Through a Freshman's Eyes: "Superbad" Edition

Depending upon where you are in the United States, high school graduation was somewhere between the middle of last month and this week. Most of this year's graduates were (if you can stomach this) born between late 2006 and mid-2007. Keeping a tradition that started as a ripoff of Beloit College's old Mindset List, I try to offer a glimpse into the perspective of someone who was born my senior year at Illinois State. Take a deep breath and enjoy!

If you graduated high school this year...

...it has always been possible for a woman to be US Speaker of the House.

...you've never known a world without the iPhone, Apple TV, Hulu, SoundCloud, or Amazon Kindle. 

...you've never played with a Nintendo GameCube.

...Martin Scorsese's name has always been preceded by "Academy Award winner."

...you've always associated Seth Meyers with telling topical jokes, not sketch comedy.

...the Kardashian family have always had a TV show.

...people have always been debating the "Sopranos" finale.

...Britney Spears has always been associated with mental health issues and conservatorship.

...Michael Vick has always been associated with animal abuse.

...Barry Bonds has always been baseball's all-time home run king.

...Kevin Durant has always played in the NBA.

...Patrick Kane has always played in the NHL.

...Steve Irwin, Pat Corley, Ann Richards, Boz Burrell, Buck O'Neil, Carlo Acutis, Cory Lidle, Johnny Callison, Freddy Fender, Jane Wyatt, Sandy West, Joe Niekro, Red Auerbach, Johnny Sain, Ed Bradley, Milton Friedman, Bo Schembechler, Robert Altman, Anita O'Day, Emmett Kelly Jr, Jose Uribe, Peter Boyle, Lamar Hunt, Ahmet Ertegun, the son from "The Jeffersons," Joseph Barbera, James Brown, Gerald Ford, Darrent Williams, Harry Horse, Carlo Ponti, Alice Coltrane, Ron Carey, Art Buchwald, Bam Bam Bigelow, Denny Doherty, Vern Ruhle, Lorne "Gump" Worsley, Bob Carroll Jr, Barbaro, Sidney Sheldon, Molly Ivins, Anna Nicole Smith, Hank Bauer, Peggy Gilbert, Dennis Johnson, Lamar Lundy, John Inman, Brad Delp, Richard Jeni, Bowie Kuhn, Larry "Bud" Melman, Coach Eddie Robinson, Darryl Stingley, Johnny Hart, Barry Nelson, Roscoe Lee Browne, Kurt Vonnegut, Don Ho, Kitty Carlisle, Donald E. Stephens, David Halberstam, Boris Yeltsin, Jack Valenti, Tom Poston, Jerry Falwell, Charles Nelson Reilly, Clete Boyer, Bill France Jr, Don Herbert, Kurt Waldheim, Rod Beck, Chris Benoit, Liz Claiborne, Beverly Sills, Boots Randolph, Johnny Frigo, Charles Lane, Lady Bird Johnson, Tammy Faye Bakker, Mike Coolbaugh, Tom Snyder, Ingmar Bergman, Bill Walsh, Clarence "Tex" Walker, Merv Griffin, Brooke Astor, Phil "Scooter" Rizzuto, Max Roach, and Richard Jewell have always been dead.

Next time: my (proper) 20th anniversary post.

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Witless for the Prosecution

In February, I received my first ever jury summons. In Illinois, you have to call a hotline confirming availability; I did that, and a few weeks later I received a second letter giving me a specific day and time to arrive at Dirksen Federal Courthouse in the Loop. I filled out an online questionnaire and called the hotline again. I arrived Monday morning, April 21st surrounded by coverage of Pope Francis' passing, but also surrounded by over a hundred other possible jurors. 

We filled out another questionnaire, watched two introductory videos, and after sitting around for an hour we were all escorted upstairs to a 17th floor courtroom. We were introduced to the judge and sat through the basic details of a federal trial. At 10:45, after the first 16 potential jurors were chosen for interview, the rest of us were told to come back in an hour. I had back to the second floor commons, where I had an outstanding cheeseburger for an early lunch. When I went back up to the 17th floor at 11:40, I was notified that the trial had been cancelled, and to call the hotline again after 5. 

Lo and behold, I was summoned again. I arrived before 8:30 that Tuesday, sat around for an hour (again), and watch the same two videos as before. It was a smaller group this time, maybe 30 of us. Just after 9:30, we were escorted out to the hallway, then notified that we weren't needed at all today, and told to call the hotline again. At 5 PM that night, I was told I wasn't needed anymore. So much for lives in the balance; at least I only missed half a day of work.

