My 21st Annual Thanks/No Thanks List

When I was still writing this blog on a weekly basis, sometimes I would grasp at straws to find something to discuss. (My oldest blog entries are still on GameSpot, BTW. It's an uneven read.) Late in November 2005, almost six months into my weekly dispatches, I wrote two succinct lists expressing what I was thankful for (or not so much) ahead of Turkey Day. This is my 21st annual such list. 

Thanks: I don't have satellite radio in my new car anymore, so outside of commercial radio I listen to a fair amount of WLUW 88.7 FM, the Loyola University Chicago student-run station. In spite of losing SiriusXM, I'm thankful regardless for a new-ish car, a 2021 Hyundai Accent, that is running pretty well so far. I'm thankful sub work has been steady, even though I've seen an uptick in behavior issues so far this year. I'm also grateful that my roommate of 14 months is good with cats.

No Thanks: general cowardice and ambivalence about pedophilia, especially at the national level. Closer to home, I was disappointed to hear that Bob Stroud's "Rock n' Roll Roots," my traditional Sunday morning listen, is moving to a somewhat inaccessible streaming platform starting in December. The show has been on and off Chicago radio since 1980, and I first found it around 1998. However, WDRV-FM is steadily becoming what 97.9 FM The Loop used to be, they're phasing out ol' Bob as well as 60s/70s rock that isn't necessarily hard rock. Also, inflation and shrinkflation are both pains in the ass.

Happy Turkey Day!

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Promotion Commotion, Ten Years Later

I'm taking a breather from essaying about life in quarantine to discuss something personal:

I don't normally broadcast this out of fear of jinxing myself, but I had a job interview in Schaumburg on Thursday. I thought it was going to be a phone interview, but I was asked to drive out for a socially distanced sitdown. (Yes, it's essential work, and I can't elaborate further.) It occurred to me while driving out of the city that not only was my interview one town over from my old office, it was on the 10th anniversary of when I was replaced.

Four months ago on Facebook, I wrote a lengthy post comparing and contrasting where I was in 2010 as we approached the new decade. I discussed my last radio gig, but not what led up to losing my job. To sum up another long post, I had my EOE-obligated job interview on February 8th, then spent the next 11 weeks waiting for a decision that was supposed to take 14 days. I discovered by accident that at least two rounds of interviews were held without my knowledge. During my last week in the office, I noticed people were strangely avoiding me, and Administrative Professionals Day came and went without a mention. I was the receptionist, for chrissakes.

On April 30th, I was summoned to the business manager's office. It was about 90 minutes before the office closed for the weekend. The manager informed me that after some deliberation, it had come down to me and another candidate... and they went with the other candidate. This business manager, someone who made absolutely no effort to get to know me in the time we shared an office space, watched disdainfully as I clean out my desk. The traffic/billing manager --my actual boss-- escorted me out to the parking garage while fighting back tears.

The timing was awkward, to say the least. I had my Level E (graduation) show at Second City the next day, and I had mentioned that to people in the office. None of my now-former co-workers showed up, and even though the show went okay, I felt numb. The next day, after my last training center class, some of us went out for drinks across the street. I had a train to catch, so I only stuck around for a half-hour. Before I left, I said thank you and farewell to my classmates before noticing that my voice was quivering. I noticed then and there that I was waking up the next morning to nothing. As I walked from Corcoran's Bar to Sedgwick Brown Line, it was my turn to fight back the tears.

That was what was on my mind after my job interview on Thursday. Inexplicably, one decade and another ratings quarter on the outside looking in, the management at my old station hasn't changed. A number of other people, including my old direct superior were forced out for myriad reasons. Almost everyone I've been in touch with had comtempt for the general manager, but especially that business manager. The corporate office in Camarillo, CA couldn't care less who's in charge as long as the Chicago branch is turning a profit. Maybe its more symptomatic of commercial radio in general, but the cutting of corners to stay in the black is absurd. Six different people have come and gone in my former position, no one lasting more than 2 1/2 years.

As time has marched on, I've only grown more embarrassed to have ever worked for Salem Media Group. It's just another outlet for right-wing misinformation, something I barely tolerated in the late 2000s that I can't bring myself to listen to now. The same people that are encouraging armed protests against stay-at-home orders, that insinuate Jewish elected officials are somehow Nazis, are stirring outrage over temporary inconveniences, that gloss over President Trump's failures. They are (albeit indirectly) enablers of unnecessary chaos, gaslighters of the highest order.

So, while I was in the neighborhood, I took a selfie of myself flipping the bird at my former office. I figured it was the least I could do.

Clearly, I'm not ready to forgive. I don't know if I ever will be. I'm a bit more pragmatic than I was 10 years ago. I did everything I could to not burn bridges, but things have grown too dire and too polarized. My work situation is imperfect (for now) but I've made peace with the fact that I'll probably never work in radio again. I'm too out of the loop. Someday, I hope to write a book about my time in radio, with a plot structure not unlike "Gulliver's Travels." My two years at Salem were going to be the last chapter of the book. Unlike Swift, I'm grasping to find any kind of happy ending.

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25 More Facts About Myself

Earlier this month, the big fad on Facebook was posting pictures of yourself from at least 10 years and now. I'm not totally sure why its trending; for me, its a stark reminder that I'm aging out of a key commercial demographic.

The big trend in January 2009, however was writing 25 random things, facts, habits or goals about yourself. If you were on FB ten years ago, admit it: you almost certainly wrote a list. Like the "2008 to 2018" thing, I took a facetious approach. Unlike that fad, I cut and pasted the rules, then encouraged who I considered my top friends at the time to share theirs. I'm in a much different place than I was a decade ago, and I'm sharing this almost like an open self-evaluation. (TL:DR, because that's how I roll.) Also, forgive me if I'm repeating myself or sharing you were well aware of.

