My Belated "Best Music of the 2010s" Post

And what about this decade?

It's tough enough finding time to listen to at least 60 new releases a year --rock, hip-hop, jazz or otherwise-- and whittle it down to my favorite 20. The task is harder when you find an album you enjoyed from a particular year, but you discover it after the fact. Sometimes said album doesn't quite hold up as the brilliant piece of art that you thought it once was.

Forgive the forced wordplay, but 2020 is the so-called "year of hindsight," and for my first blog of the calendar year I'm looking back (and wincing) at my past music blogs. Initially, the only rule is set for myself is that there is a minimum of one album from each of the last ten years on this list. (Some albums have aged better than others, KANYE.) Call it wonky, call out some omissions, but I think these 10 albums will stand the test of time.

(NOTE: parenthesized numbers are for the year of release, and original rank)

1. My Dark Twisted Fantasy, Kanye West (2010, #1)
2. To Pimp a Butterfly, Kendrick Lamar (2015, #1)
3. The Suburbs, Arcade Fire (2010, #2)
4. Lemonade, Beyonce (2016, #2)
5. DAMN., Kendrick Lamar (2017, #1)
6. Agent Orange, Frank Ocean (2012, #1)
7. Lazarus, David Bowie (2016, #1)
8. St. Vincent, St. Vincent (2014, #1)
9. Titanic Rising, Weyes Blood (2019, #1)
10. A Seat at the Table, Solange (2016, NR)

Honorable Mentions: Civilian, Wye Oak (2011, NR), Random Access Memories, Daft Punk (2013, #2), 7, Beach House (2018, #1).

I meant to post this right after New Year's, but better late than never. Onto the next post.

(639)

My Last Blog of 2010

When you think about it, 2010 went by like a blur. I guess time flies by when you're fruitlessly mailing and e-mailing resumes to prospective employers. In all seriousness though, with the exorbitant amount of free time I had during the Summer and Fall of 2010, it doesn't seem like the year is almost over. From a media perspective, it was a year of buzzwords: from Eyjafjallajökull to "refudiate," from vuvuzela to WikiLeaks, it was a solid 12-month span for gibberish and foreign proper names. It was a great year for pop culture --especially TV and music-- and a terrible year for almost everything else. (Forgive me if this blog seems a little slipshod; there's so much to reminisce about and too little time to express it.)

THE BEST TV SHOWS OF 2010

1. "Mad Men," AMC. Jon Hamm was runner-up for EW's Entertainer of the Year, and for good reason. Besides two strong outings on SNL and a dilligent performance in The Town, his portrayal of enigmatic '60s ad exec Don Draper has nearly made him a TV icon for our time. The show itself has also benefitted with Hamm at its center, turning out a somewhat polarizing season of bravura performances and clever writing. Notable Episodes: "The Rejected," "The Suitcase," "The Beautiful Girls."
2. "The Daily Show with Jon Stewart," Comedy Central. As inherently political as TDS might be, the show is first and foremost a parody and skewering of a mass media that can't bother to be objective anymore. People have caught on, too: on any given night, Jon and his "correspondents" are pummeling Leno and Letterman in the ratings. Notable Episodes: TDS doesn't really have episode titles --it's a talk show, mind you-- but there's plenty of clips on Hulu, YouTube et al. that prove my point.
3. "Parks & Recreation," NBC. With "The Office" slowly fading into the sunset, P&R has become Thursday night's best and most underappreciated comedy. Amy Poehler earned a well-deserved Emmy nomination as eager small-town bureaucrat Leslie Knope, but Nick Offerman and Aziz Ansari were snubbed outright. If only more people would catch on... Notable Episodes: "Sweetums," "Telethon," "The Master Plan."
4. "Modern Family," ABC. No show balances laughs with low-key charm quite like the blended Pritchett clan. It's a family sitcom at heart, though not always family-friendly, but honest and grounded enough to keep you tuned in. Few shows have ever captured the complicated dynamic of a strong, lasting marriage quite like Mod-Fam. Notable Episodes: "Airport 2010," "Strangers on a Treadmill," "Halloween."
5. "Community," NBC. Talk about patience and perseverance: I put this show on my best of 2009 list on the heels of two strong episodes following an uneven start. I'm relieved to know that my praise was a sign of things to come, as "Community" has really come into its own in the past calendar year. "Modern Family" notwithstanding, this show has quite possibly the best comedy ensemble on television. Notable Episodes: "Modern Warfare," "The Psychology of Letting Go," "Epidemiology."

