals (11-6) Overachievers/must claw past improved rivals/Burrow won’t (h)airball.

2. Ravens* (10-7) Rejuvenated/and maybe healthy; birds won’t/drop six straight again.

3. Steelers (8-9) Will Tomlin’s streak end?/QB play, most curious/No questions on D.

4. Browns (6-11) Deshaun suspension/casts a pall; run-first O will/settle for Brissett.

AFC EAST

1. Bills (13-4) Madcap playoff loss/motivates; Allen isn’t/joshing; too much depth.

2. Dolphins* (10-7) Tua must grow up/all the other pieces are/here for playoff run.

3. Patriots (9-8) O-line questions wracks/Mac’s apple; no OC or/DC? I’m confused.

4. Jets (5-12) Gang Green upswing; Zach/and strong draft class will excite/but not contend yet.

AFC SOUTH

1. Titans (10-7) Tannehill for now/but Malik is the future/to serve King Henry.

2. Colts (9-8) WIll Matty Ice melt/under pressure? Playoff dreams/must be Taylor-made.

3. Jaguars (4-13) Did Urban ruin/T-Law? Lush free agent adds/for bonus baby.

4. Texans (2-15) Lovie among the/ruins; inexperience/makes for rough viewing.

AFC WEST

1. Chiefs (12-5) Fresh faces and tough/schedule vex Mahomes; they/just need good Juju.

2. Chargers* (10-7) The record deceives/Herbert became elite quick/in deep division.

3. Broncos (8-9) No top tier QBs/drafted since Elway; Russ won’t/make much difference.

4. Raiders (8-9) Offense upgrades might/finally help Carr; Crosby/takes D to the Maxx.

NFC NORTH

1. Packers (12-5) Run-happy offense/result of hefty Rodgers/deal; title or bust.

2. Vikings* (10-7) Top tier O always/undercut; pass rush upgrade/might not be enough.

3. Bears (7-10) Give Roquan that cash/new stadium drama means/two rebuilds in town.

4. Lions (6-11) Optimist Campbell/wants this team to be mmm, mmm/good; cats make small gains.

NFC EAST

1. Eagles (11-6) Several good drafts/offer youth and upside, but/AJ Brown don’t clown.

2. Cowboys* (9-8) Tyron Smith’s bum knee/might unspool the whole D; Dak/*better* stay healthy.

3. Commanders (8-9) Wentz under center/finally gives McLaurin/potential breakout.

4. Giants (4-13) Judge, executed/rebuild back at zero, not/unlike “Groundhog Day.”

NFC SOUTH

1. Bucs (12-5) Tom Brady’s portrait/ages in an attic; new/coach Oscar Wilde?

2. Saints (8-9) Bayou oddity/Who Dat D will carry load/not chancy Jameis.

3. Panthers (7-10) Are Baker and Sam/good or awful QBs? My/best answer is yes. 

4. Falcons (3-14) Angelo and Pace/Chicago legends bring their/winning ways deep south.

NFC WEST

1. Rams (11-6) Status quo reigns, though/Matt is one year older; depth/is a concern, too.

2. Cardinals* (10-7) Kyler the bookworm/leads them through controversy/death, and bad PR.

3. Niners (8-9) Lance will be a lot/lack of free agent legroom/gives off win-now vibe.

4. Seahawks (6-11) Legion of Boom ends/with a fizzle; best QB/option is… Geno?

*denotes wild card

OTHER PICKS:

NFL MVP: Jonathan Taylor, Colts
Offensive ROY: Chris Olave, Saints
Defensive ROY: Aidan Hutchinson, Lions
First Head Coach Fired: Matt Rhule, Panthers
Super Bowl LVII: Bills 30, Rams 27

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Random Notes, August 2022

 Hot takes, sometimes reheated:

+ After a lengthy schnied, the Biden Administration has a modest winning streak going. After 18 months of COVID-distracted sputtering, culminating in Biden contracting the virus twice in two weeks, he's finally getting stuff done. The climate change bill might define his presidency so far, and college debt elimination was a modified campaign promise. Whether this saves him or the Democrats in '22 and '24 could either be just enough or too little, too late. 

+ What to make of the midterms? At the moment, the House of Representatives is a toss-up, but I think the Democrats will retain the U.S. Senate and then some. The GOP simply has too many vulnerable incumbents (Ron Johnson, Marco Rubio) and peculiar first-time candidates (Dr. Oz, Herschel Walker). That's not to say any of the above will get blown out, but polls are not tipping in their favor. 