1. I still blog.
2. My high school graduating class had a disproportionate number of twins.
3. I have never eaten a peanut butter and jelly sandwich, and even though I feasibly could with a epipen handy, I have no aspiration to do so. The mere smell of peanuts make me queasy.
4. When I substitute teach, I go out of my way to make sure students neither know nor figure out my first name, mostly for privacy. A group of eighth graders at one school where I sub "exposed" me in October 2016; they Googled my name and found some short films I made with Brandon Reich in 2012-13. Even though its an open secret, I still white out Stuart on the name tag I have to print out every morning.
5. I've been using the same email accounts since 2002-03. Its not that I don't want a personal Gmail so much as its a privacy thing. Also, having an active AOL account in the late 2010s is a fun conversation piece.
6. I once went over a decade without setting foot on an airplane. I'm not proud to admit that; I love to travel, but I went through a prolonged period where I did not have the time or money to do so.
7. I put a commodity on communication. For all my social awkwardness, I appreciate directness, transparency, and honesty.
8. My parents died 16 months apart.
9. When my father died, I was 31 years old. My grandfather died when my dad was 31. My grandfather was also 31 when *his* father died.
10. I have next to no immediate family left. I have my sister, my aunt, and some cousins and that's pretty much it.
11. It took me seven tries to get into Level 1 of the Second City Conservatory program, another seven tries to get into Level 3 (and finish the program). Most of the people I auditioned with that first time graduated more than two years before I did.
12. Partially because of me, Second City now caps the number of times you can audition for the Conservatory program. To anyone reading this that was told not to come back after their third Level 1 audition, I apologize.
13. I have a love-hate relationship with stand-up comedy, and I feel far more comfortable writing comedy and doing improv.
14. Prior to launching Stu News, I used to sporadically post topical jokes as status updates. Since the launch, I've written over 1,600 different jokes, or roughly six a week for 5 1/2 years.
15. Speaking of stand-up, in June 2008 I did an open mic at a venue in the west Chicago suburbs. My five-minute set went okay, but the owner/open mic host and his staff were very rude. I attempted to book a slot about a month later, and again a month after that, but my voice mails was never returned. This turned me off from doing stand-up for about 3 1/2 years.
16. The first woman I was ever in a relationship with was an unabashed bigot, who was prone to bullying and gaslighting. I tolerated it for far longer than I ever should have. It was a relationship that I regret being in, as well as a brutal learning experience.
17. My two years at WZND (the college radio station at Illinois State University) were the first time I ever felt like I was part of a team. Even though its perfectly natural for people to grow apart, I still mourn some of the friendships that disintegrated since I graduated.
18. After my career in the radio industry came to a sudden halt in April 2010, I have spent the better part of a decade alternating between substitute teaching and temp jobs.
19. I quit my longest-lasting temp job (about three years) under exaggerated pretenses. I informed the company and my temp agency that I had landed a long-term substitute teaching gig. While it was my intention to sub, my real reason for quitting was that I could no longer tolerate my obnoxious, borderline incompetent manager, and my complaints fell on deaf ears.
20. My *shortest* temp job lasted about an hour. I was assigned by the same agency to do some clerical work for a hotel manager. He had broken off from a national chain, was trying to create his own independent hotel "experience," and had absolutely no idea what he was doing. When I first walked into his office, he was not prepared for me, so he asked me to shuffle some papers around "so the piles look neat." After 15 minutes, I mostly sat there waiting for further instructions. I was told I could go home, but after I told the agency how my morning went, I was pulled from the assignment.
21. I don't give much credence to most conspiracy theories, especially if there's very little hard evidence, but...
22. ...I am just about convinced that John Travolta killed his son.
23. My father's side of the family is from the Kansas City metro area, mostly around Overland Park and Lee's Summit. I more or less became a Royals fan by osmosis.
24. I collect sports autographs, with an emphasis on signed cards. I received my first autographed card in the mail in December 1997 (future Hockey HOFer Ron Francis) and I still do autograph requests by mail from time to time.
25. Adding onto #17, I struggled to make friends and connect with people growing up. If you're reading this, I appreciate having you in my life, and that you tolerate my eccentricities. Additionally, thank you for reading.

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Flood Lights: One Year Later

The end of May offers two milestones for me, one slight and one substantial, yet both unfortunate. This past May 19th would have been my 10th anniversary at Salem Communications, an experience that I looked back on in 2011 and 2015. I acknowledged the milestone by texting my old boss (see image below) and briefly looking back at the bullet that I dodged. I am still in regular contact with two other people from that office. Nearly everyone else can stay in the past.

My mother has been dead for one year. It has a mercurial, up and down year of transition for my sister and I, but we move forward. It seems oddly fitting that I would spend this somber anniversary in Omaha, Nebraska, where I found out my mother had passed. I take solace in the fact that I had fun at the improv festival, just as my mother would have wished during last year's trip. I reconnected with a high school friend, while establishing new professional relationships with other improvisers. My sister stayed at home, taking care of the garden that my mother used to spend countless hot afternoons. Even though she visited my mother's grave on Sunday, neither of us felt inclined to dwell.

My relationship with my mother could be contentious at times, but I think about her almost daily. I tried to be as supportive and considerate as possible in those last few years, but I bristled at times as she grew increasingly needy and fragile. Her love was unconditional and unwavering --as any mom should be-- even when it felt smothering and overprotective. Even though my mother was front and center with taking care of my grandmother, there were often instances in the last five years or so where my sister had to juggle Grandma and both of our ill parents. When mom passed last May 27th, it was like a weird burden had been taken off our shoulders. Her parting gift was letting my sister and I move on.

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Next Week: my 13th annual fantasy Emmy ballot.

Radio Dazed

From 1999 to 2010, I worked at a radio station in some capacity. This ultimately fruitless pursuit of a life's dream could be broken down into four chapters. Chapter one would be my 3 1/2 years with WDGC-FM, my high school station. Chapter two (and to some extent, the epilogue) took place at 90.9 FM WDCB, my first paying job and as well as my first taste of professional radio. The final chapter was my two tumultuous years at Salem Communications' Chicago branch. The third chapter, however was relatively short but carried the longest-term consequences.

I was persuaded into going to community college after graduating high school. I was dead set upon attending North Central College in nearby Naperville, but the cost of tuition for a four-year private school forced my hand. As I was wrapping up my associates degree, I did some research on other schools, partially out of curiosity. I discovered that not only did Illinois State University's radio station (and school of communications) offer a higher quality program, but it was more cost-effective. After a short discussion with my parents, I set my sights on transferring to ISU in January 2006.

After settling into my dorm room at Watterson Towers and purchasing my textbooks, my first order of business was to get acquainted with the student radio station. I had first visited Z106 when I was on campus the previous October; I was impressed by the quality of the station's aesthetic and the various IBA accolades it had received over the years. I attended an open meeting where each department director (music, promotions, news and sports, etc.) introduced themselves and explained what they were seeking in a staff member. I ended up applying for four departments: rock music staff, rock DJ, traffic/billing, and sales. I eventually worked in three of these departments, but was only hired for the rock music staff.

For my first semester at Z106, I largely kept a low profile. I was happy to be there, but I didn't want to make waves. I tried out as a rock DJ again in May 2006, with a new programming director proctoring the auditions. Because of a miscommunication, I didn't know I made the cut until two weeks before Fall Semester started. After that, my presence around the office grew incrementally. By my third semester, I had been assigned to a special project reorganizing the station's manager handbook (the station bible, so to speak) and held two on-air shifts. After spending the Summer of 2007 interning at the station, I was on rock music staff, a rock DJ, an undergraduate teaching assistant, and working in the station's traffic/accounts receivable department. I had made a plethora of friends and contacts, and graduated in December 2007 thinking the impact I had made at Z106 would transition into a long career in the radio industry.

I soon discovered, however that staying in touch was easier said than done. Of the three people that made the greatest impact for me during my time at Z106, there's one person I've only run into twice since graduating (both in the same weekend in 2011), one I last saw the month after I graduated, and one right before I graduated. Social media helps, but the opportunity to have lunch or even grab a beer is scant to physically impossible. I blame part of that on geography, but also on a mountain of miscommunication.

Sometime in late 2009, I noticed that I was unfriended on Facebook by a fourth Z106 cohort. This particular girl was short in stature but big in personality; she was an aspiring comedian of sorts, and had created a persona of being bubbly and vapid. (Her signature bit of sorts was asking "what's a Porter Moser?" after our men's basketball coach was sacked.) At the same time, the station could be a hornet's nest of drama, and her cliquish and entitled mindset sometimes drove that undercurrent of tension. At the same time, I was on good terms with her (so I thought) and never had a personal issue with her.

After realizing I was unfriended, I waited a few days to message this girl and talk things out, but I never got a straight answer. I sent a friend request, which over six years later is still pending. When the station held its 30th anniversary reunion at Homecoming 2011, I approached a group of people that I was cordial with, with the girl in question somewhere in the middle of the cluster. Since I really hadn't discussed the situation with anyone, and didn't want to look squirrelly, I approached everyone in the group with a handshake and a hug. When it was this girl's turn, I embraced her gingerly and moved on to the next person; as I did so, she clenched a teeth for a split-second and muttered "well fuck, he's a hugger."

I don't think we spoke for the remainder of the evening.

Though this girl is not the only former co-worker to unfriend me on Facebook, she might have been the most astonishing. A couple of my old peers simply weren't that close, and as near as I can tell there's no tension between us. Another co-worker, the assistant traffic director during my one semester in that department, unfriended virtually everyone in our office and has totally fallen off the grid. One girl that I nominated for Staffer of the Semester (and ended up sharing the honor) proved to be humorless and easily offended. Granted, she wasn't that easygoing to begin with, but she was reliable and I admired her work ethic. In a way, her unfriending me in late 2012 felt like looking the gift horse in the mouth.

