30 Teams, 30 Haiku: My 2026 Baseball Preview

Yes, I know the Giants-Yankees game on Netflix was Wednesday night. For most baseball enthusiasts, the real Opening Day is Thursday, and as always I come prepared with 510 syllables of prognostication. (Asterisks note wild cards)


AL EAST

1. Yankees: Bevy of pitching/prospects; now back home, will we/watch Judge choke again?

2. Blue Jays*: Even without Bo/new winning culture accrues/with the exchange rate.

3. Red Sox: Haphazard roster/oddly built; give Breslow a/Lego set, pronto!

4. Orioles: Too many prospects/rushed up; new bats compensate/for lack of an ace.

5. Rays: Too good for last; rash/of injuries gives deep farm/system a long look.



AL CENTRAL

1. Tigers: Justin's victory/lap hopes to curb another/September collapse.

2. Royals*: Jac, one of a kind/Playoff return in the cards/with Ragans bounce-back.

3. Guardians: Status quo is not/enough; can grit and moxie/hide lack of power?

4. Twins: Fire sale, Buxton/remains; these pesky unknowns/might play spoiler.

5. White Sox: Fun, young energy/party like it's 99/...losses, minimum.



AL WEST

1. Mariners: No sea legs here; tight/young core floats way beyond this/ho-hum division.

2. Astros*: Formidable bats/...on paper; Hunter Brown will/fish for run support.

3. Rangers: Too injury-prone/to predict; Langford, lone star/to play every day.

4. Athletics: Feisty young bats rake/but with soft arms, 85/high-scoring losses.

5. Angels: Yikes! Manoah and/Greyson are their aces? Trout/further goes to waste.



NL EAST

1. Mets: Stearns' shake-up must pay/off late in the year; prospects/won't be Benge-warmers.

2. Phillies*: New Wheeze Kids? Aging/core still has fight; Bryson Stott/due for a breakthrough.

3. Braves*: Dark horse, if healthy/a full year of Acuna/is wishful thinking.

4. Marlins: Infield defense, sole/saving grace; Morel at first/a curious move.

5. Nationals: Youth is served, on and/off the field; middle relief/will get a workout.



NL CENTRAL

1. Cubs: Bregman doesn't miss/the playoffs; deep roster will/ensure streak goes on.

2. Brewers: Low-budget wonders/elite bullpen's ground ball rate/is a saving grace.

3. Reds: Over .500/if young bats support Suarez/and Greene is healthy.

4. Pirates: Konnor at short, long/on potential; can new bats/placate wary Skenes?

5. Cardinals: Whether Wetherholt/produces, Redbird rebuild/is now in full swing.



NL WEST

1. Dodgers: Sets cash ablaze like/a Socal wildfire/shrewd anti-heroes.

2. Padres*: A healthy Merrill/and nasty bullpen enough/to beat LA? Eh...

3. Giants: Vitello, the old/college try; "huge" risks must pay/off at Oracle.

4. D-Backs: Ketel, not traded/another playoff near-miss/looms if pitching wilts.

5. Rockies: Purple punching bag/Goodman anchors bad lineup/and worse rotation.




AL MVP: Cal Raleigh, Mariners

NL MVP: Shohei Ohtani, Dodgers

AL Cy Young: Tarik Skubal, Tigers

NL Cy Young: Paul Skenes, Pirates

AL ROY: Kevin McGonigle, Tigers

NL ROY: Nolan McLean, Mets

First Manager Fired: Mark Kotsay, A's

2026 World Series: Dodgers over Tigers in 5


Thoughts?

