Dispatches from Arm's Length, Part 2

Since Saturday, March 21st Chicago has been under a "shelter in place" order. Not enough Chicagoans were taking this seriously, so on the 26th, Mayor Lightfoot ordered all the beaches and parks closed. The weather was gorgeous on the 25th, but necessity took priority over everything else. There's a pandemic, and this mayor is not here for populist pandering.

The most optimistic projections are getting crushed. President Trump ignored advisers and medical experts alike, and projected everything reopening by April 12th. In spite of the Christian conservatives that Trump pandered to in 2015-16 (and still does) businesses aren't resuming normal operations by Easter. The new projection, if all goes well, is closer to April 30th.

As I mentioned before, I am predominantly a substitute teacher. When the four districts I work for all shuttered their schools on March 13th, I had to accept the reality that I would be mostly out of work until their projected date, April 6th. It was a domino effect, each local district one by one making an announcement, until Governor Pritzker more or less forced an extended shutdown, all in a matter of hours. I added the Postmates app on top of driving for Lyft, my summer job. Alas, ride-sharing and food delivery have both gone bone dry, and I wonder if sitting on my car waiting for nothing is worth risking my health.

I see people on social media lose track of the day of the week, as whatever signifies their routine (school, church, etc.) goes on the wayside. I have no problem distinguishing Tuesday from Wednesday, but time is different matter. I'm having a hard time getting out of bed; I've been up until 2 most nights and walking up between 11 and noon. My normal idea of "sleeping in" is more like 9:45, maybe 10 o'clock. There's always things to do. Now I can't find the motivation...

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My Last Post of 2018

I wanted this last blog post of 2018 to be reflective, but I didn't to repeat myself or rehash something from my previous 35 posts from this year. Instead, I'll share an anecdote that sums up my year:

I had been Lyft driving for a couple of weeks. I became a licensed Lyft driver in August 2017, but really hadn't ride-shared in earnest until June of this year. I was hovering around downtown Naperville around 11pm, when I picked up a very drunk man at an upscale bar. He stumbled into the car, barely said a word, and whatever he did say was slurred. It was a 30-minute ride from Naperville to Montgomery, and I was genuinely concerned that he was going to vomit in my back seat.

At the end of this decidedly quiet ride, the passenger asked me to drop him off in front of the house rather than in the driveway. The house was in the middle of a gorgeous subdivision that couldn't have been more than a decade old. He mumbled "thank you," then walked out of the car and into the night. I drove half a block up, then parked to turn off my app and check messages. Just as I was about to drive out of the subdivision, the passenger was walking down the sidewalk. As I made a left, he came within inches of my car. My best guess is, he tried to walk of his stupor, but he was still pretty wasted. I'm relieved that I didn't hit him.

Where others struggled, I had a so-so 2018. I checked off some bucket list items, but I didn't make that many inroads as far as professional pursuits go. (Thanks, writer's block.) Onward and upward to 2019.

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Random Notes, October 2017

My mind is going a mile a minute:

+ God bless Bob Corker. The longtime Republican U.S. senator, who announced he will not seek reelection in 2018, suggested on Twitter that the Trump White House is spiraling out of control. On top of that, Corker basically implied what most had suspected: that President Trump has hijacked the GOP. Without nothing at stake, Corker is breaking rank and cheerfully letting loose, siding with the narrow majority of Americans that think Trump is too incompetent for office.

So what is at stake for the GOP? Is it time to panic? On one hand, they risk alienating an entire generation of potential voters. Entire demographics and voting blocks could vote Democratic by default. On the other, Republican candidates typically benefit from elections with low turnout (like, say, midterm elections). In short, 2018 is still up for grabs.

+ Since late August, I've been a certified Lyft driver. I haven't taken my first ride yet; the opportunity hasn't presented itself yet.

+ I'm proud to announce that after nearly two years of fits and starts, and I am premiering my very first solo sketch show. "Handsome Under Certain Lighting" opens at the One Group Mind Comedy Clubhouse in Wicker Park on Thursday, November 9th. You can find ticket info here.

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