Through a Freshman's Eyes, WMD Edition

Welcome to the second COVID graduation season! The class of 2021 spent a whopping one-third of their high school careers either on Zoom or doing hybrid learning, unthinkable technology 18 short years ago. They were born a year or so after the 9/11 attacks, when the US was fighting one ground war and about to start another. Like the class of '20 before them, their entire lives have been witness to all the trials and tribulations of the 21st century.

Since I wrote last year's list, the Beloit College/Marist College mindset list was adjusted for a more realistic approach to how this year's incoming college freshmen will see the world. I will continue undaunted to write mine the traditional way. 

With that said, if you graduated high school this year...

...Saddam Hussein has never been President of Iraq.

...Tayyip Erdogan has always been leader of Turkey.

...it has always been possible for the US to start a war under questionable circumstances.

...Slovakia has always been part of the European Union.

...a NASA manned space shuttle has never exploded.

...Beyonce has always been best known as a solo artist.

...your mental image of Johnny Depp has always been of an eccentric pirate.

...there has always been Wifi in space (and on Earth, I guess).

...MySpace has always been around, even though you barely remember when it was relevant.

...cell phones have always had cameras.

...Toyota has always made hybrid automobiles.

...there has never been any noteworthy national landmarks in New Hampshire.

...the Oakland (now Las Vegas) Raiders have never played in a Super Bowl.

...there have always been 32 teams and eight four-team divisions in the NFL.

...Josh McCown has always played in the NFL.

...Udonis Haslem has always been in the NBA (yes, really).

...Michael Jordan has never been in the NBA.

...Jimmy Kimmel has always hosted a talk show on ABC.

...Bill Maher has always hosted a talk show on HBO.

...Simon Cowell has always been a judge on an American reality competition show.

...Kenan Thompson has always been a cast member on Saturday Night Live.

...Bob Hope, Mister Rogers, Katherine Hepburn, Johnny Unitas, Kim Hunter, Bruce Paltrow, Aileen Wuornos, Teresa Graves, Ray Conniff, Stephen Ambrose, Sir Richard Harris, Tom Dowd, Jam Master Jay, James Coburn, Billie Bird, Roone Arledge, Lucy Grealy, Joe Strummer, Herb Ritts, George Roy Hill, Sydney Omarr, Maurice Pialat, Maurice Gibb, Richard Crenna, Al Hirschfeld, Bill Mauldin, Nell Carter, Lana Clarkson, Dolly the cloned sheep, Sis Daley, Howie Epstein, Horst Buchholz, Michael Jeter, Edwin Starr, Little Eva, Nina Simone, "Miss Elizabeth" Hulette, Noel Redding, Dave DeBusschere, Robert Stack, Sloan Wilson, Mickie Most, Freddie Blassie, David Brinkley, Gregory Peck, Hume Cronyn, Asa Baber, Larry Doby, Roger Neilson, Leon Uris, Lester Maddox, Strom Thurmond, Joan Lowery Nixon, Buddy Hackett, Herbie Mann, Barry White, Buddy Ebsen, Celia Cruz, Uday Hussein, Qusay Hussein, Gregory Hines, Herb Brooks, Idi Amin, and Charles Bronson have always been dead.

(677)

Back to the Sandbox

Iraq has become a greater Pandora's Box than anyone could have possibly imagined. Even though there was a worldwide consensus 12 years ago that Saddam Hussein must be ousted, the execution (in the broader sense) was botched, and nearly every attempt to remedy the situation has either stagnated or failed. There were reports of turmoil and potential terrorist activity after we pulled out four years ago, and now the region is on the cusp of chaos again. When even Glenn Beck is admitting that "the liberals" were right about not invading, you know the prospect of another invasion is universally unpopular. Another full-scale operation is as financially unfeasible as it is morally ambiguous. There lies the dilemma: ISIS must be quashed, but for once we might have to defer to someone else.

Other notes:

+ Speaking of war, while I don't agree with the methods that were used to rescue Bowe Bergdahl, there is no justifable reason to leave any American troops behind. The negotiation was not only five years in the making, but it was also a last resort. If Bergdahl is the deserter and space cadet that the media makes him out to be, than as a soldier he has the right to some type of trial or military tribunal.

+ Talk about perfect timing-- just as the school year ends, I find another temp job. To sweeten the pot, the job is not only within Chicago city limits but it's essentially temp-to-hire.

+ The Royals were in first place this late in the season for the first time in 11 years. As of this writing, they were on their first 10-game winning streak in 20 years... followed by a four-game schneid. Either way, you better believe I'm grinning from ear to ear.

(447)

Thumbs on the Pulse

In the mid-to-late 1990s, if the Allard family was at home for dinner on a Saturday night, I made sure we watched "Siskel & Ebert." Under the half-hearted protest of my bored younger sister, I habitually watched these two Chicago-bred film critics debate the merits of new movies. I even remember hearing of Gene Siskel's passing less than 30 minutes before their show aired (the show was taped days earlier; Tom Shales filled in). The show soldiered on for another seven or eight years, first with a rotation of other critics --Michael Wilmington, Siskel's successor at the Chicago Tribune, appeared to be drunk in his sole TV appearance-- than with Ebert's Sun-Times cohort Richard Roeper.