Admittedly, I am driving down to Normal in early April with some trepidation. The visit will be succinct; I'm attending a wedding in Texas the same weekend, so my time back at Z106 (now just WZND) will be somewhat abbreviated. There are a few people that I know will be happy to see me and vice versa, but it will be tricky to navigate around some of the drama and unresolved tension that lingers on after all this time. My career in radio didn't work out, and for most of the Z106 staff in the mid-to-late 2000s, they also saw their broadcasting pursuits sputter out a few years after graduation. We were a group of disparate college kids with a common goal. And we're gonna celebrate.

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My 10th Anniversary Blog

Ten damn years.

When I wrote my first blog entry on the then-nascent TV.com in June 2005, I really wasn't sure what was the point. I was curious about the concept of having a blog, especially on a site where I was a prolific contributor yet also somewhat anonymous. I had my niche --SNL, classic sitcoms, late night TV-- and I made some acquaintances through that. The double-edged sword of CNet buying out TV Tome (and its forgetten sister site, Movie Tome) and the perception of selling out was what actually allowed the new site to become more of a community. We weren't just screen names and post totals on a lo-fi episode guide site, but human faces with human feelings. That layer of anonymity was gone, though some chose to hide behind some kind of veneer. These were halycon days, a period of unabashed nerdiness that lasted about five, maybe six years.

Of everyone that made TV.com hum in the later part of the 2000s, I'm one of the last remaining. I still enjoy the luxuries of being an editor --well, what's left of them, anyway-- though the forums and actual community has atrophied. Most of the people I knew on the site have become friends on other outlets of social media, and the Facebook group Return to TV.com has maintained the conversation in exile. It's not the same, but at least most of us have stayed in touch. The temptation to quit TV.com altogether ebbs and flows in my mind.

If this 10th anniversary blog doesn't sound that celebratory, I have two reasons why. First, I consider my anniversary with the site to be February 1st, 2003, when I launched my TV Tome account. Even though I've been the editor of the SNL episode guide almost immediately after the conversion, it was my contributions in the 2 1/2 years prior that earned that position. I built my status by being prolific in the SNL forum as well as the now-defunct sports discussion board, then submitting info to fill the gaps in Late Night and Late Show with David Letterman. I rose through the ranks at astonishing speed, making the leap from Level 1 to Level 7 within my first two weeks on the new site. Before the level-up system was more or less abandoned last year, I was on the cusp of Level 64, not anywhere near the all-time submission champ but still comfortably in the top 25.

My second reason is that I struggle to seperate my personal life from the half-assed veneer I created. This blog (which I "similcast" with TV.com from 2008 to 2012) became an outlet for me to discuss anything I wanted. My weekly updates are and always will be ramshackle; I'll talk politics one week, music the next, then those two plus my family the week after that. It goes without saying that my life is significantly different than when I was 20: I'm slogging through another temp job, both of my parents still have recurring health issues, I've been living at home a lot longer than planned, and overall I'm just forcing myself through the peaks and valleys of adulthood. On the other hand, I'm far less introverted than I was 10 years ago, my dabbles in writing, comedy and improv have become almost a part-time job onto itself, and I've finally come to terms with the fact that my radio aspirations were never meant to be. (I haven't totally ruled out voiceover work.)

Navel-gazing aside, I want to thank anyone and everyone who has ever read my blog for commenting and interacting over the past decade. I am grateful for the support of my friends and family, including the people I've never met in person that have taken a foothold in my universe. I wouldn't be doing this if I didn't think anyone was interested, and you've been vigilant and then some.

Ten damn years.

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Promotion Commotion: Five Years Later

Five years ago this week, I was replaced at my position at Salem Communications' Chicago branch. It was the culmination of 3 1/2 months of sitting on my hands, and the end of 11 quixotic years of pursuing my lifelong dream of a career in the radio industry. I went into greater detail about those final few months in a blog four years ago, and though I'm not necessarily at peace with how things played out, radio is a chapter in my life that is mostly behind me.

Even if that career path didn't totally pan out, part of me couldn't quite give up radio. In April 2011, I landed a job interview for a producer/sound engineer position for a time-brokered* show. The host of the show was a "life guru" and fitness expert who lived in a giant house in a tony Chicago suburb. Her show was on my old station for a short time, so I knew the name and the concept. The first two-thirds of the interview went fine; it was a pleasant conversation with just a handful of the usual bullet-point interview questions. I mentioned I had a blog --this blog-- when she asked for a sample of my writing; I nonchalantly showed her a recent entry and she discovered we different political beliefs. The interview was more or less over.

In hindsight, I dodged two bullets. The guy who helped me land the interview admitted that the life guru was an egomaniac and at times impossible to work with. If something bad happened, he claimed, everyone would take the blame except her. As such, her time-brokered* show has been on and off hiatus several times since our meeting in Hinsdale. By mid-2011 my search for radio work in any capacity was treading water, so I put more energy into finding work that suited my other skills.

Being replaced at the cluster was the second bullet. Since was I dismissed on April 30th, 2010, there have been four different people in my old position. The candidate that my disingenuous business manager preferred lasted 11 months before quitting, and there's been a different person at the front desk every year or two since. As I feared and rightfully assumed, both stations are more concerned with putting out a mediocre, pandering product for a fringe audience rather than compete with top Chicago AM stations like WLS, WGN, and WBBM. Things hit a bizarre nadir when this happened, as brazen and transparent a publicity stunt can get.

Though the tone of this blog post might seem spiteful, I'm happier now than I was in the waning days of my run at Salem. I no longer have to hide the fact that I'm a progressive in an office that was overwhelmingly conservative, and I no longer deal with irate listeners or incompetent management. I still volunteer from time to time at the station where I worked in community college, and for posterity I recorded some new airchecks last year. I still have some misgivings, but overall I'm better off.

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*Purchased airtime on a radio station, usually as weekend programming filler, often a thinly veiled informercial.

Weekly Update #369

Congratulations, you've been redirected!


"Where's Jesse?" That's the refrain that Chicago has been singing in recent weeks. Jesse Jackson Jr, son of the activist and a strange bedfellow of Rod Blagojevich, completely fell off the grid earlier this summer.  After seemingly playing hooky from his office in DC, it was revealed that Jackson was at an unknown rehab facility in Arizona. Little is known about his condition other than what his close friends are calling a "mood disorder." Even his notoriously garralous father has been keeping mum. The Chicago media, famed for their persistence and glad-handing, is being shut out in every direction. It's not a major surprise, given his confusing track record of late.

A promising political figure when first elected 17 years ago, "Triple J" has ultimately proven to be more noteworthy at home than in DC, where is a very average, albeit quixotic presence in the House of Representatives. Rather than set his eye on higher office (Mayor of Chicago? The U.S. Senate?) Jackson seems more content to serve his constituents and nothing more. Jackson's connections to Blagojevich have done him zero favors. His star was on a slow simmer prior to 2008, now it's barely lit.  Triple J has carried his district in a landslide for nine straight elections, but Jackson's next run at the vote will be his most daunting.  Is Jackson really in a "bad mood," or does he know his mostly undistinguished run is near an end?

Other notes:

+ Speaking of Chicago, one of the greatest risks in local radio history has ended in abject failure. FM News, Merlin Media's attempt to bring talk radio to the other side of the dial, was an unlistenable mess for much of its one year run. The new ownership, led by the infamous Randy Michaels, took a perfectly fine (though middling ratings-wise) station like alt-rock stalwart Q101, canned and gutted the format, than replaced it with news/talk without a focus or purpose.  In a city where talk and music formats are virtually segregated between AM and FM, the idea of FM News was noble but woefully ill-conceived. My sympathies to those that have lost their jobs this week, but the chip on Michaels' shoulder only keeps growing.