(766)

32 Teams, 32 Haiku: My 2025 NFL Preview

 

You know the drill:

*notes wild card

AFC NORTH

1. Ravens (12-5) Elite... until the/playoffs; rookie kicker is/only glaring concern.

2. Bengals* (10-7) Al Golden, new Vic/Fangio? Burrow-led O/can't win ten alone.

3. Steelers (8-9) Mister Rodgers' new/neighborhood; new O faces/contrast steady D.

4. Browns (5-12) Crowded QB room/among other issues; good/D-line stops pass rush.

AFC EAST

1. Bills (11-6) Allen to Kincaid/alone could carry the O/that new look D, though...

2. Dolphins (9-8) Locker room drama/makes Tua's head spin; can they/(Storm) Duck the friction?

3. Patriots (8-9) Vrabel is able/but to get this O going/it's gonna be... Maye.

4. Jets (4-13) Post-Aaron, Woody/is Field-ing a low risk bet/at QB ...for now.

AFC SOUTH

1. Texans (11-6) Low-key contender/if Stroud regains rookie form/and D-line still cooks. 

2. Jaguars (9-8) By-the-book Cats shake/it up with Hunter; patience/for Trevor wears thin.

3. Colts (5-12) Danny Dimes ponies/up; Taylor, Pittman, Warren/all stuck in first gear.

4. Titans (4-13) Stud O-line, Ward of/gifted young QB; Barton/sole vet linebacker.

AFC WEST

1. Chiefs (13-4) Mahomes isn't done/explosive plays needed to/make Worthy worthy.

2. Broncos* (10-7) Nix plays it safe as/top-tier secondary grinds/first downs to a halt.

3. Chargers* (10-7) Justin's pass stats mean/nothing without an O-line/Safety surplus helps.

4. Raiders (7-10) Geno inherits/gobs of weapons; will old Pete/right this motley ship?

NFC NORTH

1. Lions (13-4) New coaches, same Goff/Sonic & Knuckles tag-team/for elusive rings.

2. Packers* (10-7) Trading for Parsons/overshadows weak back end/like (not Love) the O.

3. Vikings (9-8) Recent draft picks aren't/impacting; heat on healthy/JJ, other kids.

4. Bears (8-9) On paper, new look/O could be entertaining/if Caleb makes strides.

NFC EAST

1. Eagles (14-3) High flying O keeps/soaring; Moro Ojomo/low-key sack leader?

2. Commanders* (12-5) Daniels, two-way threat/immediately elite/but old D might fade.

3. Cowboys (8-9) Parsons parses all/trade options; "all in" squad sure/looks like status quo.

4. Giants (5-11) Throwing (Jaxson) Darts/to see what sticks; good D-line/carries Blue burden.

NFC SOUTH

1. Bucs (10-7) Butchered Baker needs/playmakers; no edge pressure/means short playoff run.

2. Falcons (7-10) Young edges carry/patchwork D; Bijan and Drake/go hard for Penix.

3. Panthers (6-11) Which Bryce will show up/anxious ankle-biter, cool/mite or small wonder?

4. Saints (3-14) Bring back the paper/bag "hats," young Tyler isn't/ready for Shough-time.

NFC WEST

1. Niners (12-5) Brock needs receivers/Jauan wants a raise; question/marks on solid squad.

2. Rams* (11-6) McVay props up old/Stafford for another year/with bright young wideouts.

3. Seahawks (8-9) Gallant gulls, frugal/yet bold; Charbonnet becomes/Darnold's fave target.

4. Cardinals (7-10) Marvin is starvin'/to break out; healthy Kyler/makes Redbirds dark horse?

MVP: Jalen Hurts, Eagles

OROY: Ashton Jeanty, Raiders

DROY: Mykel Williams, Niners

First head coach fired: Brian Daboll, Giants

Super Bowl LX: Eagles 27, Bills 20

(756)

30 Teams, 30 Haiku: My 2025 Baseball Preview

Spring has sprung! Granted, the Cubs and Dodgers already kicked off the '25 regular season in Japan on St. Patrick's Day, but really everything begins in earnest on March 27th (which is still too early). I'm guardedly optimistic about my Royals after a surprise playoff run last year, but after only three playoff appearances since Reagan was president, any October ball is frosting on the cake. Regardless, I intend to catch a bunch of minor league games this year, both out of state and at 35th and Shields. 