+ I often tell friends that radio was my great unrequited love. Hosting and producing barprov shows is a distant second. In 2 1/2 years of COVID, Flower Shop Bangers has produced exactly one in-person show. The fact of the matter is, barprov in Chicago is more or less dead. An entire thriving scene in 2012 steadily whittled down to nothing; a lot of local pubs simply don't make money on the shows. As I write this, Dan and I are re-strategizing. Stay tuned. 

Next time: my annual NFL preview.

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Dispatches from Arm's Length, Part 21

Around the time the school year ended in late May, I had a bad cold. I tested twice for COVID, both times negative. Even though I recovered, I noticed a very slight, on and off tickle in my throat, and it took awhile to subside. I've also been more sluggish than usual, though I attribute that to inconsistent sleeping habits. There was also a rash of cases in my improv ensemble, though that was after Independence Day. Our group ranges in age from 27 to 62, and the older members took longer to recover than the young'ens.

I guess the experts were right-- at some point, all Americans will get COVID. Whether it becomes a seasonal occurrence like the flu, I'm not as sure about. My protection has been wavering; I'm growing even more inconsistent about mask use. This morning I drove to meet someone for brunch, and in transit I realized I left my mask at home. I ordered new masks to replace a homemade one that was gradually falling apart; they allegedly arrived in late June, but never arrived. I'm blaming my erratic local postal service, not the eBay seller. 

At some point I'll get my second booster, I just don't know when. As I have for 2 1/2 years now, I'll keep sleeping with one eye open. 

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A Season of Bloodshed

If the USA in 2022 is a Chuck E. Cheese Whack-A-Mole machine of crises, then gun control is the latest plastic rodent to be hit with a cushioned mallet. A bipartisan bill has been signed but isn't in effect just yet. Regardless, this is already shaping up to be one of the bloodiest summers in recent memory, with mass shootings in Buffalo, NY, Uvalde, TX, and most recently Highland Park, IL. Those are just the most notable shootings; there has been a smattering of massacres all across the continental US.

I said this several years ago, and my stance hasn't wavered much: if you keep a .45 in the house, fine. You own a hunting rifle or two? Cool. If you own an AR-15 assault rifle... why? I'm personally not interested in guns, but I respect the constitutional right to own one. At the same time, there is a time and place for military grade weaponry, and that's if you're in the military, in the heat of combat. The rest is just paranoia and politics. That the Highland Park shooting happened at an Independence Day parade, the most patriotic of holidays, a day to celebrate democracy and freedom, is cognitive dissonance. 

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Bad Decisions

 We've taken a remarkable step backwards. 

In a head-spinning 28 hour stretch this past Thursday and Friday, the U.S. Supreme Court (in ascending order of concern) struck down the strictest concealed-carry law in the country, protected police officers from lawsuits if they forget to read the Miranda rights, and overturned Roe v. Wade. While this doesn't completely outlaw abortion in the US, it will allow 26 states to ban any form of pregnancy termination, while possibly overwhelming clinics in the other 24 states. 

This is a rallying point for Christian and social conservatives, a dwindling but obnoxiously vocal minority. Otherwise, this is the most unpopular SCOTUS decision in recent memory. This is the culmination of a brick by brick Republican takeover of SCOTUS, one that began in early 2016, when then-Senate Majority Leader Mitch McConnell said it too close to a presidential election for President Obama to appoint Merrick Garland to succeed Antonin Scalia. That lead to three straight Trump appointees, stacking SCOTUS to the right by a 2:1 margin for the first time since the Reagan era. 

A short history lesson: even though there were over a dozen consecutive Republican SCOTUS appointees between 1969 and 1993 (Carter had zero) justices like John Paul Stevens and Sandra Day O'Connor proved more moderate or pragmatic than the average tighty righty. That time period included Roe v. Wade in 1973, where a court with five Republican appointees voted 7-2 to legalize abortion as a right to privacy under due process. No one expected Neil Gorsuch, Brett Kavanaugh, or Amy Coney Barrett to make a surprise flip. This ulterior motive was nakedly obvious. 

As a cisgender white male, I can't personally articulate the pain and anguish that I've seen from friends and acquaintances on social media over the last few days. I'm distraught, but I'm letting those directly affected speak first. There are no viable solutions in the short term, which is disheartening. All I can personally do is protest, show allyship, and wish that maybe 15-20 years down the road, a SCOTUS that tilts left can strike down Dobbs v. Jackson.

