My Fourth Annual Fantasy Emmy Ballot

Listed below is my 4th Annual Fantasy Emmy Ballot. For the uninitiated, I write this ballot for two reasons- to acknowledge who I thought had the best performances of the year, but also to compare it to actual Emmy ballot, which is often completely out of touch with what the press has to say. I am retaining my unusual strategy from last year; of the five nominees in each category, I chose four people that I would like to see nominated and one that the Emmy committee will ostensively choose that isn't quite as deserving. Some of them will be easier to figure out than others. Here goes:

Outstanding Animated Program, Less Than One Hour: "American Dad," "King of the Hill," "The Simpsons," "South Park," and "Spongebob Squarepants."

Best Writing for a Comedy/Music/Variety Series: "Late Show with David Letterman," "Real Time with Bill Maher," "Saturday Night Live," "The Colbert Report," and "The Daily Show with Jon Stewart."

Best Comedy/Music/Variety Series: "Jimmy Kimmel Live," "Late Show with David Letterman," "The Colbert Report," "The Daily Show with Jon Stewart," and "Tracey Ullman's State of the Union."

Best Supporting Actress, Drama: Candice Bergen, Boston Legal; Rachel Griffiths, Brothers & Sisters; Katherine Heigl, Grey's Anatomy; January Jones, Mad Men; and Dianne Weist, In Treatment.

Best Supporting Actress, Comedy: Jenna Fischer, The Office; Jane Krakowski, 30 Rock; Jaime Pressly, My Name Is Earl; Holland Taylor, Two and a Half Men; and Vanessa Williams, Ugly Betty.

Best Supporting Actor, Drama: Ted Danson, Damages; Michael Emerson, Lost; William Hurt, Damages; T.R. Knight, Grey's Anatomy; and John Slattery, Mad Men.

Best Supporting Actor, Comedy: Jon Cryer, Two and a Half Men; Neil Patrick Harris, How I Met Your Mother; Jack McBrayer, 30 Rock; Jeremy Piven, Entourage; and Rainn Wilson, The Office.

Best Actress in a Drama Series: Glenn Close, Damages; Sally Field, Brothers & Sisters; Mariska Hargitay, Law & Order: Special Victims Unit; Holly Hunter, Saving Grace; and Kyra Sedgwick, The Closer.

Best Actress in a Comedy Series: Christina Applegate, Samantha Who?; America Ferrera, Ugly Betty; Tina Fey, 30 Rock; Julia Louis-Dreyfus, The New Adventures of Old Christine; and Mary Louise Parker, Weeds.

Best Actor in a Drama Series: Gabriel Byrne, In Treatment; Bryan Cranston, Breaking Bad; Jon Hamm, Mad Men; Denis Leary, Rescue Me; and Kiefer Sutherland, 24.

Best Actor in a Comedy Series: Alec Baldwin, 30 Rock; Steve Carell, The Office; Jason Lee, My Name Is Earl; Jim Parsons, The Big Bang Theory; and Charlie Sheen, Two and a Half Men.

Best Drama Series: "24," "Damages," "In Treatment," "Lost," "Mad Men."

Best Comedy Series: "30 Rock," "The Big Bang Theory," "Entourage," "How I Met Your Mother," "The Office."

Make sure to print out this ballot, than give me the nth degree when they announce the nominations in July and I will likely get half of these wrong. Enjoy!

Other Notes:

+ Sunday was student orientation at Second City, but my journey to the theater was a bit of a challenge. I woke up at quarter to 6 because trains to the city only run every other hour on Sundays. I arrived at Chicago Union Station at 7:40AM, walked to a nearby 7/11 to grab some coffee, than hiked five blocks east on West Lake St. to get onto the "El" line that took me to the Old Town neighborhood. After getting off at Sedgwick Ave. I walked another four blocks to arrive at the front entrance of Second City... and somehow I was still 45 minutes early. I can't believe this will be my commute for eight of the next nine weeks.

+ As for orientation itself- for about forty minutes, I listened to a middle-aged lady (and a 20-year veteran of SC) explain class guidelines and what to expect in the improv, acting, and writing courses. Apparently, there's no actual performing until you're a Level C; I'm only at Level A, but I'm deliberately taking the easiest course to ease myself in. The lady also mentioned how cool it was to have Stephen Colbert as a classmate in the early '90s and briefly alluded to having Tina Fey as a past student... you know, for the sake of bragging.

+ Last week, I was playing the uncensored version of the SNL Digital Short "Mother Lovers" on my laptop sans headphones. My mother walked into the room just as Andy and Justin said "we should fuck each other's mothers," she gave me a weird look, said "okay..." than walked towards the living room.

+ Paris Hilton stated in a recent interview that she's not as sexually experienced as the media perceives her, stating that she's only been with "a couple of guys." Of course, she didn't specify if she was with these men over the course of the last couple of years, weeks, or hours.

+ It's mid-May and Kansas City is only one game out of first place? This must be the year...