*notes wild card

NL EAST

1. Braves. Keep Sale away from/the scissors; if healthy, look/out; depth is crucial.

2. Mets.* Juan puzzle piece from/contention; Kodai moments/few and far between.

3. Phillies. High-paid vets rack up/K's; Trea's summer fade hinders/consistent roster.

4. Nationals. Lack of impact guys/curbs youngsters' growth spurt; will Gore/ever be an ace?

5. Marlins. Another fishy/fire sale; Sandy, Weathers/squandered; sixty wins.

NL CENTRAL

1. Cubs. Talent on paper/hasn't done much; Tucker must/rake or Hoyer's toast.

2. Brewers. Good farm system fuels/Crew; lack of power, bullpen/questions still persist.

3. Reds. Tito's handmade crew/new faces takes burden off/Jeimer and Elly.

4. Pirates. Skenes leads sneaky-good/rotation; offense too soft/to really threaten.

5. Cardinals. Expect another/slog; transition to Chaim/won't start with "mazel!"

NL WEST

1. Dodgers. Too rich, too gifted/to fail; stud rotation can/withstand injuries.

2. Padres*. Ownership dispute/is slightly more compelling/than this good roster.

3. D-Backs*. Yet another west/team with great pitching; maybe/move to the Central?

4. Giants. No one is hitting/30 jacks here; another/pitching-first lineup.

5. Rockies. High altitude, low/bar to clear; the sole Victor/is pitcher Vodnik.

AL EAST

1. Yankees. Low ERA arms/cover Cole's absence; Volpe/breakout, overdue.

2. Orioles*. Potent young bats cool/off in the fall; with Burnes gone/who is the ace here?

3. Red Sox*. Bregman seizes hot/corner; Roman (Anthony)/empire rises.

4. Rays. Minor league park means/short fence dingers; too bad their/bats are Triple-A.

5. Blue Jays. Vlad Junior can't score/by himself; aged rotation/stopgap for rebuild.

AL CENTRAL

1. Guardians. Kwan, Jose set the/offense tone; if Williams/stays healthy, watch out!

2. Royals*. Witt, Pasquatch, Salvy/...then a drop-off. India/inked to upgrade bats.

3. Tigers. Can Gleyber adjust/to deep new digs? Young SPs/make these kitties purr.

4. Twins. On paper, righties/fear this lineup; injuries/give fans deja vu.

5. White Sox. Fifty wins is not/impossible; low Rate of/sudden turnaround.

AL WEST

1. Rangers. Texas-size IL/looks all clear (for now); will we/ever see deGrom?

2. Astros. More with less, again/good young arms hope Alvarez/stays healthy all year.

3. Mariners. J-Rod must find his/sea legs after down year; can/other bats Raleigh?

4. Angels. Another so-so/rotation abrades weary/Trout's move to DH.

5. Athletics. Unhomed pachyderms/Rooker, Butler will score runs/in... Sacramento?

AL MVP: Bobby Witt Jr, Royals

NL MVP: Shohei Ohtani, Dodgers

AL Cy Young: Tarik Skubal, Tigers

NL Cy Young: Zack Wheeler, Phillies

AL ROY: Roman Anthony, Red Sox

NL ROY: Roki Sasaki, Dodgers

First Manager Fired: Ron Washington, Angels

2025 World Series: Dodgers over Guardians in 5

(748)

32 Teams, 32 Haiku: My (Slightly Delayed) 2024 NFL Preview

Due to circumstance, I did not finish my annual pigskin forecast until after the Chiefs-Ravens game was completed, but just before the Packers-Eagles Brazil tilt. Regardless, to my small but loyal legion of readers (and short-form poetry enthusiasts) I didn't want to let you down.

