30 Teams, 30 Haiku: My 2026 Baseball Preview

Yes, I know the Giants-Yankees game on Netflix was Wednesday night. For most baseball enthusiasts, the real Opening Day is Thursday, and as always I come prepared with 510 syllables of prognostication. (Asterisks note wild cards)


AL EAST

1. Yankees: Bevy of pitching/prospects; now back home, will we/watch Judge choke again?

2. Blue Jays*: Even without Bo/new winning culture accrues/with the exchange rate.

3. Red Sox: Haphazard roster/oddly built; give Breslow a/Lego set, pronto!

4. Orioles: Too many prospects/rushed up; new bats compensate/for lack of an ace.

5. Rays: Too good for last; rash/of injuries gives deep farm/system a long look.



AL CENTRAL

1. Tigers: Justin's victory/lap hopes to curb another/September collapse.

2. Royals*: Jac, one of a kind/Playoff return in the cards/with Ragans bounce-back.

3. Guardians: Status quo is not/enough; can grit and moxie/hide lack of power?

4. Twins: Fire sale, Buxton/remains; these pesky unknowns/might play spoiler.

5. White Sox: Fun, young energy/party like it's 99/...losses, minimum.



AL WEST

1. Mariners: No sea legs here; tight/young core floats way beyond this/ho-hum division.

2. Astros*: Formidable bats/...on paper; Hunter Brown will/fish for run support.

3. Rangers: Too injury-prone/to predict; Langford, lone star/to play every day.

4. Athletics: Feisty young bats rake/but with soft arms, 85/high-scoring losses.

5. Angels: Yikes! Manoah and/Greyson are their aces? Trout/further goes to waste.



NL EAST

1. Mets: Stearns' shake-up must pay/off late in the year; prospects/won't be Benge-warmers.

2. Phillies*: New Wheeze Kids? Aging/core still has fight; Bryson Stott/due for a breakthrough.

3. Braves*: Dark horse, if healthy/a full year of Acuna/is wishful thinking.

4. Marlins: Infield defense, sole/saving grace; Morel at first/a curious move.

5. Nationals: Youth is served, on and/off the field; middle relief/will get a workout.



NL CENTRAL

1. Cubs: Bregman doesn't miss/the playoffs; deep roster will/ensure streak goes on.

2. Brewers: Low-budget wonders/elite bullpen's ground ball rate/is a saving grace.

3. Reds: Over .500/if young bats support Suarez/and Greene is healthy.

4. Pirates: Konnor at short, long/on potential; can new bats/placate wary Skenes?

5. Cardinals: Whether Wetherholt/produces, Redbird rebuild/is now in full swing.



NL WEST

1. Dodgers: Sets cash ablaze like/a Socal wildfire/shrewd anti-heroes.

2. Padres*: A healthy Merrill/and nasty bullpen enough/to beat LA? Eh...

3. Giants: Vitello, the old/college try; "huge" risks must pay/off at Oracle.

4. D-Backs: Ketel, not traded/another playoff near-miss/looms if pitching wilts.

5. Rockies: Purple punching bag/Goodman anchors bad lineup/and worse rotation.




AL MVP: Cal Raleigh, Mariners

NL MVP: Shohei Ohtani, Dodgers

AL Cy Young: Tarik Skubal, Tigers

NL Cy Young: Paul Skenes, Pirates

AL ROY: Kevin McGonigle, Tigers

NL ROY: Nolan McLean, Mets

First Manager Fired: Mark Kotsay, A's

2026 World Series: Dodgers over Tigers in 5


Thoughts?

(766)

30 Teams, 30 Haiku: My 2024 MLB Preview

 

Is it late March already? Spring training has closed shop, the lawns are cut, the dirt is pristine, and I already smell the $10 hot dogs and $12 beers. Baseball has started anew, and again I'm guardedly optimistic about my Royals. The AL Central is the weakest in baseball, and even last year's best team (the Twinkies) aren't necessarily striking the iron while it's hot. This division is wide open, and if the stars align KC might crack .500 and sneak into October ball. (Let me dream.)

As always, I cover all 30 teams, 17 syllables at a time. Asterisks note wild cards.