Where Siskel and Ebert were rivals that did their best to be as professional as possible on-screen, Roeper and Ebert had more of a mentor/mentee relationship. When Ebert took a medical leave of absence in mid-2006, the same sick leave that resulted in the removal of his jaw, vocal cords, and ability to eat and drink, Roeper was joined by a second parade of guest movie critics. The show languished without Roger, I grew too busy to watch, and eventually Roeper and a still-rehabing Ebert were squeezed out by their own producers. Roeper continues to post clips of his reviews online, and Ebert (with a computerized voice) tried to relaunch his show on PBS, but it wasn't the same. In spite of his physical deformities, Ebert maintained a strong presence in social media, arguing about cinema and current events with fans around the world.

I never had the opportunity to meet Roger Ebert, but I considered him an influence in my writing. If we were ever in the same room I would have shrieked like a fanboy, but now that time has come and gone. My pipe dream of reviewing movies for a living didn't totally pan out, but Ebert made writing a compelling career.  Even if film criticism belongs in its own category, Ebert was a quinessentially Chicagoan writer in the mold of Nelson Algren, Saul Bellow, and Studs Terkel. He was literate and verbose but never high-strung or patronizing; he was witty without being mean-spirited; he deconstructed art films and popcorn flicks with equal aplomb. Roger Ebert was the face and spirit of modern film criticism and there will never be another one like him.

Other notes:

+ The ten-year anniversary of Operation Enduring Freedom went by without much fanfare. In all likelihood, the mere mention of the invasion of Iraq would have reopened old wounds. The debate as to whether invading was justified, long dormant, would rise again as shrill as it was in 2003. I can understand why some people minced words.

I remember the invasion vividly for two reasons. It was the first "cause" that I ever got myself caught up in. Second, it was the first American war to be captured by a 24-hour news cycle gone amok, the three-headed hydra of CNN, MSNBC, and Fox News running phrases like "Breaking News" and "Alert" into the ground.

One decade on, the pros and cons of Operation Enduring Freedom nearly negate each other.  The expense of the war contributed to the financial situation that cripples our country right now, and even though we successfully removed Saddam Hussein from power, the "Arab Spring" of 2011 suggested that his downfall could've happened more organically. On the other hand, every war has its casualties, and I am convinced our troops did not die in vain; they fought with unparagoned honor and grace.

Yeah, Yeah, Yeah: Another Topical Rant

Can we officially call Operation Odyssey Dawn a war? I'm not sure. Did the US have to intervene? Yes. President Obama's address to the nation two weeks ago was both articulate and somewhat befuddling, but supporting and arming the Libyan rebels was the right thing to do. The man I recently dubbed "bizarro Reagan" has an opportunity to pounce on what ol' Dutch could never do: topple Moammar Ghadafi. With American armed forces slowly passing the baton to NATO, I hope this joint effort brings down a tyrant that should've been removed from power decades ago. My only concern mirrors the recent revolutions in Egypt and Tunisia: will the end of totalitarian rule bring democracy to a torn nation, or create a radicalized, Al Qaida-type power vacuum?

This is where one might ask when I turned into a war liberal. I assure you that I have tried to be as objective as possible about post-WTC American combat operations. I believe invading Afghanistan was more than justified and sending troops to Libya equally so. As happy as the Iraq people were to be liberated from the Hussein regime eight years ago, Operation Enduring Freedom was organized in haste, without strategy, and largely under false pretense. The only mutual thread between Libya and Iraq is the theme of unfinished business.

Of course, I say this just as President Obama's reelection bid has officially launched. It's an understatement to point out what a difference four years make: the optimistic outsider that announced his candidacy on the Illinois state capital steps in February 2007 is now the embattled center of the American political spectrum. I won't ignore or downplay Obama's vulnerability at this moment in time, though his chances at a second term ultimately falls upon who runs against him. As Ronald Reagan proved in 1984 and Bill Clinton reinforced in 1996, a challenger that trips upon himself proves quite beneficial to the incumbent.

Of the small army of Republican hopefuls, no potential candidate has garnered as much attention --both deliberately and unintentional-- than former Speaker Newt Gingrich. Lest we forget that this is man who orchestrated the infamous 1995-96 government shutdowns and handed divorce papers to his cuckholded wife in the middle of a chemo session. For Gingrich's lack of leadership skills and questionable moral aptitude, it's scary to think he's still a serious contender. The Tea Party boosters that rocked the 2010 midterms have more say in the GOP's direction than ever, and they seem willing to overlook Gingrich's spotty track record and bet all their chips on the retired, erratic Georgia congressman. In spite of a complete lack of similar interests, I will gladly take Mitt Romney or Tim Pawlenty over Newt. If the Republican Party's power circle still has a sliver of sanity, they will nominate someone --and I mean anyone-- over Gingrich.