*asterisks note wild cards

AFC NORTH

1. Ravens (12-5) One toe over the/line, sweet Jesus; next time, give/the ball to Henry.

2. Bengals* (10-7) Young and well-scouted/a full season of healthy/Joe really matters.

3. Steelers (7-10) About average/(again), assuming Wilson/has anything left.

4. Browns (5-12) Stefanski, sous chef/cooks with odd ingredients/but these Dawgs eat bones.

AFC EAST

1. Dolphins (11-6) Still feasting on bad/teams; do they have the Wright stuff/to really contend?

2. Bills (10-7) Wide right? Wide left? Give/Allen some targets first, *then*/rebuild special teams.

3. Jets (8-9) Improved on paper/but Rodgers is 40 and/he's not Tom Brady.

4. Patriots (3-14) Maye day, Maye day! These/Yanks are spiraling; pass rush/only saving grace.

AFC SOUTH

1. Texans (11-6) Say it's loud, they're back/and it's Stroud; healthy targets/augment the danger.

2. Jaguars (9-8) Beyond Trevor, these/cats are mid; blond bomber needs/a full top-tier year.

3. Colts (8-9) On paper, Tony/and Taylor should feast; they're dark/horses if healthy.

4. Titans (7-10) New pass-happy O/compliment corner upgrades/but Levis still stinks.

AFC WEST

1. Chiefs (12-5) Super Bowl three-peat/seems imminent, but yes, let's/fixate on Taylor.

2. Chargers* (10-7) History versus/Harbaugh; salary cap curbs/progress or fortunes.

3. Raiders (8-9) Defense… to the Maxx!/Receivers carry slapdash/O; in short, middling.

4. Broncos (6-11) Nix takes his licks; quick/release, book smarts turns fillies/into dark horses.

NFC NORTH

1. Lions (12-5) Outside receiver/sole concern; the claws are out/at long last, Motown!

2. Bears* (10-7) Caleb, golden boy/the elite QB they've dreamed/of, or next Cutler?

3. Packers (8-9) Nice try, Romeo/Love has other options; new/D scheme is X-factor.

4. Vikings (7-10) No JJ? Oh boy/this O is only as good/as Darnold serves up.

NFC EAST

1. Eagles (11-5) Mere thoughts of last year's/collapse still Hurt(s); with Saquon/there's no room to fail.

2. Cowboys (9-8) No changes, all in/win a title or rebuild/like Jerry Jones' face.

3. Giants (7-10) Dimes or Cutlets, this/O is boom or bust; pass rush/carries wobbly D.

4. Commanders (4-13) Patchwork O-line sinks/Beltway betterment; Jayden/will miss LSU.

NFC SOUTH

1. Falcons (10-7) A healthy Cousins/hears London calling; middling/D overt setback.

2. Buccaneers (9-8) Baker and Evans/a fun combo, but can they/establish the run?

3. Saints (7-10) A gumbo of "ifs"/O-line attrition, aging/D, and so-so Carr.

4. Panthers (4-13) Wee Young, next Flutie/sings “Mingo was his name-o”/as rebuild protracts.

NFC WEST

1. Niners (12-5) The next team with a/Super Bowl hangover; one/fears how they'll falter.

2. Cardinals* (11-6) An O starvin' for/Marvin; if all goes right, eat/drink, and be Murray!

3. Rams* (10-7) Avila carries/soft O-line; aging Stoddard/has one good year left.

4. Seahawks (8-9) Good receivers, doomed/in strong West; top-tier ST/keeps birds from crashing.

NFL MVP: Patrick Mahomes, Chiefs
OROY: Caleb Williams, Bears
DROY: Laiatu Latu, Colts
First head coach fired: Brian Daboll, Giants
Super Bowl LIX: Chiefs over Lions, 30-20

Thoughts?

(737)

30 Teams, 30 Haiku: My 2024 MLB Preview

 

Is it late March already? Spring training has closed shop, the lawns are cut, the dirt is pristine, and I already smell the $10 hot dogs and $12 beers. Baseball has started anew, and again I'm guardedly optimistic about my Royals. The AL Central is the weakest in baseball, and even last year's best team (the Twinkies) aren't necessarily striking the iron while it's hot. This division is wide open, and if the stars align KC might crack .500 and sneak into October ball. (Let me dream.)