NL EAST

1. Braves. Can’t break their Stride(r)/barely anyone beats them/…except the Phillies.

2. Phillies.* Is Schwarber the next/Rob Deer, Frank Howard, or one/pudgy unicorn?

3. Marlins. Without Sandy, the/pitching still shines; injured Jazz/gives offense the blues. 

4. Mets. A healthy Edwin/ensures eight inning games; in/Flushing, they stand pat.

5. Nationals. Still, still rebuilding/patience on the Potomac/Wood, Crews not ready.

NL CENTRAL

1. Cubs. Third base needs Morel/support; enough talent to/put Taillon first place.

2. Reds. Young, deep, and feisty/once Elly figures out big/league pitching, watch out!

3. Cardinals. Last year? Rock bottom/the “Redbird Way” still needs a/GPS, pronto.

4. Brewers. Youthful rotation/suggests a rebuild, yet their/bats still foment runs.

5. Pirates. This frigate might win/70; Keller captains/soggy staff of arms.

NL WEST

1. Dodgers. Ohtani was a/sure bet; deep pockets, too big/to fail, boom or bust.

2. D-Backs.* Snakes alive, they’re still/a dark horse; rotation depth/remains an issue.

3. Padres.* Preller the seller/pared-back Friars must make more/with less; King must reign.

4. Giants. Webb of deception/was Kapler the issue, or/are they just middling?

5. Rockies. Thin air, thin talent/Rocky Mountain wayward can’t/trade injured Bryant.

AL EAST

1. Orioles. Early birds score the/runs; adios, Angelos/good morn, Baltimore!

2. Yankees.* Soto might give Judge/Juan shot at a title; Boone’s/hot seat is charring.

3. Rays.* Wander no more, this/team is focused on winning/now (they bargain well).

4. Blue Jays. Can anyone hit/besides Bo? Good rotation/begs for run support.

5. Red Sox. Strange mix of young, old/defense issues still linger/Cora tweaks the core.

AL CENTRAL

1. Guardians. The best by default/power outage, outfield woes/persist, yet still tops.

2. Twins. Playoff monkey off/their backs, slashed payroll boosts youth/Not enough lefties.

3. Royals. Bolstered bullpen hopes/Ragans is economic/amid well-paid arms.

4. Tigers. Detroit Mercy, health/is concerning here; young arms/counter greenhorn bats.

5. White Sox. Hired ex-Royals/aren’t needed; Reinsdorf wrecks this/club all by himself.

AL WEST

1. Astros. Victor, upgrade at/backstop; soft bullpen hinders/a constant lineup.

2. Rangers*. Early DL woes/raise concerns; Wyatt won’t be/quiet for too long.

3. Mariners. Middle of the road/O (besides J-Rod); arms must/rally ‘round Raleigh. 

4. Angels. Trout, Rendon, Detmers/need rebound years; leap (O’Hoppe?)/over .500?

5. Athletics. Mount Davis, old slum/Vegas move, complicated/Sad situation.

NL ROY: Yoshinobu Yamamoto, Dodgers

AL ROY: Wyatt Langford, Rangers

NL Cy Young: Zach Wheeler, Phillies

AL Cy Young: Kevin Gausman, Blue Jays

NL MVP: Ronald Acuna, Braves

AL MVP: Julio Rodriguez, Mariners

First Manager Fired: Bud Black, Rockies

2024 World Series: Dodgers over Rangers in 7

(729)

30 Teams, 30 Haiku: My 2021 Baseball Preview

 It's haiku time!

If it feels like I just posted this seven and a half months ago, well, that's because I did. We're entering our second season of baseball with COVID, and the trepidation has evolved into something peculiar. How many people will be allowed in the stands? How much money will MLB stand to lose between the pandemic, sky-high free agents, and skepticism about the exposed Astros? I don't know to answer those questions, but I know how to break down all the teams in 17 soma: 

