Tuesday, May 12, 2009

Don't Be a Menace to Chávez Ravine While Injecting Your Juice in the Hood

Manny Ramirez's 50-game suspension for taking a fertility drug is just another nail in the coffin. I neither loved nor hated Man-Ram, yet I'm still disappointed that another baseball superstar resorted to these desperate measures. Sadly, it's gotten to the point that I would not oppose issuing lifetime bans to anyone that tests positive. I'm just tossing that idea into the air; a one-and-done rule would have a more profound effect than missing two months' worth of games, especially from a financial and reputational standpoint.

I'm not sure if there's anything else I can say about this, but my ISU buddy --and fellow radio industry gadfly-- Kyle Anderson has a far stronger opinion on the topic. This is from a rant that he posted on Facebook last week titled "My love of (pro) sports is over":

"Between Barry Bonds, Mark McGwire, Sammy Sosa, Jason Giambi, Alex Rodriguez, Manny Ramirez, Roger Clemens, and on and on, where do baseball fans finally draw a line? It's okay to love a game. I'll ALWAYS love the game of baseball. If you knew me when I was younger, you know it was one of the few things that made me happy. And I'll always love it on a little league and high school level...

But if you consider yourself a MLB fan, where does the line stop? How can you just keep watching episode after episode of SportsCenter without taking off your tinted glasses and realizing that we haven't even hit the tip of the iceberg to this? There are 103 other players who tested positive in 2003. And they can't all be Neifi Perez. If you're a Cubs fan and they win the World Series this year, but then 5 years down the road you find out that Derrek Lee, Aramis Ramirez, Carlos Zambrano, Rich Harden, and Alfonso Soriano were all juicing, would it be worth it? If you're a Cardinals fan my age and you realize that Albert Pujols led you to the only title of our lifetimes in 2006 while he was juicing, don't you at least get a sick feeling in your stomach?

So, to simplify it...fuck it. Fuck baseball, fuck the NFL, fuck the NBA, fuck 'em all. If they're not cheaters, they're money-hungry douchebags. Or, they're out cheating on their wives in every major league city (I had a friend tell me her sister slept with Greg Maddux when he was a Brave). Or they find another way to cheat the game by corking a bat or slapping a ball out of a player's hand sissy style."

Kyle might've given up, but I'm not there quite yet. There's still nothing quite like a day at the ballpark, and the cheaters will ultimately rot in hell. Plus, Zach Grienke has been a beast this year.

Other notes:

+ Speaking of steroids, what if you were ready to do another "I told you so" dance and virtually nobody showed up? Jose Canseco, you tell us.

+ This is the political cartoon of the year, hands down.

+ Congratulations to my old pal Joe Burry (aka Darth-Revan91) upon his graduation from high school on May 21st.

+ As a Chicagoan, I can't finish this blog without these two simple words:


  1. I don't think I have a breaking point for baseball like Kyle does. Tho I did for the Olympics a long, long time ago. If anything, the game is cleaner now than it has been in a long time, tho I'm not denying it still isn't juicing going on like Josh Hamilton said. From the PED articles I've read, cheating & doping has been going on since WWII in baseball. But I will say this about baseball players: keep your distance. Don't make them your heroes. Pro athletes aren't supposed to be idols. That's why I don't wear T-shirts or jerseys with player names on the back - I support the brand. I couldn't even tell you who my favorite White Sox player is. The last time I had one was Robin Ventura, and I turned on him. And my advice to Kyle: There will always be cheating, and there will always be assholes out there, in every sport, in every profession, in every school, firehouse, police station, church. Love the game, not the player.

    GO HAWKS!!!

  2. Its 45 [my dads age when I made the account], not 91 ;-).

    Great cartoon.

    A lot of athletes don't deserve to be idols for anyone. But I do have 2 Jerseys [Kurt Warner and Larry Fitzgerald], and I think that they are classy people that kids can look up to [Anquan Boldin used to be like that, but not anymore after how Rosenhaus got him to whine about his contract] and there are a few other players in the NFL and other sports that you can look up to.

    But Mark is right, I have gotten into Football more last year, and I just enjoy watching the game. But if the Teams I like do well, its even better.

  3. I couldn't have said it better, Mark.

    Sorry about the number gaffe, Joe. I should know these things, I'm in traffic and billing... ;-)

  4. It isn't that bad of a gaffe, I was banned two years ago....