Honorable Mentions: "Boardwalk Empire," HBO; "In Treatment," HBO.

Best Show That I Need to Start Watching on a Regular Basis: "Breaking Bad," AMC.

Best Random Guest Appearance: Norman Lloyd on "Modern Family." Forget about Betty White for a moment-- it's a marvel that the 96-year-old thespian still manages to nab steady work. Best known as the last surviving member of Orson Welles' Mercury Theater players and as Dr. Auschlander on "St. Elsewhere," Lloyd is a living legend that 90% of the populace knows nothing about. I almost didn't notice him when I saw the "Manny Get Your Gun" episode, which either says something about Lloyd's advanced age or his workman-like ability to disappear into a role.

Worst Random Guest Appearance: Justin Bieber on "CSI." Do I really need to explain this?

Worst Show of 2010: "Bridalplasty," E! Aspiring brides-to-be compete for boob jobs and facelifts in a narcissistic, disturbing, and altogether sad mash-up of "The Swan" and "Say Yes to the Dress." Case evidence of reality television and their obsession with the lowest common denominator.
Runner-Up: "Outsourced," NBC. If this were halfway decent, I would've forgave NBC for handing Park & Rec's time slot to this culture-clash single-camera comedy. Instead, "Outsourced" is more or less the Indian "Amos n' Andy," playing to stereotypes about spicy food, funny accents, and polytheism like a New Dehli minstrel show. Saying this show is an accurate depiction of an Indian workplace is like saying Sbarro is the cutting edge of Italian cuisine.

THE YEAR IN NEWS
　
My Favorite Political Cartoon of 2010: This.

In Memoriam: Miep Gies, J.D. Salinger, Eric Rohmer, Doug Fieger, T-Bone Wolk, Merlin Olsen, Lynn Redgrave, Dennis Hopper, Sen. Robert Byrd, Lena Horne, Ronnie James Dio, Rue McClanahan, Alex Chilton, Andy Hummel, John Wooden, Gloria Stuart, Greg Giraldo, Robert Schimmel, Tony Curtis, Jill Clayburgh, Barbara Billingsley, Tom Bosley, Leslie Nielsen, Dino DeLaurentiis, Elizabeth Edwards, Ted Sorensen, Maurice Lucas, Pat Burns, George "Sparky" Anderson, Bob Feller, "Dandy Don" Meredith, Roy Neuberger, Richard Holbrooke, Steve Landesberg, Blake Edwards, Teena Marie, Gardner Kissick, and "Still Bill" Johnson.

Finally, because I haven't posted any in awhile, here's a couple of Top 5 lists to wrap up the year.

Five Obscure Monty Python References That Might Work as Names for Bands:
1. Hovercraft of Eels
2. Whicker's World
3. The Machine That Goes Bing
4. Kamikaze Highlander
5. Toad the Wet Sprocket*

Five Tips for Aspiring Grad School Students:
1. You have at least six bodily fluids you can donate to pay for tuition
2. If the school crest has a bottle of trucker pills on it, you're in good hands
3. Don't be afraid to consider moving far away to earn your masters or doctorate, as you will never see your friends and family anyway
4. As impressive as the publication of your epic research paper might be, it won't score you a free Whopper at Burger King
5. There is a growing perception in American culture that baccalaureate degrees are "the new high school diploma" since in the last 25 years, job growth has stagnated for Americans that stopped their education with a bachelor's, so imagine how far that masters will get you in the long run

SEE YOU IN 2011!

That Wonderful Year in Music... 2010

To be honest, I was blindsided by what a strong year this was for music. The number of new albums I listened to this year didn't vary much, but there was more to enjoy than I did in 2008 or 2009. I typically check out new sounds concurrently with whatever year I'm analyzing for my monthly music blog, and it got to a point about three or four months ago that I putting more energy in my year-end list than whatever else I listening to. There's a running theme to this year's list: established artists releasing career-defining albums, familiar faces with seemingly nothing left to prove but plenty of ways to prove that assumption wrong, newer acts challenging themselves in unexpected ways, a weird sense of fearlessness and a general lack of inhibition. Of course, you never would've heard any of this brilliance on CHR radio, but that's a discussion for another time.