* note wild card teams

AL EAST

1. Yankees (98-64) Title contenders/(again) even without Judge/or Stanton healthy.

2. Rays* (97-65) Like the Yanks, without/pitching depth; bats blossom for/Arozarena.

3. Blue Jays (82-80) Like the Rays, with less/pitching still; young lineup has/Springer in their step.

4. Red Sox (76-86) Lost in the shuffle/is new-look Bosox; give them/another year, tops.

5. Orioles (72-90) The (John) Means to win/aren't there yet; Mancini will/return to form, though.

AL CENTRAL

1. Twins (86-76) Cruz, ageless bopper/in soft division, power/makes you see double.

2. White Sox (84-78) Quite overrated/there's upside, but will they grow/up? Ask Drunk Tony. 

3. Royals (81-81) Keep your Whits about/you; improved regals have a/stockade of young arms.

4. Indians (74-88) Name change soon, but these/pitchers aren't anonymous/who plays outfield, though?

5. Tigers (71-91) Outside of Miggy/no star power; young, raw, and/often rough to watch.

AL WEST

1. Astros (99-63) Cheaters, remember?/JV injury hinders/orange redemption.

2. Athletics* (93-69) Minimal changes/are concerning; offense depth?/Especially so.

3. Angels (92-70) Everyone here/Ohtani, Adell, *and* Trout/needs a rebound year.

4. Mariners (67-95) Puget Sound youngsters/competent all-around, but/expect to tread water.

5. Rangers (64-98) Newly rebuilding/good outfield... and not much else/Kiner, team leader?

NL EAST

1. Braves (96-66) After LCS/collapse, deep roster has one/goal in mind: World Champs.

2. Mets* (94-68) Hello, Steve Cohen/free agent bonanza has/fans Flushing with glee.

3. Nationals (87-75) Like '19, sleeper/team with upset potential/but must stay healthy.

4. Phillies (79-83) Big bats, no defense/any team with Bryce will be/quite overrated.

5. Marlins (77-85) These fish kinda stink/last year's Cinderella team/are wearing glass cleats.

NL CENTRAL

1. Brewers (90-72) Love the rotation/*and* the bullpen, but Yelich/must return to form.

2. Cardinals (88-74) Nolan boosts aging/core; possible last run for/Waino and Yadi? 

3. Reds (83-79) In Queen City, more/is less; top-heavy pitching/with hot-or-cold bats.

4. Cubs (80-82) '16 seems like a/distant memory; budget/cuts will continue.

5. Pirates (63-99) New Walmart wonders?/Scabs, lack of prospects, so not/much bang for your Buc.

NL WEST

1. Dodgers (100-62) No discernible/weaknesses makes a repeat/inevitable.

2. Padres* (94-68) Ooooooh, that Snell! Friars/have energy to spare; they/just need a closer. 

3. Giants (71-91) The closest thing to/a spoiler; Posey is/surrounded by youth.

4. D-Backs (70-92) Trending downward in/the desert; can MadBum find/his insanity?

5. Rockies (63-99) Forget Chuck, this whole/team is Nazty; Rox' rebuild/not a gorgeous view.

AL MVP: Mike Trout, Angels

NL MVP: Mookie Betts, Dodgers

AL Cy Young: Shane Bieber, Indians

NL Cy Young: Jacob deGrom, Mets

AL ROY: Ryan Mountcastle, Orioles

NL ROY: Ke'Bryan Hayes, Pirates

First Manager Fired: Joe Girardi, Phillies

2021 World Series: Dodgers over Astros in 6

(674)

30 Teams, 30 Haiku: My 2019 Baseball Preview

Happy Opening Day, everyone! Even though the 2019 season officially kicked off with two M's-A's games (and a disappointingly anti-climatic end to Ichiro's career) in Japan, it really starts today. The sesquicentennial of professional baseball begins with a number of interesting stories, least of all the battle of "haves" and "have-nots" in the American League. Maybe one team finishes at .500? The chasm between second and third place in the AL Central is already giving me vertigo.

Speaking of the AL Central... I spent last year watching Kansas City and thinking, "yeah, these are the Royals I grew up with." Expectations were modest before the Salvador Perez injury; we (allegedly) have the fastest team in the league, but our rotation has only three MLB-caliber pitchers and our lights-out bullpen from just five years ago is long, long gone. Ah well, at least we're not the Tigers or White Sox.

As for the predictions... you know the drill.

NL EAST
1. Phillies. Bryce? That's pretty nice/Kapler's micromanaging/might be a hindrance.
2. Braves*. Before you ask me/Kolby is not my cousin/...though I surely wish.
3. Nationals. "Rolling with Robles"/Scherzer and young bats ensure/.500 record.
4. Mets. Some curious moves/older, still injury-prone/Diaz? He's legit.
5. Marlins. New colors, same crap/unwatchable hodgepodge of/old, mediocre.

NL CENTRAL
1. Brewers. So underrated/winning with brains and Braun, and/if Nelson breaks out.
2. Cubs*. Windows are closing/meager farm system behind/mostly intact squad.
3. Cardinals. What glitters isn't/Goldy; ace bullpen carries/load off meh SP's.
4. Reds. Sonny days ahead/overhaul has flash, though lack/of depth curbs progress.
5. Pirates. Frugal ownership/stifles; just a weird roster/...or a motley crew?