+ Improv Update: I made a house team! As of two weeks ago, I'm now a regular at the Gorilla Tango Improv Zoo in Wicker Park. We have weekly shows Tuesdays nights at 9 o'clock.

+ Finally, I'm going to look backward, rather than straight ahead. When I wrote my first blog entry in June 2005, I hardly had an idea of what I was doing. The prospect of writing about my life, whether intermittently on a weekly basis, seemed daunting and a little scary. On the other hand, I've always been stronger at writing than in any other means of communication. What started out as a weekly series of trite dispatches became my soapbox, my confessional, and my means of talking about matters unrelated to TV on a web site about all things television. Most importantly, it allowed me to connect to my fellow users and contributors. I'll still be around the forums, but golly whiz if TV.com won't be the same.

Rainbow Bridge

So President Obama has no problem with same-sex marriage? I had assumed as much for a while now; he alluded to being pro-LGBT during the '08 election, but he didn't specify his stance until last week. As a political manuever, it's just as risky as it is brilliant. The American LGBT population, a steady growing bloc of voters, are already wary of the GOP options. President Obama's endorsement wrangled the cattle back to the ranch. As such, Mitt Romney declared his preference for traditional marriage --which he awkwardly phrased as "a preference for women"-- in a rare reachout to social conservatives. As such, neither candidate will make a crossover appeal to new or undecided voters.

What frustrates me, however is that the gay marriage debate only further distracts voters and candidates alike from a much greater issue, the economy. Social issues keep getting pushed to the forefront, and with Biden's remark being the exception to the rule, it's been mostly social conservatives dropping the bombs.  If this election focused strictly on job growth and fiscal responsibility, Mitt Romney would win in November in a walk. The mere mention of abortion and gay marriage, however is only adding muscle to the Obama campaign. Newt Gingrich and Rick Santorum used social issues to undermine and distract Romney during the primaries and now it'll linger until the election. This has become an election of "values," even though I'm not sure that's the topic that needs debating, it is inadvertantly swinging the election in Obama's favor.

One other note:

+ Modern rock is back on Chicago radio... sort of. Earlier this month, Merlin Media --the same multimedia behemoth that killed Q101-- bought out a tiny "smooth jazz" station's signal and flipped it to alternative rock. Only problem is, that new signal is on 87.7 FM; older radios can't pick up that station, and the actual antenna is so far away from the city that it's difficult to listen to "Q87" on a car radio. This feels more like an unwieldy public relations ploy than an actual radio station (for now, anyway).

Next week: the 2012 memory list.

An Announcement & Random Notes

This week marks the second anniversary of when I was ignobly replaced at Salem Communications' Chicago branch. After 24 months of soul-searching and unemployment-inflicted neurosis I may have found something stable in the least likely of places. Effective later this week, I will be an independent contractor for the College of DuPage. Specifically, I will be selling underwriting for WDCB-FM, the radio station I worked at from 2003 to 2006. I don't have an office, and the position pays entirely in commission, but I'm glad to be back in WDCB's good graces. Of course, I never entirely went away; I have volunteered intermittently at the station, usually during their quarterly pledge drives, for the past six-plus years. I might be back at square one, but I'm glad to be back in the radio industry regardless.

Other notes:

+ April was not a great month for sports, at least from my perspective.  My Royals dropped their first ten home games --during one extended homestand, no less-- as young up-and-comers like Eric Hosmer and Mike Moustaskas struggled at the plate. Closer to home, the Blackhawks were eliminated by the Coyotes in the NHL quarterfinals, with Raffi Torres' hit on Marian Hossa being the "highlight" of the series. Late last week, Illinois State basketball head coach Tim Jankovich bolted for Southern Methodist, where he'll be reunited with mentor Larry Brown. The month ended with Derrick Rose blowing out his ACL in the Bulls' first playoff game against Philadelphia, seriously endangering a potential championship run. Hopefully May brings better fortunes to the teams I root for.

+ Do any cable channels air what they're supposed to air anymore?  IFC --short for Independent Film Channel, mind you-- has been airing "Malcolm in the Middle" reruns since late last year. VH1 Classic is now mixing its '80s/'90s music video lineup with old episodes of "Married... with Children." Reelz (a smaller channel that emphasizes movie talk and airs bad '80s flicks) is now dabbling into original scripted programming. It's more than just MTV not airing music videos anymore. Didn't any of this  mean something to anyone?

+ Finally, my ex-roommate made the Huffington Post! (The reporter, not the spitting lady.)

Next week: my seventh annual fantasy Emmy ballot.

Live... from Chicago... Again

About 18 months ago, I attempted to go see the SNL audition showcase at iO Chicago and failed. When I heard that another one would be held in mid-January, I made sure to prepare. Once again I had an inside track, but this time I was better prepared. To explain: when I didn't pass my Conservatory Level 3 audition in December (don't worry, I'll try again in February), I decided to take Level 5 over again at iO. Oddly enough, my assigned teacher is Charna Halpern, the last surviving founding business partner of iO as well as the unofficial matriarch of long-form Chicago improv. Charna promoted the showcase right before class, and she had final say on who would audition for the SNL producers. The first time around I found out through the grapevine; this time I was privy to some inside information (at least, for the moment). As a longtime fan of the show, I was calm and collected on the outside but squealing like a little girl on the inside.

My greatest concern about the audition was not whether I'd get in or not, but the timing. The SNL showcase is normally held in late July, in preparation for the coming TV season. Holding auditions in January threw two red flags in my mind: first, it meant that new featured players would likely be added towards the end of the season; second, it was fair to assume that the current cast, consistent since 2006 or so but clearly long in the tooth, was facing some overdue turnover. In other words, several longtime stars of the show --if you want names, your guess is as good as mine-- were likely leaving for greener pastures in the Spring.

After arriving too late last time, I planned on arriving in line around 6:30 or so (the showcase started at 8). When I found out that the crowd waiting outside iO was already fifty strong by 6 o'clock, I beelined to the theater. The Del Close (upstairs) Theater at iO seats about 150, so timing was crucial. Without having to explain myself... I finally got in! Knowing that the showcase normally draws a humongous crowd, the iO interns packed the DCT rafters, than used every folding chair they could find to seat the overflow. The situation screamed "fire hazard" but I was just happy to be there.

At the insistence of my fellow SNL fanatics, I made sure to take notes. I knew beforehand that Lorne Michaels did not fly out to Chicago, and though it was speculated that Steve Higgins and/or Seth Meyers would take his place, the auditors were comprised of two associate producers and three writers. I was under the impression that ten actors would give their all to the show's auditors; instead, 17 made Charna's cut. Of this talented group only a couple outright bombed, but everyone else came out with pistols blazing and the audience rolling in the aisles. Of that group here are my picks to click, the seven actors that have probably already stamped their ticket to 30 Rock, that I hope you'll remember in the near-future:

• CHRISTINE TAWFIK: Reminds me a lot of Nasim Pedrad. Introduced two great characters, an old British lady and an Egyptian film critic. Does an outstanding impression of Penelope Cruz --looks like her, too-- though her Jodie Foster was merely okay.
• GREG HESS: A member of famed Cook County Social Club, one of the top improv teams in Chicago. Looks like a nerdy Brad Hall. Does impressions and voices like a dynamo.
• BRETT ELAM: Fun fact: his older sister Erica was my first improv teacher, and his kid brother Scott is also on the Chicago scene. Did great impressions of Eminem recording a car commercial and Dane Cook waiting for a bus. Versatile and clever in a Bill Hader kind of way.
• ROSS KIMBALL: Another fun fact: Ross is from Naperville, IL, the same hometown as Paul Brittain. Tall, handsome glass of water. Really nice guy. Played Ben Roethlisberger, Clint Eastwood, a spazzy tour guide, and a clueless stepdad.
• JET EVELETH: Fan favorite at iO. First auditioned for SNL in July 2010. Disappears into characters. Take Amy Poehler and Kristen Wiig's best qualities and put it in a 5'4" body, and that's Jet. Did one long scene involving an awkward little girl trying to grab/hug her pet cat.
• KATE O'BRIEN: One of three members of The Katydids (another notable local group) to audition. Short, spunky, energetic blonde. Imitated Madonna and Gywneth Paltrow. Played a motormouth Louisiana native and a little girl drinking soda for the first time.
• LYNDSAY HAILEY: Another fan favorite, and a former teacher of mine. Plays crazy in a good way. Imitated Sarah Palin imitating Tina Fey. The strongest outright "actress" in the audition. Opened with a hardcore rap and closed with a Ke$ha/Rihanna parody.