On that note, I defeated myself somewhat and expanded this list to 20 albums. Like I said before, there was too much in 2010 that I enjoyed that had to merit some type of mention. I tried to make this list as complete as possible, though there are a few discs I still need to check out (sorry, Janelle Monae).

ALBUMS

1. The Suburbs, Arcade Fire. I'm probably one of the few people on the planet that thought the Fire's 2007 album Neon Bible was better than their 2004 debut Funeral. It wasn't a mere extension of ideas, I argued, but the next logical step. Their third effort, The Suburbs, raises the bar even higher. Inspired mostly by the Butler brothers' Houston upbringing, this is a concept album about a world of nostalgia that may not really exist. The Suburbs is whimsical without being too quirky, cynical but not too apathetic, and the right amount of sentimental.

2. Brothers, The Black Keys. What if the White Stripes had a more pure blues-rock sound, and was a real band rather than a vehicle for Jack White's guitar noodling? Enter The Black Keys, a visceral, Ohio-based guitar-drums duo with a yen for '60s soul and psychedlic-period Howlin' Wolf. Their third proper album is 15 tracks of scruffy, growling blues-punk whose appeal never wears out. This is by far the best music produced in Muscle Shoals, AL in decades.

3. My Beautiful Dark Twisted Fantasy, Kanye West. Kanye might very well be the most enigmatic superstar in the world. When he doesn't keep his ego in check, he's an annoying, attention-hungry jerk. When he shuts his mouth and gets to business, he's an indisputable genius. His fifth album is paid as advertised; no album in any genre has been so sonically sparwling yet so singular in its madness anywhere in recent memory. It's as if Kanye set a Thomas Pynchon novel to music...

4. Congratulations, MGMT

5. This is Happening, LCD Soundsystem

6. Contra, Vampire Weekend

7. Treats, Sleigh Bells

8. King of the Beach, Wavves

9. High Violet, The National

10. Together, The New Pornographers. After four albums of fascinating power-pop/indie-rock workshopping by a confederacy of similar-minded musicians, Neko Case, AC Newman, et al. finally begin to sound like a real band on the fittingly named Together. A supergroup in concept only, the Pornographers' sound is now less of a buffet and more of a potluck dinner, a scrappy feast of catchy songs and whimsical songcraft.

11. Broken Bells, Broken Bells

12. Odd Blood, Yeasayer

13. Beat the Devil's Tattoo, Black Rebel Motorcycle Club

14. Teen Dream, Beach House

15. The Monitor, Titus Andronicus. The unofficial award for most improved band goes to this New Jersey-based quartet, whose nondescript garage-rock debut in 2008 bears precious little resemblance to their stunning second effort. An entire album of songs about the Civil War, played by what sounds like the best Pogues cover band on the planet, should've been too weird to work yet it demolishes what low expectations such a far-fetched idea might garner. I guess all you need is a little ambition.

16. Plastic Beach, Gorillaz

17. One Life Stand, Hot Chip

18. Infinite Arms, Band of Horses

19. The Orchard, Ra Ra Riot

20. /\/\/\Y/\ (a/k/a Maya), M.I.A. One of the most undeservedly maligned albums of the past year, the Sri Lankan alt-dance star reinforces her knack for lyrical tongue-twisters, and that motherhood and marriage hasn't quashed her desire for a challenge. The percussion work on this disc is raw and often relentless, perhaps too sonically brutal for certain tastes. Beneath all the chaos, however are some instantly satisfying yet intentionally imperfect tracks.

Coolest Gimmick: The compact disc of The Black Keys' "Brothers" changes colors while the disc is playing.

Worst Album of 2010: Rebirth, Lil' Wayne. There is little denying Weezy's gifts as a rapper, but when it comes to dabbles in other genres --especially this somewhat anticipated, mostly embarassing foray into rap-rock-- even a genius should stick to what he knows best. Worse yet, amidst piles of insipid guitar solos and gaudy overproduction, the wit and wacky wordplay of his previous work is nowhere to be found on Rebirth. Young Tune declares himself a "funky monkey" on the track "Da Da Da," and had that track found a greater audience, that alone probably would've set rock, hip-hop, and race relations back 50 years.