NL WEST
1. Dodgers. Surplus of pitching/a fading Kershaw is still/rather dangerous.
2. Rockies. Good pitching at Coors?/Only up front; weak bullpen/will curb pennant dreams.
3. Padres. A deep farm system/paired with Machado makes for/2020 hype.
4. D-Backs. All pitching, no bats/losing Souza was brutal/they'll start from scratch soon.
5. Giants. Good grief, this outfield/Bochy stayed one year too long/they'll unload vets soon.

AL EAST
1. Red Sox. Kimbrel's departure/hurts, the rest remains intact/too much depth to lose.
2. Yankees*. Well-rounded as it/is, then they bolster the 'pen?/Easy to Judge that.
3. Rays*. Openers? COME ON/yet the die-hard fans will say/"Wham bam, thank you Pham!"
4. Blue Jays. Not contending, but/make way for little Vlady/and other raw youths.
5. Orioles. Bad, but not boring/new bosses experiment/as youth learns to fly.

AL CENTRAL
1. Indians. Win now, mad scramble/all that Bauer power must/carry the Tribe load.
2. Twins. Underachieving/prospects finally clean up/sleeper playoff team?
3. Royals. No Salvy splashes/the youngsters barely keep their/heads above water.
4. Tigers. A waste of Miggy/but I'll take Gardy over/Ausmus any day.
5. White Sox. Rebuilding hiccups/Eloy and Giolito/need to mature, fast.

AL WEST
1. Astros. Dangerous youth and/a full year of Correa/builds a dynasty.
2. A's. Sketchy rotation/fails to compliment power/bats; home run derby?
3. Angels. Keep swimming, Mike Trout/solid long-term deal, but this/year? They need prayers.
4. Rangers. Gallo, free swinger/symbolizes team gap year/Andrus trade looms near.
5. Mariners. So much turnover/Hunter Strickland, angry fool/throws heat everywhere.

AL MVP: Mike Trout, Angels
NL MVP: Nolan Arenado, Rockies
AL Cy Young: Trevor Bauer, Indians
NL Cy Young: Jacob deGrom, Mets
AL ROY: Vladimir Guerrero Jr., Blue Jays
NL ROY: Nick Senzel, Reds
First Manager Fired: Mickey Callaway, Mets
2019 World Series: Astros over Dodgers

(619)

30 Teams, 30 Haiku: My 2016 Baseball Preview

It seems hard to believe, but the 2016 baseball season starts in a few days. A particularly zany free agent season left more questions than answers; the NL West had more turnovers than a church bake sale, and who finishes last in the AL East is anyone's guess. That followed a bizarre season where Detroit and Cincinnati both finished in last place, a record number of position players pitched in relief --including the ALCS-- and the once-dormant Kansas City Royals hoisted the Commissioner's Trophy (I'm still giddy with disbelief). As I do every year, I'm going to try to make sense of all the mishegoss, 17 syllables at a time.

NOTE: asterisks for wild card picks

AL EAST
1. Blue Jays. Bats over pitching/high-scoring fun ev’ry day/short-term fireworks.
2. Red Sox*. The life of Pablo/gets easier; free agents/will turn things around.
3. Rays. Zen Archer leads arms/they’ll do the heavy lifting/as their bats struggle.
4. Yankees. A-Rod and Beltran/carry the offense; that’s great/...a decade ago.
5. Orioles. Davis, overpaid/Many questions, X-factors/Contenders? Doubtful.

AL CENTRAL
1. Royals. Unlikely world champs/are now sitting ducks; are the/starting arms enough?
2. Tigers*. Beaucoup injuries/derailed last year; weary vets/might prove effective.
3. Indians. Ignore the slow start/Brantley needs to get healthy/to boost dark horse run.
4. Twins. So many prospects/surround old backstop Mauer/expect growing pains.
5. White Sox. Spring training power/surge might not last; weak defense/got a slight upgrade.

AL WEST
1. Astros. Last year's big surprise/another year older; deep/rotation holds edge.
2. Rangers. These old cowpokes have/one more run; too bad the youth/keep getting injured.
3. Angels. Mike Trout, big tuna/superstar, carrying a/mediocre team.
4. Mariners. Ace needs run support/King Felix: "lend me your ears"/Adam Lind helps, kinda.
5. Athletics. Look over Yonder/too many bullpen questions/to avoid dead last.