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I Reemerge

 This month marks 17 years since I started this blog. That might seem random, but I have a personal connection to that number. Regardless, thank you to everyone who's been reading this since the TV.com days and made the transition over to Blogspot. I know I've been very inconsistant about blogging during COVID, and I hope to rectify that over the summer. 

The school year is over, and for the time being I'm burned out. Though there are school districts that have management issues and far worse problems, having two long-term sub assignments in an understaffed school certainly augmented my struggles. Regardless, I've been a substitute for 12 years, and I still intend to fill in for teachers for a 13th. 

The last week of school was trouble compounded by more trouble. Beyond your typical end-of-year rowdiness, my Instagram was hacked on May 24th. Apparently, I replied to a friend's DM on the social media app, not realizing she was hacked. I did not disclose any personal information, all I did was reply. It took 29 days for Instagram to over any viable help; several attempts to contact tech support failed, but something went through on June 22nd. If you want to add me there, I'm @ohhimrallard. 

Then the dog died. Eight months after Duke crossed the rainbow bridge, Hank the Dachshund succumbed to an inoperable tumor in his bile duct. He was a good boy... most of the time. I had mixed feelings about my sister buying him in a pet shop, but he very gradually ingrained himself into the family. 

With that said, this has been an awful week in the news. I'll discuss that in my next dispatch. 

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Through a Freshman's Eyes: Abu Ghraib Edition

Graduation season is here. It's also time to realize that most of this year's high school graduates were born in late 2003 and early 2004, and their perspective of the world is just a tad different than anyone born in the 20th century. These incoming college freshmen have a curious perspective.

With that said, if you graduated high school this year...

...China has always been in space.

...privately funded spaceplanes have always been in orbit.

...Latvia has always been in the EU and NATO.

...Elon Musk has always run Tesla.

...same-sex marriages have always been legal in California and Massachusetts.

...Donald Trump has always been associated with a reality TV series.

...Barack Obama has always been a national figure.

...Facebook and 4Chan have always existed.

..."Friends," "Frasier," and "Sex & The City" has always been in repeats.

...Ken Jennings has always been associated with "Jeopardy!"

...Janet Jackson has always been associated with indecent exposure and "wardrobe malfunctions."

...Arnold Schwarzenegger has always been known as "The Governator."

...Howard Dean has always been associated with screaming.

...Kenan Thompson has always been on SNL.

...Craig Kilborn has never hosted a talk show.

...Casey Kasem has never hosted a radio show.

...you might be graduating with a set of sextuplets. 

...LeBron James and Carmelo Anthony have always been in the NBA, and Kobe Bryant and Shaquille O'Neal have never been teammates.

...Marc-Andre Fleury, Patrice Bergeron, Brent Burns, and Dustin Brown have always been in the NHL.

...Tom Brady has always had multiple Super Bowl rings (and has always been in the NFL).

...you might run into David Letterman, Conan O'Brien, *and* Jon Stewart on a college campus visit (all had babies in Fall 2003).

...Warren Zevon, Johnny Cash, John Ritter, Gordon Jump, Robert Palmer, Donald O'Connor, Althea Gibson, Elia Kazan, Robert Kardashian, Timothy "Grizzly Man" Treadwell, Elliot Smith, Rod Roddy, Bobby Hatfield, Art Carney, Jonathan Brandis, Warren Spahn, Alan Bates, Uta Hagen, Ann Miller, Helmut Newton, Leonidas, Mercedes McCambridge, Paul Winfield, Peter Ustinov, Alistair Cooke, Pat Tillman, Estee Lauder, Tony Randall, Elvin Jones, Ronald Reagan, Ray Charles, Marlon Brando, Isabel Sanford, Francis Crick, Henri Cartier-Bresson, Rick James, Fay Wray, Julia Child, Elmer Bernstein, and Laura Branigan always been dead. 

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Dispatches from Arm's Length, Part 20

I had a feeling. Even though the pandemic is under control, the latest variants are concerning. People that have successfully avoided COVID cases for two years are showing off their positive tests. COVID deaths have tapered off dramatically, but we're still inching toward one million US fatalities. 

While I've been a little more lax about wearing a mask in public, I'm still wearing one more often than not. When the mask mandate has lifted (or "adjusted") about a third of students and teachers in my schools kept theirs on. Now I'd say it's less than one quarter. I might remove mine if I'm at least six feet away from any student. It's Spring, I have seasonal allergies, but every time I get a little nasal drip or eat something bland, I get a little anxious. For the immunocompromised and other parts of the population, COVID is still a landmine. For that, the mask stays on.