SINGLES

"Symphonies," Dan Black feat. Kid Cudi
"Fuck You," Cee-Lo

"One Way Road," The John Butler Trio

"When My Time Comes," Dawes

"You And Your Heart," Jack Johnson

"In The Sun," She & Him

"Swim Until You Can't See Land," Frightened Rabbit

"Bushwick Blues," Delta Spirit

"Early Morning Wake-Up Call," The Hives

"National Ransom," Elvis Costello

Worst Song of 2010: "Hey Soul Sister," Train. If I have to hear this song one more time, so help me God...

VIDEOS

After a weak 2009, music videos enjoyed a minor renaissance in 2010. Though second-hand VHS downloads of old MTV videos have been a staple on YouTube et al. since the site's inception, it wasn't until the last year or so that video directors really took advantage of the medium. Better late than never, I guess.

1. "This Too Shall Pass," OK Go. When I was in eighth grade, I was assigned a Rube Goldberg-type project in science class. My final assignment was a complete mess, and I earned one of the few F's of my academic career. It was not until after I saw this video that I finally got over that humiliation.

2. "Tightrope," Janelle Monae feat. Big Boi. '60s soul meets 21st-century hip-hop in this well-choreographed clip.

3. "Love The Way You Lie," Eminem feat. Rihanna. A big part of Marshall Mathers' renaissance in 2010 was this VH1/Fuse staple, starring Megan Fox and the guy who played Charlie on "Lost" as lovers that shouldn't be together yet can't stay apart.

4. "Drunk Girls," LCD Soundsystem. Word to the wise: this is what happens when you piss off a bunch of guys in panda costumes.

5. "Madder Red," Yeasayer. A shot-for-shot remake of "Old Yeller," except its four minutes long, shot in modern-day Los Angeles, and stars Kristen Bell and a one-eyed alien blob.

6. "Dog Days Are Over" (Version 2), Florence + The Machine. The British singer-songwriter jumps around in Kabuki garb in this strange yet alluring clip.

7. "Tighten Up" (Version 1), The Black Keys. Rawr! Funky puppet dinosaurs!

8. "Giving Up The Gun," Vampire Weekend. Tennis, anyone?

9. "White Knuckles," OK Go. It's not uncommon for an artist to have multiple clips in one year, but two outright great clips in less than 12 months is quite a feat.

10. "Laughing With a Mouth of Blood," St. Vincent. An early preview of the upcoming IFC comedy series "Portlandia" finds Fred Armisen and Sleater-Kinney frontwoman Carrie Brownstein as prickly lesbian bookstore owners and the singer-songwriter as their unwitting foil.

Next Week: the year in TV, and my final thoughts on 2010.

MERRY CHRISTMAS!

More Thanks... and No Thanks

Don't let the uptick in tinsel and decorated trees outside shopping malls fool you: this week is Thanksgiving. For the sixth year in a row (yes, sixth) I present by annual "thanks" and "no thanks" lists, acknowledging the positive and negative aspects that dictate my daily life with minimal context. There are so many things in life we often take for granted like food and shelter that may seem like a luxury to some, but there are also the little things that boost our morale and give us a reason to wake up in the morning. Without being too perfunctory, I want to take this opportunity --like I have every November since 2005-- to focus on the minutiae.

Thanks: long-form improv, the triumphant return of Conan O'Brien, my continued success in football pick'um, a Blackhawks Stanley Cup, the Chicago Bears' inexplicable 7-3 record, the necessity of living on a budget, and most importantly, the support of my classmates, friends and family during trying times.

No Thanks: underemployment, office politics, the slow death knell of non-biased reporting in cable news, the never-ending hubris of my state government, trading half of the aforementioned Stanley Cup roster, Brett Favre, and still not being able to afford grad school or an apartment.

Finally, in the wake of yesterday's invasion please keep the people of South Korea in your thoughts and prayers. Illinois State University is "sister schools" with the Dong Ah Broadcasting College outside Seoul, and I have several friends that study and teach ESL there. One must hope that North Korea's attack does not snowball into something far worse.

Next Week: my love-hate relationship with Christmas music.

Decision 2010: A Midnight Requiem

As I write this, I'm watching the election results on TV and online. Now that I typically post my blog on late Tuesday evenings, I can analyze and comment on the vote as it happens, which I couldn't do in 2006 or 2008. In years past, I broke down what was at stake in each election and what issues mattered most to registered voters ahead of time. However, I've been rambling on and off about the midterms for months now, so what I could've said would've felt repetitive and redundant.