NL EAST
1. Nationals. Win now or else, Bryce/DC must seize the moment/in spite of Dusty.
2. Mets*. If Wright stays healthy/and Yoenis does more than just/mash, they’ll top the Nats.
3. Marlins. Who is older, Bonds/or Ichiro? Florida/seniors stay active.
4. Phillies. Rebuild in progress/(at last); the future rests in/Nola and Franco.
5. Braves. Freddie Freeman, their/sole legitimate hitter/new ballpark awaits.

NL CENTRAL
1. Cubs. Young guns are ready/win the NLCS or/s*** their pants again?
2. Cardinals. "The Cardinal Way"/is south; don't expect hunt for/Red(bird) October.
3. Pirates. Living on ground balls/and moxie; they're the third best/in a stacked Central.
4. Brewers. Complete overhaul/just beginning; aging Braun/and little muscle.
5. Reds. Votto looks slimmer/younger guys, lighter payroll/but Price writes bad checks.

NL WEST
1. Dodgers. Slight favorites; their/surplus of outfielders will/carry them so far.
2. Giants*. This is an arms race/Cueto joins stacked rotation/in an even year.
3. D-Backs. Not much depth after/Greinke, Miller, and Corbin/more bats needed, too.
4. Padres. Cashner ain't money/healthy hitters make up for/atrocious bullpen.
5. Rockies. Great outfield squandered/can you ask Peyton Manning/if he's ever pitched?

NL MVP: Kris Bryant, Cubs
AL MVP: Mike Trout, Angels
NL Cy Young: Clayton Kershaw, Dodgers
AL Cy Young: Chris Archer, Rays
NL ROY: Corey Seager, Dodgers
AL ROY: Jose Berrios, Twins
First Manager Fired: Bryan Price, Reds
2016 World Series: Dodgers over Blue Jays in 6

Play ball!

30 Teams, 30 Haiku: My 2014 Baseball Preview

The crack of the bat, the smell of the grass, and the neat assembling of 17 syllables to describe each MLB team's 2014 forecast. Yes ladies and germs, for the fourth year in a row please enjoy some baseball haiku. Granted, the Dodgers and Diamondbacks played their first game over a week ago, but for 28 other clubs Day One is still ahead. Feel free to disagree with poetic license in the comments section below:

(asterisks note wild cards)