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30 Teams, 30 Haiku: My 2022 MLB Preview

 

The lockout is over, some fans are jaded, but I remain undeterred: 

*notes wild card

NL EAST

1. Braves. Outstanding bullpen/bolstered by Jansen; can they/win with Acuna?

2. Mets. Are they stockpiling/or just burning money? Not/a believer yet.

3. Phillies. Everyone in the/batting order could DH/too bad they can’t field.

4. Nationals. A healthy Strasburg/could boost new-look squad; Soto/show isn’t enough.

5. Marlins. “Finish the rebuild!”/Jeter cries from afar; too/bad these fish swim slow.

NL CENTRAL

1. Brewers. Stud rotation won’t/throw cheese; Renfroe might hunt for/good power numbers.

2. Cardinals*. Yadi, Waino, and/Pujols– did I wake up in/2006? (Old.)

3. Cubs. Wisdom and Schwindel/will make them watchable; new/lovable losers.

4. Reds. Queen City rebuild/young bats surround Votto, but/injuries might mount.

5. Pirates. Despite "tank for Hank"/these Bucs still suck; title drought/enters middle age.

NL WEST

1. Dodgers. Big Blue, deep pockets/too bad Crypto won't buy you/good middle relief.

2. Giants*. Posey grew so Bart/could flower; injuries will/expose lack of depth.

3. Padres*. Melvin diffuses/clubhouse drama; they just need/one more outfielder. 

4. Rockies. Kris Bryant, tentpole/for an otherwise bad team/Bud Black, sitting duck?

5. D-Backs. The Marte deal would/suggest no rebuild, but where/are the Snakes going?

AL EAST

1. Yankees. Unvaxxed in pinstripes/they're a contender again?/Believe the science. 

2. Rays*. Wander-ing to a/wild card; quietly, some/well-rounded SPs.

3. Blue Jays. Upside up north; fun/team surpassed by big spenders/and deeper benches.

4. Red Sox. Looking at pitching/alone, can they ask Pedro/to unretire?

5. Orioles. Mullins and Means are/swarmed by prospects; think playoffs/around ‘26.

AL CENTRAL

1. White Sox. Enough talent for/another first round exit/a Grave(man) concern.

2. Twins. Exiled Yanks and/Correa balance out bats/that swing for power. 

3. Royals. Whit and Witt, those boys/can hit; grumpy Greinke, old/man leads young pitching.

4. Guardians. New name, weaker team/time to trade their third baseman?/”Uh… no way, Jose!”

5. Tigers. Handsome Javy, the/joy of six; Miggy hands him/superstar baton.

AL WEST

1. Astros. Welcome back, JV/lack of shortstop overcome/by talent surplus.

2. Mariners*. Ty France, si vous plais/playoffs, no ring but fans cry/”He went to Jarred!”

3. Angels*. Thor shipped his hammer/to Buena Park; Ohtani/gets his playoff nudge.

4. Rangers. Unproven pitching/hinders outfield surplus and/Seager’s arrival. 

5. A’s. Walmart wonders, yet/again; Cristian Pache must/sashay the offense. 

AL MVP: Xander Bogaerts, Red Sox

NL MVP: Juan Soto, Nationals 

AL Cy Young: Shane Bieber, Guardians

NL Cy Young: Corbin Burnes, Brewers

AL Rookie of the Year: Bobby Witt Jr, Royals

NL Rookie of the Year: CJ Abrams, Padres

First Manager Fired: Brandon Hyde, Orioles

2022 World Series: Dodgers over Yankees in 6

Looking East

 Why yes, I do have an opinion about Ukraine!

Right now, we're witnessing the closest we'll come to in our lifetimes to World War III. Vladimir Putin was a despot all along. However, he compares as much to the oligarchs that started the first war as the German individual that started the second one. The invasion is a political and economic power grab for a sovereign land that Russians apparently love to oppress. Ukraine is "the world's breadbasket" for a reason.

My only question is, will sanctions be enough to quash the threat or will other countries have to put boots on the ground? The invasion hasn't gone quite according to Putin's plan, and the resiliency of the Ukrainian people has been inspiring, but the stalemate is not going to last. 

Next week: my 2022 baseball preview.

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Dispatches from Arm's Length, Part 19

I assumed a while ago that mask mandates would be lifted on a gradual basis. For a certain part of the population, this is akin to liberation, a minor inconvenience interpreted as oppression. COVID cases are indeed tapering off after a volatile December and January, and as a result the mandates are beginning to waver. In my school districts, there were PTA and village council meetings where the hostility veered into the absurd, with anti-maskers coming out in full, buffoonish force. Some of the districts relented; masks have gone from mandatory to "highly encouraged." 