As always, I cover all 30 teams, 17 syllables at a time. Asterisks note wild cards.

NL EAST

1. Braves. Can’t break their Stride(r)/barely anyone beats them/…except the Phillies.

2. Phillies.* Is Schwarber the next/Rob Deer, Frank Howard, or one/pudgy unicorn?

3. Marlins. Without Sandy, the/pitching still shines; injured Jazz/gives offense the blues. 

4. Mets. A healthy Edwin/ensures eight inning games; in/Flushing, they stand pat.

5. Nationals. Still, still rebuilding/patience on the Potomac/Wood, Crews not ready.

NL CENTRAL

1. Cubs. Third base needs Morel/support; enough talent to/put Taillon first place.

2. Reds. Young, deep, and feisty/once Elly figures out big/league pitching, watch out!

3. Cardinals. Last year? Rock bottom/the “Redbird Way” still needs a/GPS, pronto.

4. Brewers. Youthful rotation/suggests a rebuild, yet their/bats still foment runs.

5. Pirates. This frigate might win/70; Keller captains/soggy staff of arms.

NL WEST

1. Dodgers. Ohtani was a/sure bet; deep pockets, too big/to fail, boom or bust.

2. D-Backs.* Snakes alive, they’re still/a dark horse; rotation depth/remains an issue.

3. Padres.* Preller the seller/pared-back Friars must make more/with less; King must reign.

4. Giants. Webb of deception/was Kapler the issue, or/are they just middling?

5. Rockies. Thin air, thin talent/Rocky Mountain wayward can’t/trade injured Bryant.

AL EAST

1. Orioles. Early birds score the/runs; adios, Angelos/good morn, Baltimore!

2. Yankees.* Soto might give Judge/Juan shot at a title; Boone’s/hot seat is charring.

3. Rays.* Wander no more, this/team is focused on winning/now (they bargain well).

4. Blue Jays. Can anyone hit/besides Bo? Good rotation/begs for run support.

5. Red Sox. Strange mix of young, old/defense issues still linger/Cora tweaks the core.

AL CENTRAL

1. Guardians. The best by default/power outage, outfield woes/persist, yet still tops.

2. Twins. Playoff monkey off/their backs, slashed payroll boosts youth/Not enough lefties.

3. Royals. Bolstered bullpen hopes/Ragans is economic/amid well-paid arms.

4. Tigers. Detroit Mercy, health/is concerning here; young arms/counter greenhorn bats.

5. White Sox. Hired ex-Royals/aren’t needed; Reinsdorf wrecks this/club all by himself.

AL WEST

1. Astros. Victor, upgrade at/backstop; soft bullpen hinders/a constant lineup.

2. Rangers*. Early DL woes/raise concerns; Wyatt won’t be/quiet for too long.

3. Mariners. Middle of the road/O (besides J-Rod); arms must/rally ‘round Raleigh. 

4. Angels. Trout, Rendon, Detmers/need rebound years; leap (O’Hoppe?)/over .500?

5. Athletics. Mount Davis, old slum/Vegas move, complicated/Sad situation.

NL ROY: Yoshinobu Yamamoto, Dodgers

AL ROY: Wyatt Langford, Rangers

NL Cy Young: Zach Wheeler, Phillies

AL Cy Young: Kevin Gausman, Blue Jays

NL MVP: Ronald Acuna, Braves

AL MVP: Julio Rodriguez, Mariners

First Manager Fired: Bud Black, Rockies

2024 World Series: Dodgers over Rangers in 7

(729)

32 Teams, 32 Haiku: My 2023 NFL Preview

 

After a remarkably wild summer here in Chicago --at least, as the weather as concerned-- football season sort of crept up on us. The Cubs are watchable but not contending, and the other city sports offerings have been a letdown, so why not get in on the Bears at entry level? As for the NFL as a whole, the AFC has a surplus of elite QBs, balanced out by an NFC that has quality wideouts to spare, and a good set of linebackers are a commodity no matter where you are. With world champion Kansas City hosting Detroit --two interesting teams, but hardly a rivalry-- to start the year, where does everyone really stand? 

