Which CFL Team Are You?

Last week, the 2016 Canadian Football League season began. For many Americans, the CFL is somewhere between a quirky parallel world and a bizarre afterthought. To others, it’s a desperate stopgap when their baseball team is foundering and there’s no other team sports to watch. I’m not a die-hard CFL fan per se, but if there’s a game on TV (thanks, ESPN!) I’ll tune in.

If you are among the minority of NFL fans that need a desperate pigskin fix, you might be surprised to know that the CFL draws some interesting parallels.

WEST DIVISION
BC Lions: If any CFL team adopted and embraced the over-hyped “west coast offense” of the 1980s, look no further than Vancouver. The Lions are also a team that was very good in the 2000s but are now in rebuilding mode. Compares to: 49ers, Seahawks, Rams, Chargers
Calgary Stampeders: They have a stifling pass-rush defense, but their run-to-set-up-the-pass offense doesn’t really compare to anyone in particular. At the same time, they’ve had a lot of alumni that used to play for Bears, Vikings, and Chiefs’ secondary and practice squads.
Edmonton Eskimos: The offense finally clicked last year, giving the Esks their first title in over a decade. They don’t seem to have a lot of personality, though. Compares to: Colts, Panthers, Broncos
Saskatchewan Roughriders: The green and silver play in Regina, arguably the most rural and socially conservative city in Canada. Deep south football fans might relate to that. They’re also the only major sports team in the entire province. Compares to: Titans, Bucs, Falcons, Saints
Winnipeg Blue Bombers: At 22 seasons and counting, the Bombers have the longest Grey Cup drought in the league. Their fans are loyal, if not grumpy and self-deprecating. Compares to: Jets, Cardinals, Lions, Bills

EAST DIVISION
Hamilton Tiger-Cats: These longtime also-rans lost the Grey Cup in 2013 and 2014, so hope springs eternal. Historically a bridesmaid, rarely a bride. They have the same colors as the Steelers, and Hamilton is also a steel town, but they also compare to the Bengals, Dolphins, and Redskins.
Montreal Alouettes: The most dominant team of the past decade or so might mesh well with New England football fans, but Larks fans don’t treat this as a religious experience. Plus, the core of those championship teams is starting to age. Compares to: Eagles, Ravens, Giants
Ottawa Redblacks: There is a history of football in Canada’s capital city, but it came to a halt when the Renegades folded in the mid-2000s. An expansion team with the same colors (but not the same name) emerged in 2013, going through most of the same growing pains new franchises go through. Compares to: Jaguars, Browns, Texans, Raiders
Toronto Argonauts: The team with a tradition of winning, and the team everyone else in the league hates. “They don’t rebuild, they reload.” Enough said. Compares to: Packers, Patriots, Cowboys

Happy Canada Day!

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With Glowing Hearts, We See Thee Rise...

After nearly a decade of conservative rule, Canada finally got the "hope and change" memo. The dramatic takeover by the Labour Party following the October 19th election was a long time coming; the conservative stronghold in flyover provinces like Manitoba and Alberta was perceived as too out of touch with the rest of the country. No one was more alienated by the status quo than the Maritimes, who already felt marginalized and because of federal budget cuts, even more so. As a result, the minority party rode the wave of dissatisfaction and garnered 184 seats --er, "ridings"-- for a new majority government.

Amidst the hoopla was the birth of the Great White North's first political dynasty. Justin Trudeau, son of progressive demigod Pierre Trudeau and actress/bon vivant Margaret Trudeau, is the face of modern liberal Canadian politics and the youngest prime minister in recent memory. (Only right-wing placeholder Joe Clark was younger.) In his victory speech, Trudeau the Younger said: "We beat fear with hope, we beat cynicism with hard work. We beat negative, divisive politics with a positive vision that brings Canadians together." If that's not from the Obama 2008 playbook, I don't know what is.

So what happens to our northerly neighbor now? Even though Canada is perceived as generally being more liberal than the US, politically they're just as polarized as we are. Outgoing Prime Minister Stephen Harper kept a steady hand for nine years, his greatest achievement being his navigation of the Canadian economy after the worldwide crisis of late 2008/early 2009. Unfortunately, Harper overstayed his welcome --scandals dogged his political party, and he was utterly feckless with commodity markets-- and a new voice was needed. Harper was painted as paranoid and xenophobic (not inaccurate) in the wake of a terrorist attack in Ottawa, but to call him a tyrant was a bit much. Here's hoping the young, optimistic Mr. Trudeau will offer more levelheaded leadership.

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