If anything of value came from this experience, now I know where to find a good cheeseburger in the Loop.

Other notes:

+ This lapsed Catholic is relieved by the election of Robert Cardinal Provost to Pope Leo XIV. American Catholicism is steadily pivoting harder to the right, and Leo is both a Chicagoan *and* a progressive in the vein of Francis I. It's also a sideways rebuke of Trumpism, following liberal victories in (wary) US ally nations like Canada and Australia. 

+ Where are those low gas prices?

+ With that said... this is my 750th blog entry. I stopped writing weekly in late 2012, but if I had the time and energy and kept it up, I'd be well past 1,000 by now. On top of that, next month marks 20 years of blogging, both here and on CNet. I've always had a modest number of regular readers, several of whom have come and gone, but I'm thankful regardless that you still check in. 

Next time: my annual "mindset list."

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Random Notes, April 2025

Sorry for the delay, it's been a busy month. I apologize again for the radio silence:

+ President Trump falls in love with certain words. In his first term, it was "collusion" and "quid pro quo." Second time around, he sprinkles "tariff" in every other sentence as if he fully understands what that entails. On top of tanking the economy in real time, he's taxing allies and adversaries alike because they're "unfair" (another buzzword) and won't elaborate further. Then he took heat from within the GOP, his approval rating dipped, and Trump mostly backpedaled. This alleged freeze holds until early July, but who knows if this histrionic cycle continues.

+ The overreach is overflowing into other aspects of American life. A Maryland man was detained and sent to a maximum security facility in El Salvador for ambiguous reasons. Three children, one requiring medical attention, all technically anchor babies but US citizens regardless, were deported. This second non-consecutive term is only 100 days in, but I fear this won't be the cruelest thing this administration does.

+ The house was sold seven months, but my aunt's estate remains a headache. As the executor of the estate, I owe the state of Illinois $720 and the feds over $7,000. (My CPA said I can pay in installments.) This probably puts the kibosh on my summer travel plans. To my handful of regular readers, I'm open to summer job opportunities if you have leads.

Next Time: my jury duty experience.

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30 Teams, 30 Haiku: My 2025 Baseball Preview

Spring has sprung! Granted, the Cubs and Dodgers already kicked off the '25 regular season in Japan on St. Patrick's Day, but really everything begins in earnest on March 27th (which is still too early). I'm guardedly optimistic about my Royals after a surprise playoff run last year, but after only three playoff appearances since Reagan was president, any October ball is frosting on the cake. Regardless, I intend to catch a bunch of minor league games this year, both out of state and at 35th and Shields. 