So what happens from here? Well, this is only the first stage; those that get summoned to New York audition again for Lorne and his inner circle, and of the hundred-odd improvisers, actors, and comedians that audition in Chicago, NYC, and LA at any given time only a handful either join the cast or are hired as writers. Also, this wasn't the only audition in Chicago; a group of twelve also put their best foot forward at the Annoyance Theatre one night later. However, the iO audition carries more weight, as Brittain and Vanessa Bayer (the two Chicagoans that made it last time) were both cherry-picked by Charna. The overall experience was thrilling, and even if no one from that magical night makes the cut the actors that auditioned have the stories of a lifetime. For two hours on a bitterly cold Chicago night, everyone was a star.

Other notes:

+ Did John King have a right to ask Newt Gingrich about his marital infidelities? Yes. Was it necessary to ask that as the leadoff question in the South Carolina debate last week? No. Though I rarely take the former Speaker's side on most issues, he had every right to give King an earful. Promoting yourself as a "family values" candidate yet proposing an open marriage to your cancer-stricken wife is certainly a matter of contention, but reversing unemployment and strengthening the economy are much more substantial concerns. The GOP is already distrustful of the mainstream media, and this did not help matters.

+ Merlin Media, the radio conglomerate that I've been ranting about since last summer, is at it again. "News FM," the news/talk format they launched in Chicago, makes no secret of their desire of the college-educated female demographic. "The Loop," the other station they own in the market, has staged a giveaway for free breast implants. Is it just me, or is that one heck of a double standard?

Next week: the year in music, 1967.

Real Big Fish

Ten things that the new Miami Marlins logo reminds me of:

• the opening credits to a forgotten "Saved by the Bell" spinoff.
• a generic postcard that you send to a relative you can barely tolerate.
• the design on a nightshirt that your grandma would wear... if she wears a nightie.
• Gloria Estefan's tour bus, circa 1992.
• the poor man's Red Lobster.
• Prozac.
• a new exhibit at Seaworld, just before PETA catches wind and protests outside the park.
• a suburban white guy trying in vain to impress a Latino co-worker.
• Jeffrey Loria's hubris (natch).
• a misguided attempt at filling a void in Miami's heart since the Dolphins and Panthers suck and the Heat won't play again until 2012 at the earliest.

Other notes:

+ My roommate is from outside Pittsburgh --Latrobe, PA to be exact-- and he has three true loves in his life: the Steelers, Penguins, and Penn State football. As you might imagine the ol' roomie had a pretty rough go at it last week, and near as I can tell ESPN and ESPNews are still still banned in our household. All I can say on the matter is hate the school establishment, not the school itself; Jerry Sandusky, Joe Paterno, and the school board of trustees all have blood on their hands, but don't blame the players or the students. The riots were an act of denial, not stupidity; those PSU underclassmen were defending a man that betrayed them, and the chaos in State College was purely impulsive. Still, it'll take years for the school and the Nittany Lions football program to recover.

+ Was I the only person that thought Rick Perry would somehow survive his much-YouTubed blunder last week? T-Paw notwithstanding, these candidates are so fueled by their desire to topple President Obama that they can't read any indicator that their campaign is practically over. That now-infamous debate flub, paired with Herman Cain's harassment allegations inadvertantly gave Newt Gingrich a slice of the spotlight, though I still find the ex-Speaker difficult to take seriously. Also, Mitt Romney's growing lead in the polls doesn't surprise me in the faintest, though this could indicate a moderate-right resurgence in the coming months.

+ My link of the week is courtesy of Christine "Electra" Pawlak, former midday DJ at the late, lamented Q101 in Chicago. This wonderful essay provides insight on the death of rock radio from an insider perspective that I can't even touch, and her "no regrets" attitude is both jarring and refreshing.

Next week: my 7th annual "thanks/no thanks" list.

Random Notes, November 2011

This week seems like a better time than ever to catch up on various stories and tie up some loose ends:

+ Back in July I commented on the slow, painful death of Chicago radio as exemplified by the demise of the market's last modern-rock station. Since then, things have grown worse; as Chicago media gadfly Robert Feder blogged last week, a recent rash of layoffs marked the bloodiest week in local radio history. The mass media behemoth known as ClearChannel was the most egregious executioner, wiping out 11% of the entire company's payroll; nothing was safe from the big purge, from station managers all the way down to production assistants. This past Sunday marked 18 months since the unceremonious end of my last radio gig, and my heart goes out my brothers in the radio industry; it's beyond frustrating to watch a dream die like that, and in some ways I'm still recovering from the rejection.

+ Then in August, I blogged about the woebegone Lake County Fielders, an independent baseball team left for dead by its management and community. Two months after the fact, their painful story finally hit the mainstream media. When the Fielders' management couldn't financially justify air fare anymore, the Northern League was forced to rearrange the remaining schedule of the 2011 season, essentially excluding the boys in Zion. In turn, the Fielders spent a whole month playing home-and-home with a semi-pro club from central Wisconsin. No official word yet on whether the Fielders will live to see a third year, though it's looking quite doubtful.

+ With that said, how was my first week living in Chicago? Well, I arrived at the apartment that I'm subletting around 2:30 last Monday; I was able to carry all my belongings up two flights of stairs by myself in about two hours. (Moving into an apartment that was pre-furnished was very helpful, to say the least.) My roomie works odd hours and travels a lot, so at times it was kinda lonely around the place; however, I had a checklist of friends' shows that I wanted to see but wasn't able to until now.

The personal highlight of my first week was weirdly serendipitous. One of the most popular improv shows in Chicago is TJ & Dave, a two-man, one-hour spectacle of sorts that iO hosts every Wednesday night. (To those of you who might be visiting Chicago anytime soon, this is an excellent way to dip your toe into improv. Plus, tickets are only $5!) The bad news was that TJ wasn't there that night, supposedly because he was shooting a movie in LA. The good news is that he was filled in by Tracy Letts. It's one thing if it were another star of the Chicago comedy scene, but another to see Pulitzer Prize-winning playwright Tracy Letts do improv, and quite well might I add. Suffice to say, I was blown away; I shook Letts' hand after the show, but he rushed out of the theater before I could ask for a photo or autograph.

+ Finally, the 7 billionth person in the world was born on Monday, and believe it or not, it wasn't a Duggar...

Radio Dazed

Since I last unloaded my thoughts on current events, an already tense summer has boiled over into a tumbleweed of controversies. The acquital of Casey Anthony and the reduced charges on Dominique Strauss-Kahn have made observers ponder how the media determines and goads one's guilt before the accused faces a jury. In turn, the phone-tapping scandal that has rocked the Scotland Yard, Rupert Murdoch's News Corp, and nearly every level of the British government has stirred a debate about the right to privacy and the limits of gathering information. ("Vast left-wing conspiracy" my fanny.) However, there's a third prong to this communication pitchfork that pricks too close to my comfort.

On Thursday July 14th, the on-air personalities of WKQX 101.1 FM in Chicago signed off for the last time. WKQX, known more commonly as Q101, and its sister station WLUP 97.9 FM "The Loop" were sold by its parent company to Randy Michaels' upstart Merlin Media in early June. Michaels, a man celebrated by the Chicago media for his strides in female enpowerment, bought the two struggling stations with the intent to convert at least one signal into a news/talk format. Even though The Loop --a station whose once-stalwart '70s/'80s hard rock format has seen better days-- seemed far more vulnerable, Michaels' henchman dropped the ax on Q101.