AL EAST

1. Red Sox. This Lazarus act/has a tough act to follow/can't slump at Fenway.

2. Yankees*. Big spenders again/strong, but nowhere near elite/as old legs buckle.

3. Rays. If the Price is right/these overachievers will/sting the East again.

4. Orioles. This deep division/the margin of error here/is close to zero.

5. Blue Jays. Any improvements?/not the pitching, though the bats/have power to spare.

AL CENTRAL

1. Tigers. Heavily favored/despite no chemistry; they're/tops in a weak bunch.

2. Royals*. Three decades without/glory; the schneid ends if the/pitching can hold up.

3. Indians. Santana to third/seems like a logical move/but who's the shortstop?

4. Twins. Minor improvements/does not a contender make/the youth must grow up.

5. White Sox. Jose Abreu/blue-chip Cuban sandwiched in/a full youth movement.

AL WEST

1. Athletics. Gray weather forecast/A's fans expect Sonny skies/and playoff glory.

2. Rangers. The one Washington/that gets anything done is/now on the hot seat.

3. Angels. Underacheivers/hardly anyone earns their/paychecks except Trout.

4. Mariners. So they have Cano/and a switch-hitter surplus/they're not legit yet.

5. Astros. Worst is over, but/when Scott Feldman is your ace/dim expectations.

NL EAST

1. Nationals. First by happenstance/after '12 hangover, Nats/get pesky again.

2. Braves*. Mourn the rotation/if you want; their bats will give/Atlanta some hope.

3. Phillies. Pretend contenders/a team without direction/overhaul, A-SAP!

4. Mets. Some optimism/in Queens; the question is, do/they have the Wright stuff?

5. Marlins. Room for improvement/these raw youngsters might surprise/but they're years away.

NL CENTRAL

1. Cardinals. A strange dilemma/they have too many good arms/and too little time.

2. Pirates*. Feisty, resurgent/Roger is jolly again/Wild Card beckons.

3. Reds. Billy Hamilton/thief extrodinaire, young gun/high expectations.

4. Brewers. Ryan had fake brawn/Hebrew Hammer, nailed again/blemishes young squad.

5. Cubs. "Wait until next year"/always applies to Wrigley/sleeper in '15?

NL WEST

1. Dodgers. Already quite good/but if HanRam is healthy/they're unstoppable.

2. Giants. Health is crucial here/if San Fran wants to contend/in the wild West.

3. D-Backs. Many injuries/Corbin, B-Mac, Arroyo/so don't expect much.

4. Padres. With a stealth infield/Friars won't need miracles/to chase .500.

5. Rockies. No Chacin, no arms/plus burly offense equals/high scoring train wrecks.

NL Rookie of the Year: Billy Hamilton, Reds

AL Rookie of the Year: Nick Castellanos, Tigers

NL Cy Young: Clayton Kershaw, Dodgers

AL Cy Young: Felix Hernandez, Mariners

NL MVP: Andrew McCutchen, Pirates

AL MVP: Mike Trout, Angels

First Manager Fired: Mike Scioscia, Angels

2014 World Series: Los Angeles over Boston in 7

30 Teams, 30 Haiku: My 2013 Baseball Preview

As promised, and for the third year in a row, I present my annual baseball prognostications in the form of a 17-syllable poem. I was tempted to do iambic pentameter this year, but the Bard's tongue could do no justice for Miami or Houston.

(asterisks note wild cards)

NL EAST

1. Nationals. That's a clown question/bro, if you think this team takes/a big step backward.
2. Braves. Hail, Upton brothers!/may you find your swing again/to rescue the arms.
3. Phillies. Revere? Improvement?/and an aging Halladay/means no title run.
4. Mets. D'Arnaud, the next Fisk?/paired with the Wright solution/maybe a sleeper.
5. Marlins. So many questions/but the answer's still "purge"/Loria must sell.

NL CENTRAL
1. Reds. My, what dominance/the hunt for Red October/begins in April.
2. Cardinals*. Dogfight for second/sturdy veterans do help/when they're not injured.
3. Pirates. .500 or bust/a generation of crap/may come to an end.
4. Brewers. The smallest market/will fight for respect all year/alas, Braun's still here.
5. Cubs. This is no shocker/another year of youth rule/or no direction?

NL WEST
1. Dodgers. Hello big spenders/Yankees of the Sunset Strip/the stakes are quite high.
2. Giants*. Champions, conquered?/still strong, but if Lincecum/fades again, who knows?
3. D-Backs. Transparent goodness/but not dominant at all/Eaton will produce.
4. Padres. Someone must be fourth/small market, no direction/there's your punching bag.
5. Rockies. This downward spiral/hits bottom; needs more pitching/Tulo can't carry.

AL EAST
1. Blue Jays. Egad, they've improved!/Canadian invasion/conquers eastern foes.
2. Rays*. Maddon's formula/hot starters, dark horse closers/enough to compete.
3. Yankees. Bombers have fizzled/old, injured, and weary/maybe 80 wins.
4. Orioles. Was '12 a big fluke?/likely reality check/after career years.
5. Red Sox. Hot mess at Fenway/youth movement or saving face?/I don't expect much.

AL CENTRAL
1. Tigers. Simply dominant/the best keeps getting better/though age may loom large.
2. White Sox. Dunn swings at fast junk/the fans sing "Come Sale Away"/but the boat has left.
3. Royals. Bolstered rotation/also seeking .500/ridiculed no more.
4. Indians. Some shaky pitching/overlooked; (thanks, Nick Swisher)/equals same old Tribe.
5. Twins. Mauer and the bums/a star among the so-so/Joe deserves better.

AL WEST
1. Angels. Hambone, Pujols, Trout/on paper, this is just sick/best in wild west.
2. Athletics*. They're young, but no fluke/Beane keeps finding ways to win/soon to dominate.
3. Rangers. Many X-factors/not the same from '11/run production sags.
4. Mariners. Felix, but no bats/so in a strong division/a struggle awaits.
5. Astros. New league, same old pains/Altuve, a unique find/for cellar dwellers.

NL MVP: Joey Votto, Reds
AL MVP: Mike Trout, Angels
NL Cy Young: Stephen Strasburg, Nationals
AL Cy Young: Justin Verlander, Tigers
NL ROY: Julio Teheran, Braves
AL ROY: Wil Myers, Rays
First Manager Fired: Bud Black, Padres
2013 World Series: Tigers over Reds in 5

I'd love to hear your thoughts. Prose not required.