Yes, I'm starting my annual pigskin delve with my boldest prediction. 

*notes wild card

NFC NORTH

1. Lions (10-7). Music in Motown/again; in Great Lakes dogfight/kitties claw to top.

2. Vikings (9-8). Close wins, lucky breaks/won’t sustain; can Flores fix/the secondary?

3. Bears (8-9). Fields is fun to watch/but wins are scant; porous D/curbs any progress.

4. Packers (7-10). No summer of Love/in Wisconsin tundra; soft/D evokes Swiss cheese.

NFC EAST

1. Eagles (13-4). Iffy holding calls/aside, vengeance is likely/so elite, it Hurts.

2. Cowboys (10-7)*. Dak says he won't throw/15 interceptions... he'll/throw 16 instead.

3. Giants (8-9). This year’s boom or bust/squad; Daboll and Jones will thrive/or fail, simply put.

4. Commanders (5-12). New owners, who dis?/Crafty D, patchwork O means/more Beltway boredom.

NFC SOUTH

1. Saints (10-7). Oil of Olave/keeps the Carr running; deep D/won’t just pump the brakes.

2. Falcons (8-9). Boo-birds’ high-flying/…ground game? Lack of wideouts eye/of the rebuild storm.

3. Buccaneers (7-10). Brady to Baker/saves some doubloons; younger squad/barely stays afloat.

4. Panthers (6-11). Young Bryce scurries as/O-line falters; low-key D/is Cats’ saving grace.

NFC WEST

1. 49ers (13-4). Purdy persuasion/regardless of who's QB/loaded O will feast.

2. Seahawks (10-7)*. I was wrong about/Geno; offbeat Gulls win with/excess receivers.

3. Rams (7-10). Absurd dead cap space/aging Stafford and Donald/not bad… but a mess.

4. Cardinals (3-14). Marquise attraction/wideout carries O while/Kyler recovers. 

AFC NORTH

1. Bengals (12-5). No average Joes/here; win-now mindset gives Chase/but windows can close.

2. Ravens (11-6)*. Receiver upgrade/(finally) lets Lamar throw/outside the numbers.

3. Steelers (9-8). Rarely bad, that’s not/news; how wicked will Pickett/be in season two?

4. Browns (7-10). D upgrades help, but/Watson rubs us the wrong way/even with a Chubb.

AFC EAST

1. Bills (14-3). If Hyde, Poyer, and/Von can stay healthy, they’ll break/records (and tables).

2. Dolphins (12-5)*. Tua is ready/assuming he’s healthy, or/he’ll die on his Hill.

3. Jets (10-7)*. Does Rodgers play out/of pocket… or a cave? There’s/something in the Sauce.

4. Patriots (7-10). How the tables turn/Mac must attack, or Kraft will/Jones for a rebuild.

AFC SOUTH

1. Jaguars (10-7). Lawrence won’t welk; new/targets burnish his Pro Bowl/case. Cue the bubbles!

2. Titans (8-9). Levis better learn/quick; solid D can’t cover/atrocious O-line.

3. Colts (6-11). It’s Tony Dimes’ time/run-happy O obscures young/buck under center.

4. Texans (5-12). Young with upside, yet/briskly cowed by injuries/new O-line might stun. 

AFC WEST

1. Chiefs (14-3). Youthful D is boom/or bust; with Mahomes, they’ll romp/the West anyway.

2. Chargers (11-6)*. Color me shocked if/they win a playoff game for/once; Horse Knob Herbert?

3. Broncos (8-9). Forget the diva/treatment, Peyton will force Russ/to earn his paycheck.

4. Raiders (5-12). Too many Pats’ hand/me downs (Jimmy G, Hoyer)/hold back Josh Jacobs.

NFL MVP: Patrick Mahomes, Chiefs

Offensive POY: Christian McCaffrey, Niners

Defensive POY: Ahmad “Sauce” Gardner, Jets

Offensive ROY: Bijan Robinson, Falcons

Defensive ROY: Jalen Carter, Eagles

First Head Coach Fired: Josh McDaniels, Raiders

Super Bowl LVIII: Niners 30, Bills 26

(718)

30 Teams, 30 Haiku: My 2023 Baseball Preview

After a wobbly start to the 2022 season, 2023 brought tremendous momentum to baseball, courtesy of a much-watched international tournament. With all due respect to the Czech team and their grounder-shagging prowess, the real show is here.