The last alt-rock station in the market, Q101 was a brand that had annihilated every direct competitor it had faced in its 19-year existence. Alas, since the economic downturn three years ago ad revenue had plummeted and never quite recovered. My friends and peers here in Chicago grew up with Q101, the "cool" station that mixed '90s grunge with today's alternative rock; the whole format was a thumb at the nose at other CHR stations that played increasingly samey hip-hop and autotuned, overproduced pop songs. In the last five years of Q101's run, their on-air staff had neither overpaid local luminaries nor canned voiceovers from LA, but a group of dilligent, serviceable, locally bred DJs that knew how to connect with an audience. They were one of us.

Well before Randy Michaels (real name: Ben Homel) was creating overtime opportunities for his female underlings, he was a highly controversial and much-derided figure in Chicago radio. His first stint here in the early '90s is the stuff of legend. When billionaire Sam Zell saved the Tribune Company from bankrupcy in 2007, he appointed his golf buddy Michaels to run broadcast operations, which included flagship WGN 720 AM. In promising a "fun, nonlinear creative environment," Michaels proceeded to run a station of immense history, pride, and tradition into the ground. Like a South American revolutionary Michaels went from savior to totalitarian overnight, firing top personnel and longtime on-air talent at WGN with cronies, hacks, and brown-nosers. When he was finally axed late last year, it seemed like Michaels' days in the Windy City were at long last over. Now he's back for a third spin.

Upon making the switch official, the competition jumped into action. WBBM 780 AM, the longtime alpha dog of Chicago news/talk, announced that their struggling sister station, WCFS 105.9 "Fresh FM," would drop its lite-rock format to become a Newsradio 780 similcast effective August 1st. It was a chess-like strategic move first and a cutting of losses second. It also meant that two music-format FM stations were kaput and over a hundred people were out of jobs. Sadly, this trend is not limited to Chicago; in the advent of mp3 players and iPods, the younger demographic has grown bored with listening to music that they can't personalize; no matter how broad a programming director can cast that big net, the kids are tuning out. As a result, music radio formats are dying and talk formats --politically biased manna for middle-aged reactionaries-- are rising. The impact in which a radio determines a hit song is at an all-time low. At this rate, I almost feel like I'll be forced into buying an iPod just so I don't have to choose between Michael Savage, Sean Hannity, or Rachel Maddow during drive time.

Other notes:

+ The ongoing budget wars have been both compelling and difficult to watch at the same time. What happens now is more than just capping the national debt, it's a make-or-break moment not only for President Obama but the credibility of the "Tea Party" congress. Public opinion has a tendency to shift with mercurial abandon --hey, remember when Obama kinda-sorta killed bin Laden?-- and the budget breakdown could be either a watershed moment or the end of at least one young, promising political career. The partisan war on the economy will be the topic that tilts the 2012 elections, and the budget battle is Fort Sumter. Sadly, no compromise will satisfy everyone and more people will come out losing no matter what happens between now and next week.

+ This past weekend marked my completion of the iO writing program. I held a reading of the final draft of my sitcom pilot "Pushing Air" Sunday afternoon at the theater, and I thought it went pretty well. (Why yes, it is a satire about the radio industry-- how'd you guess?) On the improv side of things, my team Ladies & Lumberjacks has four shows down and three to go, and personally I think we've hit our stride. We have collectively grown so much over the past 15 months. Maybe I'm speaking too soon, but when all is said and done I will genuinely miss working with these people.

Next week: when bad songs happen to good people (i.e. yours truly).

My Promotion Commotion

April 30th marked one year of unemployment (or underemployment, depending on how you look at it) for yours truly. It has been a year of perpetual struggle, of peaks and valleys, and above all pondering the direction of my life and whether I've made the right career choice. Typically when I write my blog, I try to shy away from my personal problems. I focus upon current events, sports, and music not only as a pleasant distraction, but also to keep my skills sharp. It was my intent to share my story after I had found steady employment again, but my anxiety and frustration could no longer let me suppress my viewpoint for much longer.

It all started in mid-January, 2010. I had been the traffic assistant at the station for nearly two years, and as the result of budget cuts, I had also been the receptionist for about 14 months. I was initially hired to be part-time, five hours a day, 25 hours a week. It was on this average January weekday that my boss and our business manager/HR director sat me down to explain that my position was finally being expanded to full-time. However, because the company was an equal-opportunity employer, I had to reapply for my own job. A job listing was posted on a prominent industry web site for anyone to apply.

When I was first hired by Salem in May 2008, I sighed with relief. Upon graduating from college, I had submitted my resume and audio samples (both DJ airchecks and production) to nearly forty radio clusters --few stations are by themselves nowadays, it all depends on who owns them-- and they were only my second interview. After two wonderfully informative sit-downs, I was hired. Though traffic wasn't my first choice and my prior credentials were minimal, I was glad to be back in the radio industry. My first two weeks at the office were predominately spent training; though I felt like got off to a slow start, by the first month I had found my rhythm and developed a great rapport with my direct superior, the traffic manager. Every day was a new challenge, and even though it was tricky meeting daily deadlines I always made a conscious effort. The workload was heavy, but manageable. I was convinced that I had a future with this company... or so I thought.

In my first six months there was a significant regime change in our branch. The HR director that was partially responsible for bringing me aboard retired on account of her near-crippling arthritis. Her chosen replacement was for all intents and purposes her complete opposite; where the previous director was a self-deprecating mother figure, the new one was a deadly serious, business-oriented pragmatist. On top of that, where I was on friendly terms with HR director #1, her replacement made absolutely no attempt to get acquainted with anyone besides her boss and the other station management. Worse yet, director #2 had repeatedly called me out for mistakes at the front desk that were relatively minor and easily rectified. With time, it became quite clear that she didn't particularly like me, and that I would have to make an exorbitant effort to save my job.

As requested, I e-mailed my updated resume and references to the HR director, and we arranged to have my interview on the morning of Monday, February 8th. I spent the night before mentally preparing myself for the sit-down, partially out of determination but also out of shear nerve. As the sitting traffic assistant/receptionist, I was the first of six or seven candidates to walk into the conference room. Human resources asked the questions and my boss sat silently, taking notes. The interview itself went okay; though I felt like I was stumped by a question or two, I felt confident regardless. After the interview, the HR director stated that she'd make a decision within two weeks. And two weeks later... nothing happened.

In my extended time of waiting, I wasn't sure what to assume. Was the decision taking longer than usual, or was I a dead man walking? After the 14-day "deadline" had passed, I reluctantly started glancing at radio jobs online. To my astonishment, our HR director had reposted the same job opening from the month before. I came to work pretending as if nothing out of the ordinary had happened, and though I put on a brave face and a focused effort on my work, on the inside I was panicking. Even though I trusted my boss, I was too nervous to ask about the re-posting or the second round of interviews. Knowing of my duress, my co-workers would walk past the front desk and ask how I was doing; their moral support was fleeting, but noble in the attempt.

By late April, my worst fears were all but confirmed. Rumors were beginning to swirl around the office, and I gave my best non-answer to their prying questions. During the third and fourth cattle calls, the HR director conducted the conferences herself, without my boss' input. One candidate that walked in had garnered a second interview, a sit-in with the general manager that I'd never had. My boss would occasionally go into the HR director's office to vent, and one day during that week she was in the business manager's office for a longer period of time than usual. Glancing past the window, I could tell my boss was tearing up and that the HR director was being her usual hardheaded self.

