It's graduation season yet again. Another batch of high school seniors have achieved the minimum requirement of being a U.S. representative from Colorado. All joking aside, it's time for my annual "mindset list," as Beloit College used to publish every summer. This year's high school grads and incoming college kids were mostly born between late 2005 and mid-2006, and I try to explore their viewpoint of the world so far in their young lives.
With that said, if you are matriculating this year...
...New Orleans has never flooded.
...it has always been possible for a woman to be Chancellor of Germany.
...Vicente Fox was never President of Mexico.
...the Vice President of the United States never shot a guy in the face.
...you've never shopped at Marshall Field's.
...you never found a severed finger in your Wendy's chili.
...it has always been possible to get a face transplant.
...Twitter (or X) has always existed.
...the Playstation 3 has always existed.
...Google has always owned YouTube.
..."sexting" has always been a thing.
...the Chicago White Sox have never won, or played in, a World Series.
...everyone knows Magnolia Cupcakes are crazy delicious.
...you might run into Tina Fey and Maya Rudolph on a campus visit.*
...TV Guide has always been standard magazine size and never had local listings.
...you might also run into a girl who claims Enrique Iglesias is her nephew.
...Britney Spears and Kevin Federline were never married.
...Bob Denver, Justice William Rehnquist, Clarence "Gatemouth" Brown, Robert Wise, Sid Luft, Donn Clendenon, Simon Wiesenthal, Don Adams, Hamilton Camp, Nipsey Russell, August Wilson, Charles Rocket, Rosa Parks, Geoffrey Keen, Link Wray, Eddie Guerrero, Pat Morita, Vic Power, Richard Pryor, Eugene McCarthy, Michael Vale, Vincent Schiavelli, Patrick "Blue" Cranshaw, Lou Rawls, Jim Zulevic, Shelley Winters, Wilson Pickett, Chris Penn, Coretta Scott King, Wendy Wasserstein, Moira Shearer, Grandpa Al Lewis, Betty Friedan, Franklin Cover, Elton Dean, Peter Benchley, Ray Barretto, Harold Hunter, Curt Gowdy, Don Knotts, Dennis Weaver, Darrin McGavin, Harry Browne, Jack Wild, Kirby Puckett, Dana Reeve, Gordon Parks, John Profumo, Boom Boom Geoffrion, Slobodan Milošević, Maureen Stapleton, Oleg Cassini, Ray Meyer, Buck Owens, Jackie McLean, Gene Pitney, Proof, Muriel Spark, Steve Howe, John Kenneth Galbraith, Louis Rukeyser, Floyd Patterson, Jim Lemon, Lloyd Bentsen, Desmond Dekker, Craig "Ironhead" Heyward, Billy Preston, Abu Musab al-Zarqawi, the dog from "Frasier," Randy Walker, Kenneth Lay, Syd Barrett, June Allyson, Red Buttons, Mickey Spillane, Jack Warden, and Carl Brashear have always been dead.
*both had babies in Fall 2005
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