I subbed at Hinsdale Central High School on Monday, February 20th, the day their mandate was adjusted. I noticed about 70% of the faculty kept their masks on, but maybe 40% of the students the same. When I subbed again on Friday the 24th, the teachers were holding firm but about 25% of the student body had their noses and mouths covered. The mask mandate, as well as proof of vaccination in Chicago proper will be dropped Monday the 28th. 

Perhaps I'm in the minority, but I don't think we're ready yet. For almost two years now, we've seen every optimistic prediction come and go, variants rise and fall, and fight between precaution and denial. I am concerned that another variant is around the corner. Even if Omicron wasn't as life-threatening as its predecessor strains, and respiratory viruses often mutate and become less virulent and less of a serious health issue... it only feels safe now. Of course, the anti-maskers and anti-vaxxers are acting like they won the war. For them, I wish they would think about someone besides themselves. Somehow, serious illness won't get the point across. 

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That's Entertainment

 In the early days of the pandemic, I dreamed up a series of essays called Reading Periodically. Based on some past blog posts, plus new material, it would focus on my appreciation for magazines. Progress has been slow, but it's allowed me to broaden the scope to include my late father's shared love for magazines, as well as lament the death of print journalism.

I mention this as the news broke yesterday that Entertainment Weekly (among other periodicals) will cease publishing a print edition in late March. The April 2022 issue will mark the end of just over 32 years of covering movies, TV, music, literature and occasionally video games and Broadway. It cut a niche as the gap between vapid celebrity rags like People or US Weekly and trade mags like Variety as a source of entertainment news and editorials. 

I first discovered EW in early 1997. My grandmother fell for one of those Publisher's Clearinghouse-type scams, and suddenly had a plethora of magazine subscriptions. One of those was EW; I was instantly hooked by the listicles, witty commentary, and paragraph-length reviews. She realized it wasn't for cup of tea, so I ended up taking home her issues until the one-year subscription lapsed the following winter. After that, I bought issues at the newsstand or at Blockbuster Video until I couldn't afford the $2.99 a week. (Bear in mind, I was 13.)

After reading EW on and off at my local library for a few months, my father stumbled into a subscription in Spring 1999. The first issue had a cover story on Star Wars Episode I, the second had a list of the 100 most important moments in pop music 1950 to 1999. My father was as unfazed as his mother-in-law, and EW permanently joined my cache of regular must-reads. I don't think I ever tossed out a single issue; my whole collection is in storage.

Compared to other magazines that once had circulation in the high seven figures, EW was the baby of the family. It was launched in Winter 1990, decades after rivals like Time and Reader's Digest. Following in the tradition of e.e. cummings and bell hooks, entertainment Weekly was lower-case and diagonal until 1992. It was an early beneficiary of the "infotainment" movement of the era, offering stimulating and colorful images along shorter articles on a vast array of pop culture topics. Most crucial of all, it was the first mainstream magazine to address how AIDS/HIV affected Hollywood, and always kept an ear for LGBTQ+ culture. 

Print journalism isn't quite dead yet, but it's cornered. EW only faded out of relevance when everything else in print did. Time magazine is now bi-weekly, Sports Illustrated quietly became a monthly in early 2020, and other "heritage" weeklies ranging from People to The New Yorker will someday follow suit. I fear it's just a matter of time before they all go all online as well. EW, that subtly progressive stalwart, will be missed.

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Dispatches from Arm's Length, Part 18

 If 2020 was a upper right hook, then 2021 was a lower left cross. My optimism for 2022 is more guarded than ever before; things are not going to turn around immediately. The dread is vague yet palpable. 

I remain inconsistent about blogging if only because I'm still busy. I've barely commented on the Omicron variant, which eclipsed Delta in late November or early December. While not as brutal as Delta, it has noticeable symptoms and is far more contagious. I received my booster in mid-December, and even though I've been exposed on two occasions (mercifully, during winter break) I've tested negative twice since Christmas. The variant is subsiding somewhat, but I fear that it's a matter of time, though. 

It's astounding that this has now dragged on almost two years. We truly are a divided society, and a stubborn one at that. It opens up the possibility of an endless cycle of new variants and additional boosters, mostly because of misinformation and a distrust of science. The cracks are showing, and there's little any of us can do about it.

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