On April 30th, I was asked to step into the HR office. As I sat next to the traffic director, I learned my fate: the search had come down to two candidates, the aforementioned ringer and myself, and they went with the new guy. Her words were polite, but her eyes had a certain resignation, a strangely gleeful glimmer. The director even tried to smirk, but my boss' repressed tears came from a more honest emotion. There was so much I wanted to say; I had an irresistible urge to call this cipher out for being secretive, elusive, and above all dishonest. Instead I clenched my teeth, cleaned out my desk, and tried to look professional and graceful in my departure.

In my HR director's eyes I was a milquetoast, possibly borderline incompetent, and her cold smile and sudden, abrupt attempt at compassion couldn't hide the fact that she had been gunning after me. Altogether, this HR director made me sit on my hands for 3 1/2 months, Was I fired, forced out, or replaced? I'd like to think I was a combination of the three. As I drove home, I was overwhelmed by a singular emptiness. Even though this was the first time I'd ever been sacked --an experience that everyone will eventually go through-- I still felt screwed over. Part of me is still convinced that human resources overrode any feedback that my boss would've had in this whole process, and that she'd further consolidated her power in the office. In short, I had no leverage, and all my energies were for naught.

In the meantime, I've been trying to give myself a clean slate, not out of willingness but because of necessity. Attempts to reconnect with former co-workers at Salem have been ignored or rebuffed. As such, I don't think anyone in my old office is aware of the existence of this blog. I've had text conversations with my ex-boss, but they've been short and stilted. I'd also found out through the grapevine that my position was redefined in that the receptionist reported to the HR director and not the traffic director. Apparently, he also assumed a different set of responsibilities, which meant my former boss was (is?) now doing the work of two people. Concurrently, I've been intermittently temping and substitute teaching, but mostly I've been ekeing out a living on unemployment benefits.

I have written this blog entry for the sake of catharsis, and not to attack, vilify, or exact revenge. I was very tempted to call out the offending party by name, but that would be industry suicide. For the last 12 1/2 months, I've been penting up my rage and alienation to the extent that I had release my demons the only way I can. Counting high school, I had played the radio game for eleven years, and now I'm further away from my dream job than I've ever been. I've had one radio-related interview in the past year, but nothing came out of it. On one hand, I've been thinking outside the box and pooling my skills into a variety of other possibilities; on the other hand, I don't want to give up on a dream I've been building on for so long. Blind optimism is what keeps me going. Inexorably, I feel like a burden has been lifted off my back, and that I'm ready to clear whatever future hurdles come my way.

Random Notes, December 2010

+ It's hard for me to fathom that I graduated from college three years ago this week. I say that wistfully because not much has gone according to plan. When I left Illinois State in 2007, my intent was to go home for a few months, then head back down when a potential radio job opened. Though I spent two years doing traffic and billing at a two-station cluster up in Chicago, I have yet to put my training in radio production to use in the professional world. Worse yet, the majority of my connections at Great Plains Media (where I did an internship in the Fall of '07) left the cluster within a year of my departure, and the one person I used as a resume reference was forced out by corporate around that same time. Though I'm happy with my temp gig, I still don't know if it'll lead to something permanant. Simply put, I still have time on my side and I want to resume my career in the radio industry. Sadly, I don't feel like I'm getting a fair shake from anyone. However, I'm not ready to put my dream on the backburner.

+ I thought this was going to be a slow lame duck session, but it's proven otherwise and not for the better. Extending tax cuts for the richest 1% --represented by the selfless, modest, hard-working likes of Paris Hilton and Kim Kardashian-- could be a death blow for the American economy. I don't like using hyperbole, but this is a terrible mistake and I'm appalled that President Obama conceded to the GOP like that. I cannot and will not understand why the very wealthiest Americans should be exempt from chipping in their worth, regardless of whether or not they're politically active and throw around campaign money like green confetti. I have no problem with the extension of jobless benefits, but it doesn't sound like a fair exchange.

+ How's improv? This week I finished Level 4 at IO, and I start Level 4B on January 2nd. I've also completed Writing 2 with Nate Herman, and I begin W3 the day after. On alternating Saturday nights, I've been performing in the opening act for a Midnight show at IO. Lyndsay Hailey --the teacher I was describing at length a few weeks back-- is headlining her own show, and she launched an impromptu improv team to start off each "program." She dubbed our group The Hangover Clinic because we practice and workshop on early Saturday mornings, when most of our classmates and contemporaries are still working off the previous night's buzz. For those of you in or around Chicago, we're up every Saturday night just after 12AM through the end of January, and admission is only $5.

Next week: the year in music, 2010.

That Wonderful Year in Music... 1999

After spending the past few months writing up best-of lists from years that I knew were strong and top-heavy and contained some of my all-time favorite albums, I decided to challenge myself this time around. The late '90s and early '00s have never really been that high on my radar because I just wasn't into top 40 and CHR around that time; rather than play this by memory, I decided to do my homework. When I look back at that year, it was around the time that I really got into classic rock; I had my first real tastes of bands like Led Zeppelin, The Who, and The Rolling Stones during the summer that I turned 15. 1999 was also the year where I began pursuing a career in radio; I hadn't really thought about what I wanted to do with my life at that point, and I had listened to the old WXCD-FM in Chicago to such an extent that I was really curious about being a disc jockey.

In a way, the soundtrack to '99 gets drowned out by all the other artistic achievements of that year. It was a strong year for movies, with cinematic milestones and cult faves such as The Matrix, Being John Malkovich, Magnolia, Fight Club, Man on the Moon, Office Space, and to a lesser extent American Beauty. Over on television, "The Sopranos," "The West Wing," "Law & Order: Special Victims Unit," "Freaks & Geeks," "Family Guy," "Futurama," and "Spongebob Squarepants" all bowed in '99. The year in literature alone gave us Isaac's Storm, The Onion Presents: Our Dumb Century, and the third Harry Potter novel. From a pop culture standpoint, the whole year was an assault on the senses. After five weeks of research, however, I think I've pieced together a pretty good summation of what the sounds of 1999 were all about. Here goes:

BEST ALBUMS:

1. The Soft Bulletin, The Flaming Lips. After fiddling around with an experimental, neo-psychedelic sound for a little over a decade, The Lips pieced together a career-defining album in the wake of a bizarre incident that nearly destroyed the band. (Listen to "The Spiderbite Song" for more details.) Their previous release Zaireeka was an experimental, four-disc cacophony of noise that denies any comparison; Bulletin is not as difficult or layered but probably just as weird and a lot more accessible.
2. 69 Love Songs, The Magnetic Fields. This set is paid as advertised; three CDs with 23 tracks each, all of which run about two minutes in length, each about love, infatuation, and romance. The songs bounce from one genre to another, from punk to country to the old soft shoe, with a minimalist acoustic sound that's equally cozy and charming. My only question is, why 69 songs? ;)

3. Play, Moby. Nearly every track on this disc either became a top 10 hit, was used in a TV commercial, or became the theme song of a short-lived TV show. If you churned out that many catchy tunes, you'd use every part of the cow, too.

4. Summer Teeth, Wilco

5. When the Pawn Hits the Conflicts..., Fiona Apple

6. 1965, The Afghan Whigs

7. Remedy, Basement Jaxx

8. The Unauthorized Biography of Reinhold Messner, Ben Folds Five

9. Midnight Vultures, Beck

10. Californication, Red Hot Chili Peppers. I have a weak spot for a good comeback story, and the Peppers' resurgence stood out the most that year. The uneven One Hot Minute notwithstanding, this was the true follow-up to RHCP's 1991 breakthrough Blood Sugar Sex Magik. With guitarist John Frusicante back in the fold and frontman Anthony Kiedis looking at his demons in the rearview mirror, Californication is as cathartic as it is a goofy, funky party album.

Honorable Mentions: The Gay Parade, Of Montreal; Stupid Dream, Porcupine Tree; How I Learned To Love The Bootboys, The Auteurs. 