*notes wild card

NL EAST

1. Braves. Keep Sale away from/the scissors; if healthy, look/out; depth is crucial.

2. Mets.* Juan puzzle piece from/contention; Kodai moments/few and far between.

3. Phillies. High-paid vets rack up/K's; Trea's summer fade hinders/consistent roster.

4. Nationals. Lack of impact guys/curbs youngsters' growth spurt; will Gore/ever be an ace?

5. Marlins. Another fishy/fire sale; Sandy, Weathers/squandered; sixty wins.

NL CENTRAL

1. Cubs. Talent on paper/hasn't done much; Tucker must/rake or Hoyer's toast.

2. Brewers. Good farm system fuels/Crew; lack of power, bullpen/questions still persist.

3. Reds. Tito's handmade crew/new faces takes burden off/Jeimer and Elly.

4. Pirates. Skenes leads sneaky-good/rotation; offense too soft/to really threaten.

5. Cardinals. Expect another/slog; transition to Chaim/won't start with "mazel!"

NL WEST

1. Dodgers. Too rich, too gifted/to fail; stud rotation can/withstand injuries.

2. Padres*. Ownership dispute/is slightly more compelling/than this good roster.

3. D-Backs*. Yet another west/team with great pitching; maybe/move to the Central?

4. Giants. No one is hitting/30 jacks here; another/pitching-first lineup.

5. Rockies. High altitude, low/bar to clear; the sole Victor/is pitcher Vodnik.

AL EAST

1. Yankees. Low ERA arms/cover Cole's absence; Volpe/breakout, overdue.

2. Orioles*. Potent young bats cool/off in the fall; with Burnes gone/who is the ace here?

3. Red Sox*. Bregman seizes hot/corner; Roman (Anthony)/empire rises.

4. Rays. Minor league park means/short fence dingers; too bad their/bats are Triple-A.

5. Blue Jays. Vlad Junior can't score/by himself; aged rotation/stopgap for rebuild.

AL CENTRAL

1. Guardians. Kwan, Jose set the/offense tone; if Williams/stays healthy, watch out!

2. Royals*. Witt, Pasquatch, Salvy/...then a drop-off. India/inked to upgrade bats.

3. Tigers. Can Gleyber adjust/to deep new digs? Young SPs/make these kitties purr.

4. Twins. On paper, righties/fear this lineup; injuries/give fans deja vu.

5. White Sox. Fifty wins is not/impossible; low Rate of/sudden turnaround.

AL WEST

1. Rangers. Texas-size IL/looks all clear (for now); will we/ever see deGrom?

2. Astros. More with less, again/good young arms hope Alvarez/stays healthy all year.

3. Mariners. J-Rod must find his/sea legs after down year; can/other bats Raleigh?

4. Angels. Another so-so/rotation abrades weary/Trout's move to DH.

5. Athletics. Unhomed pachyderms/Rooker, Butler will score runs/in... Sacramento?

AL MVP: Bobby Witt Jr, Royals

NL MVP: Shohei Ohtani, Dodgers

AL Cy Young: Tarik Skubal, Tigers

NL Cy Young: Zack Wheeler, Phillies

AL ROY: Roman Anthony, Red Sox

NL ROY: Roki Sasaki, Dodgers

First Manager Fired: Ron Washington, Angels

2025 World Series: Dodgers over Guardians in 5

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Punching Below the Beltway

The damage has been landing harder and faster than even I would have imagined. The hard-right pivot is offering short-term good but almost certainly foreshadows a lot of long-term bad. It’s like Reaganomics, but substantially more petty and regressive.  

It was a mixed blessing that I scored Bulls tickets on the night of Trump’s address to both houses of Congress. What I read and saw after was as interminable as I expected; the usual bluster, but also an exaggerated sense of accomplishment. The double standard of Rep. Al Green (D-TX) getting kicked out for interrupting when Lauren Boebert (R-CO) did the same thing during the Biden years without punishment. I hope progressives, liberals, and centrists alike follow Sen. Elissa Slotkin’s (D-MI) word and get involved for the sake of the country. 

On a lighter note, my next blog post will be my annual baseball haikus. We could all use the diversion. 

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Live, 800 Miles from New York...

This weekend, Saturday Night Live celebrates its 50th anniversary with a prime time spectacular. I’ve been watching SNL since grade school, and by my estimate I’ve seen 80% of the show’s nearly 1,000 episodes. By circumstance, however I’ll likely have to watch the Sunday event on streaming, a day or two after the live broadcast.

As some of my longtime readers know, I was the editor and forum moderator for SNL at TV.com from the site’s inception in mid-2005 to the bitter end in 2019. Before that, I was a regular commentor and contributor for SNL on TV.com’s precursor, TV Tome. My notoriety in SNL fandom still lingers two decades on, as I’m part of Facebook and Twitter/X message groups pertaining to the show. 

I can’t stand it when people complain that the show hasn’t been funny in such-and-such how many years, or since some cast member they liked left. Baby Boomers are especially vocal about this sort of thing; heck, my mother would all but pretend to forget that SNL post-1980 existed. In fact, the vaulted first five years aren’t as airtight as my parents’ generation would have you think; there’s several reasons why syndicated repeats are an hour long, not 90 minutes, but trimming out the fat is just one of them. The Aykroyd/Belushi/Radner years were more of a variety show, and some of the segments were flagrant time filler. 

In reality, SNL’s overall quality tends to go in cycles. For the first 25 years or so, the show would recycle itself almost in perfect five-year blocks. As the average cast has grown and individual cast members have opted to stay on the show longer, the cycle has slowed down. I’ve seen my fellow fans declare Kristen Wiig and Kate McKinnon (just two examples) as a breath of fresh air before gradually deeming them annoying, over-utilized, and predictable. When I interact in said FB and X groups, I tend to get jokey if only to contrast the negativity.  

I have friends and acquaintances that have worked on the show. My grade school classmate Megan Callahan-Shah is an eight-time Emmy nominee and two-time WGA winner for her work on Weekend Update. Two other writers, Gary Richardson and Claire Mullaney, were Chicago improv friends. I twice booked Molly Kearney in a variety show I produced. My improv duo was once introduced by Luke Null. I have made the acquaintance of several early 80s writers and cast members on social media, and Nate Herman is an old writing teacher.  

As of this writing, I have been to New York City just once, in July 2018. The 30 Rock tour was too irresistible to turn down; when the group landed on the 8th floor, I marveled at how cozy Studio 8H really is. The fish lens preceding the monologue really do boost the party atmosphere of a typical live show. Little wonder they almost moved the entire 50th anniversary to Radio City Music Hall.  

