30 Teams, 30 Haiku: My 2023 Baseball Preview

After a wobbly start to the 2022 season, 2023 brought tremendous momentum to baseball, courtesy of a much-watched international tournament. With all due respect to the Czech team and their grounder-shagging prowess, the real show is here.

*notes wild card

AL EAST

1. Yankees. Early injuries/are concerning; with deep cast/who am I to Judge?

2. Blue Jays*. Young, hot talent at/ev’ry position; bullpen/woes might prove fatal.

3. Rays*. Creative lineup/and stud rotation will keep/The Trop a hot spot.

4. Orioles. Feisty young birds shocked/us all last year; lackluster/SPs won’t keep up.

5. Red Sox. Here’s the Story: all/their pitchers are injured, with/two big infield gaps. 

AL CENTRAL

1. Guardians. Best of sorry bunch/stacked farm system lurks behind/84-win club.

2. Twins. Victors, somehow of/the Correa war; beyond/that, not much to boast.

3. White Sox. Besides Benny, key/issues weren’t addressed; time for/summer of Bummer?

4. Royals. Keep your Witts about/you; subpar SPs hinder/young, regal offense.

5. Tigers. Assuming Baez/rebounds and young arms adjust/these kitties have claws.

AL WEST

1. Astros. Wheeling and dealing/suits the champs; new faces keep/fans banging on cans.

2. Mariners*. Above water at/last; young, dangerous seamen/need a switch hitter.

3. Rangers. Free agent pitchers/must stay healthy; lack of left/fielder is glaring.

4. Angels. Give up thinking Trout/and Ohtani will ever/reign in Anaheim.

5. A’s. Bolts-out rebuild yet/again; budget pachyderms/seek move to Vegas.

NL EAST

1. Phillies. Losing Bryce wasn't/nice; after surprise run, wins/won't come on a Trea. 

2. Mets*. Big Citi spenders/can high-risk old arms curb next/October collapse?

3. Braves*. Beyond Acuna/and Albies, one hopes patchwork/left field has Wright stuff.

4. Marlins. Alcantara can’t/carry this team– think fourteenth/straight losing season.

5. Nationals. Strasburg is injured/(shocker!) so DC, go watch/Ovechkin instead.

NL CENTRAL

1. Cardinals. Contreras, traidor/with so-so arms, productive/bats set the (Noot)baar.

2. Brewers. Small ball, Cream City/top tier rotation offset/by lack of power.

3. Cubs. For whom Bellinger/tolls; infinite (Pat) wisdom/says new faces thrive.

4. Reds. Time to trade Votto/this machine needs rebuilding/don’t waste the old man!

5. Pirates. These Bucs won’t compete/weird mix of young and old, but/Cruz stands tall at short.

NL WEST

1. Dodgers. 100 wins for/sure; place your Betts now for big/budget, elite squad.

2. Padres*. SoCal high drama/gutted farm system won’t help/if things go sour.

3. Giants. After ‘22/thud, who knows what to expect/Webb of mystery.

4. D-Backs. A Gallen of hope/for young bats; rotation depth/curbs upward progress.

5. Rockies. Thin air haplessness/behind Bryant and McMahon/…meh. Rebuild awaits!

AL MVP: Shohei Ohtani, Angels

NL MVP: Mookie Betts, Dodgers 

AL Cy Young: Alek Manoah, Blue Jays

NL Cy Young: Max Fried, Braves

AL Rookie of the Year: Triston Casas, Red Sox

NL Rookie of the Year: Corbin Carroll, D-Backs

First Manager Fired: Derek Shelton, Pirates

2023 World Series: Dodgers over Astros in 6

Your thoughts?

(710)