BEST SINGLES:

"My Own Worst Enemy," Lit

"Drive," Incubus

"Let Me Go," Cake

"The Kids Aren't Alright," The Offspring

"Take a Picture," Filter

"Everything You Want," Vertical Horizon

"Steal My Sunshine," LEN

"She's So High," Tal Bachman
"Angel," Sarah McLachlan

"The Great Beyond," R.E.M.

BEST VIDEOS:

1. "Learn To Fly," Foo Fighters. In a summer where the death of John F. Kennedy Jr. dominated the gossip pages, several music videos with plane crashes at the heart of the plot were pulled by MTV out of respect to the mourning family. Where Filter's "Take a Picture" and eerie and mopey, "Learn To Fly" was a fun romp. Plus, how can you go wrong with a cameo by Tenacious D?

2. "My Name Is," Enimem. The first of many topical and incendiary clips by the "artiste" Marshall Mathers. His Clinton impression looks kinda like Andrew McCarthy.

3. "Praise You," Fatboy Slim. Spike Jonze's gonzo imagination runs wild again. The whole clip is the end result of a mockumentary about a spazzy small-time choreographer (played by Jonze) and his gaggle of dancing misfits.

4. "The Child," Alex Gopher. The director of this video has repeatedly referred to this effort as "word porn," though it's what happens after procreation that dominates the premise.

5. "Coffee & TV," Blur. A poignant love story about anthropomorphic milk cartons, with a mystery to boot. I can't say anything else about it without ruining the plot, though the ambitious usage of old-school trick photography is a sight to behold.

Special thanks to mtjaws for his contribution to this blog entry.

Those Wonderful Years in Music... 1988 and 1989

In honor of my big milestone last week, our monthly salute to a particular year in music is going to be a two-fer. I decided to clump 1988 and 1989 together because they were part of a distinctive transitional period; I'll even make the case that the late '80s is the gray zone in the musical generation gap, when rock purists gave up on the Top 40, hair metal was king, pop was synth-heavy piffle, and rap and alt-rock were inching into the mainstream. Twenty years on, it appears that college rock was the place to be, with on-the-cusp bands like R.E.M. and The Pixies leading the movement. That's not to say commerical radio in '88 and '89 was a massive black hole; there were a few good songs here and there but the then-current trends of the industry haven't aged that well. (Case in point: Will To Power.) As these records and singles suggest, it was a good time to dig deep.

BEST ALBUMS OF 1988

1. Daydream Nation, Sonic Youth. Marking the culmination of their transition from abrasive noise-rock to post-punk art-rock, Thurston Moore and company cook up a potluck dinner of sound: sprawling, varying, and quite filling. The seven-minute anti-anthem "Teenage Riot" lures you in and there's no looking back.
2. Nothing's Shocking, Jane's Addiction. From my review on mp3.com: "(This) fusion of metal and prog-rock is as influental as it is something to behold, and almost every track has a distinct tension that makes you wonder if it'll fall apart or make a smooth landing... 'Summertime Rolls,' 'Mountain Song,' 'Idiots Rule,' and the hit 'Jane Says' combine for a formidable foursome."
3. Green, R.E.M. After five decade-defining LPs on the I.R.S. label, Michael Stipe and the boys lept to Geffen --and into the American mainstream-- with their sixth out-of-the-park home run in as many years. Their previous disc Document gave the quartet their first two Top 40 hits, but Green cemented their place in the higher echelons of rock. If you don't believe me, listen to "Stand," "Orange Crush," or "Pop Song '89."
4. Surfer Rosa, The Pixies
5. Isn't Anything, My Bloody Valentine
6. ...And Justice For All, Metallica
7. It Takes a Nation of Millions To Hold Us Back, Public Enemy
8. Our Beloved Revolutionary Sweetheart, Camper Van Beethoven
9. Operation: Mindcrime, Queensryche
10. I'm Your Man, Leonard Cohen. I had a hard time finishing this top ten, so for my last selection of '88 I chose an album that was pretty good though not exactly essential. Cohen as an artist is hard to absorb quickly; he's a poet first and foremost, and his arrangements can be sparse and samey, but once you peel away the layers of his lyrics it's hard to back off. Man was his comeback album of sorts, 41 minutes of palpable angst and lovelorn ennui.

BEST SINGLES OF 1988 (in no particular order)

"Handle With Care," The Traveling Wilburys
"Under the Milky Way," The Church
"What's On Your Mind (Pure Energy)," Information Society
"Chains of Love," Erasure
"Desire," U2
"Finish What Ya Started," Van Halen
"Stigmata," Ministry
"Fast Car," Tracy Chapman
"Sweet Jane," Cowboy Junkies
"Apron Strings," Everything But the Girl

BEST VIDEOS OF 1988

1. "Sweet Child O' Mine," Guns n' Roses. The biggest rock band on the planet in the flesh. It's not so much a showcase of Axl and Slash as it is for everyone involved. It doesn't hurt that it's an awesome song, either.
2. "New Sensation," INXS. Pretty, pretty lights...
3. "Every Rose Has Its Thorn," Poison. The Camembert of '80s metal cheese.

BEST ALBUMS OF 1989

1. Paul's Boutique, Beastie Boys. On the heels of Licensed to Ill and an ugly breakup with their original label, the New York rap-rock trio wandered into their sophomore effort with both high expectations and nothing to lose. The end result was a record that ushered sampling as an art form; so loaded with random lyrics and beats from older, more familiar songs that an effort like this could never be equaled, mostly because it risks copyright infringement. Check out "Shake Your Rump" or "The Sounds of Science."
2. Doolittle, The Pixies. In the late '80s it was hard to find a band anywhere near as cool as The Pixies, and their second album finds them at the peak of their creative powers. Harnassing the noise of their first album for something a little more melodic, Doolittle is bolstered by the tight songwriting of frontman Black Francis and the punchy bass of Kim Deal.
3. Disintegration, The Cure. Another career-defining album, this time from goth forefather Robert Smith and his mopey band of minstrels. Gloom and doom rarely sounds this alluring.
4. Three Feet High and Rising, De La Soul
5. The Stone Roses, The Stone Roses
6. Full Moon Fever, Tom Petty
7. 13 Songs, Fugazi
8. Energy, Operation Ivy
9. Letter From Home, The Pat Metheny Group
10. Cosmic Thing, The B-52s. After the death of founding member Ricky Wilson in 1985, the remaining members of the Athens, GA-based new wave band were left for dead on the music scene. That's what makes their comeback album so curious to listen to. There's no bitterness or pride being swallowed; they dusted themselves off and went back to making fun, catchy pop music. "Love Shack" is filled with goofy, unbridled joy, while "Roam" could be interpreted as a vaguely defined allusion for the band's slow rise from oblivion.

BEST SINGLES OF 1989 (in no particular order)

"Like a Prayer," Madonna
"She Drives Me Crazy," Fine Young Cannibals
"Veronica," Elvis Costello
"Living in the Free World," Neil Young
"The Downeaster Alexa," Billy Joel
"The Living Years," Mike + The Mechanics
"The End of the Innocence," Don Henley
"Bust a Move," Young MC
"Knock Me Down," Red Hot Chili Peppers
"Head Like a Hole," Nine Inch Nails

BEST VIDEOS OF 1989

1. "One," Metallica. It's tough to say at what point Metallica sold out. Was it The Black Album? When they cut their hair? When they released a live album with a symphony orchestra? The Napster flap? Some diehards would suggest Lars, James, et al. jumped the shark with this video, a somber and somewhat grotesque story of a man who just wants to feel something... anything...
2. "Janie's Got a Gun," Aerosmith. A brutal, realistic look at child abuse, and a precursor to a string of '90s videos that dealt with heavy social issues.
3. "If I Could Turn Back Time," Cher. Well, uh... um... just click on the link, okay?

Your thoughts?