From 2003 to 2009 (and in truncated form until 2017) I wrote SNL reviews for TV Tome/TV.com; I stopped because of burnout. When I do get around to watching the live gala, I will kick back and enjoy as a fan. Some sketches will fly and others will crash, but that’s the nature of the beast.  

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Random Notes, January 2025

Here we go again. 

I want to say Trump doesn’t have the attention span or the stamina to get his entire agenda through. However, this time around he has more enablers around him. He’s already doing quite a bit of damage, and so far I’ve only seen a handful of executive orders be halted by legal action. It’s been a productive first two weeks, for most of the wrong reasons. At least the federal funding freeze was put on hold. The cabinet confirmation hearings have been cringy. The portly old man wanted panic, division, and confusion, and he got it.  
 

Other notes: 

+ The laptop I’ve been using for 6 ½ years crapped out right after New Year’s. Geek Squad diagnosed a heat maintenance issue, and suggested buying a new laptop. I had to use my sister’s Best Buy credit to purchase the new computer. A week later, I discovered that my new writing device wasn’t compatible with my 13-year-old printer. On a lark, I opened my old laptop... which was working fine, albeit slowly.

+ I don't have the latest version of Microsoft Office on my new computer, so I have to type this on Google Docs. I can't find my font, so this is probably how my blog will look from this point on.

+ Speaking of money... I inherited my parents’ health care plan, and my monthly premium with Blue Cross had increased to a point that I need to weigh my options. (It’s triple what it was in 2018, but that’s a whole other conversation.) I went on the ACA marketplace around Thanksgiving, and found a plan with BCBS that was similar to my old plan. I didn’t realize I was supposed to cancel my first plan after my second plan started, and after a long customer care call, I had to wait two weeks for a refund. At least I did this while Biden was still in charge.  

+ Do you want to donate to southern California wildfire relief? Click here.  

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These Last Four Years: Grading Another President

 In years past, I've tried to sum up outgoing presidential administrations in a letter grade. I did this with Bush 43, Obama, Trump's first stint, and now I tackle the impact of Joseph Robinette Biden Jr. 

In spite of what the right-wing media yells at you, the Biden administration was not a disaster. In the wake of Jimmy Carter's death, I see some parallels between the complicated, one-term legacy of both him and Biden. Both won a crowded, wide open Democratic primary (1976 and 2020), both succeeded a scandal-plagued Republican administration (Nixon/Ford and Trump), both inherited a wobbly economic situation, and both lost re-election to galvanizing Republicans (Reagan and Trump again).

Look at what Biden & Co. achieved in four years: a tighter, cohesive response to the pandemic; low unemployment; slightly higher incomes; job creation; more benefits for veterans and their families; reforming the military justice system; more energy transition spending. It's a decent list, but the early part of the Biden years were spent fixing the errors of the previous guy (which will almost certainly get reversed again). On the flip side, health care in the US is more expensive than ever, immigration and inflation were ineluctable concerns, and the administration's response to Ukraine and Gaza got mixed reviews to say the least. He didn't achieve lasting peace, but at least Israel and Hamas agreed to a nine-week cease-fire just under the wire.

As I said three years ago, Joe Biden frequently said the right thing and tried to do the right things, but he never came across as a leader on any major issue. In a time when Democrats are bringing sternly-worded letters to knife fights, he was the avatar of a party that insisted on approaching everything with decorum, staying steadfast and traditional, in a the face of the unrelenting, upending MAGA movement. His executive order to curb immigration last summer was probably too little, too late. He seemed to resist more than he fought. 

It's a cliche, but Biden's fatal flaw was his age. He was inaugurated as the oldest president ever, a record that will be broken for the third time in eight years on January 20th. His befuddled performance at the very first Summer presidential debate threw his party into a tailspin, which hit a crescendo when Biden was forced off the ticket with 3 1/2 months to go. Vice President Harris had a higher approval rating, and ran a solid campaign, but the Democratic ticket was the underdog the whole way, and the flip to Harris-Walz wasn't enough to close the gap. Pardon the over-simplification, but if Biden was ten years younger, one wonders what he and Harris would've accomplished in a second term. 

Joe Biden will leave office with an approval rating under 40%, joining a certain melon-shaped felon in that indignity. However, for his flaws I think we'll grow to appreciate the impact Biden made in the long-term. If his pal Barack Obama merited a B, then I'll give Scranton Joe a B-. God only knows what the next four years behold, though. 

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