*notes wild card

AL EAST

1. Yankees. Early injuries/are concerning; with deep cast/who am I to Judge?

2. Blue Jays*. Young, hot talent at/ev’ry position; bullpen/woes might prove fatal.

3. Rays*. Creative lineup/and stud rotation will keep/The Trop a hot spot.

4. Orioles. Feisty young birds shocked/us all last year; lackluster/SPs won’t keep up.

5. Red Sox. Here’s the Story: all/their pitchers are injured, with/two big infield gaps. 

AL CENTRAL

1. Guardians. Best of sorry bunch/stacked farm system lurks behind/84-win club.

2. Twins. Victors, somehow of/the Correa war; beyond/that, not much to boast.

3. White Sox. Besides Benny, key/issues weren’t addressed; time for/summer of Bummer?

4. Royals. Keep your Witts about/you; subpar SPs hinder/young, regal offense.

5. Tigers. Assuming Baez/rebounds and young arms adjust/these kitties have claws.

AL WEST

1. Astros. Wheeling and dealing/suits the champs; new faces keep/fans banging on cans.

2. Mariners*. Above water at/last; young, dangerous seamen/need a switch hitter.

3. Rangers. Free agent pitchers/must stay healthy; lack of left/fielder is glaring.

4. Angels. Give up thinking Trout/and Ohtani will ever/reign in Anaheim.

5. A’s. Bolts-out rebuild yet/again; budget pachyderms/seek move to Vegas.

NL EAST

1. Phillies. Losing Bryce wasn't/nice; after surprise run, wins/won't come on a Trea. 

2. Mets*. Big Citi spenders/can high-risk old arms curb next/October collapse?

3. Braves*. Beyond Acuna/and Albies, one hopes patchwork/left field has Wright stuff.

4. Marlins. Alcantara can’t/carry this team– think fourteenth/straight losing season.

5. Nationals. Strasburg is injured/(shocker!) so DC, go watch/Ovechkin instead.

NL CENTRAL

1. Cardinals. Contreras, traidor/with so-so arms, productive/bats set the (Noot)baar.

2. Brewers. Small ball, Cream City/top tier rotation offset/by lack of power.

3. Cubs. For whom Bellinger/tolls; infinite (Pat) wisdom/says new faces thrive.

4. Reds. Time to trade Votto/this machine needs rebuilding/don’t waste the old man!

5. Pirates. These Bucs won’t compete/weird mix of young and old, but/Cruz stands tall at short.

NL WEST

1. Dodgers. 100 wins for/sure; place your Betts now for big/budget, elite squad.

2. Padres*. SoCal high drama/gutted farm system won’t help/if things go sour.

3. Giants. After ‘22/thud, who knows what to expect/Webb of mystery.

4. D-Backs. A Gallen of hope/for young bats; rotation depth/curbs upward progress.

5. Rockies. Thin air haplessness/behind Bryant and McMahon/…meh. Rebuild awaits!

AL MVP: Shohei Ohtani, Angels

NL MVP: Mookie Betts, Dodgers 

AL Cy Young: Alek Manoah, Blue Jays

NL Cy Young: Max Fried, Braves

AL Rookie of the Year: Triston Casas, Red Sox

NL Rookie of the Year: Corbin Carroll, D-Backs

First Manager Fired: Derek Shelton, Pirates

2023 World Series: Dodgers over Astros in 6

Your thoughts?

(710)