+ Let me start off by explaining my whereabouts this weekend. I obviously didn't have the air fare to fly to DC for the Rally to Restore Sanity, but I attend the Chicago satellite rally for about 90 minutes. About 1,200 people showed up, some wearing Halloween costumes, a handful wearing patriotic colors. The live coverage from Comedy Central appeared on a 6" by 8" screen, and most of the musical segments in DC were muted so that some local activists could speechify at the podium. They also had two folk singers onstage and some comedian that I'd never heard of, but I was paying more attention to the satellite feed.

+ I first tuned into the news coverage just as the Republicans' takeover of the house was confirmed. It wasn't too shocking; though U.S. Senate candidates like Rand Paul, Linda McMahon, and Christine O'Donnell grabbed national headlines, the vast majority of the Tea Party candidates were aiming for the lower chamber, stealthily drumming up support in mostly rural, economically downtrodden districts. Paul won his senate seat handily over Jack Conway --I was expecting a much closer race-- but the biggest surprise for me was the red state takeover in Wisconsin. Not only did teabagger Ron Johnson trump liberal stalwart Sen. Russ Feingold, but the GOP also took over the governor's mansion and five seats in the house (and counting).

+ As I post this, the Illinois races were too close to call. Incumbent Gov. Pat Quinn carried the densely populated Cook County in a landslide, but he's only won two other counties in the state so far. Republican challenger Bill Brady has carried 80 other counties, though half of them have been determined by less than 10%. In the U.S. Senate race, Alexi Giannoulias and Rep. Mark Kirk are going back and forth for the seat that Barack Obama vacated and Rod Blagojevich tried to sell. (I do not foresee any of the aforementioned candidates garnering 50% of the vote, though.) With all the Tea Party hoopla, it seems strange that the very state where Rick Santelli staged his rant 21 months ago has mostly shunned far-right candidates. Locally, my representative Judy Biggert won re-election for the umpteenth time, which goes to show you in a year of anti-incumbent fervor that in some pockets of the country, it's still business as usual.

+ The news coverage has been exactly what you'd expect. They're smirking on Fox News, the talking heads on MSNBC are despondent, and CNN is a dogpile of partisan bickering. All the local stations are darting between victory and concession speeches, an almost pointless task considering the high number of incumbents retaining their jobs in Illinois tonight (Debbie Halvorson notwithstanding). Politically polarized outlets like MSNBC and Fox News pretty much puppeteered the elections this year, lobbing volleyballs of heresy to encourage controversy and spiking campaigns to put more emphasis on attacking opponents than ever. If you wanted blood, you got it.

+ So what happens now? A Republican majority in the house and a narrow Democratic lead in the senate will only create more gridlock in the short-term. President Obama intends to focus on the national deficit in 2011, but what will get accomplished is highly debatable. In some ways, there's a parallel between this year's elections and the 1982 midterms. That particular vote was a response to President Reagan's unpopular supply-side economic agenda, resulting in some fresh Democratic faces in both houses. What is happening right now is the same, only different; President Obama's stimulus packages drew the Republicans' ire and they rode the anger and frustration of their constituents to victory.

After I left my polling place earlier today, I turned on my car radio and this was the first song that played. I don't think there could've been a more fitting selection for a day like today. Midterm elections are a mess of minor victories and similarly arbitrary defeats. People that vote for change are deluded to think that progress will happen overnight, and in a politically divided America the ability to accomplish anything signifigant will take years, if not decades. It is your god-given right to elect your leaders, but this year I didn't see many choices. Nearly everyone that went to the polls won and lost something today. In short, you can't always get what you want.

Would You Like Some Kool-Aid With Your Tea?

Okay, so I might've underestimated the appeal of the Tea Party. Their anti-incumbent, non-insider fervor seemed to invigorate the Republican Party during the primaries, though their odds of victory in the 2010 midterms are still up for debate. Of the 70-odd handchosen "Teabaggers" that represent the GOP on ballots across the country, a curious bell curve has developed. About one-quarter of candidates have sizable leads in the polls, an equally sized minority are trailing by at least 10%, but half of them are in close races. In most of the districts where far-right candidates are leading, the majority of registered voters define themselves as conservative anyway, and have been represented by Republicans for most of the past 50 years. So much for crossover appeal.

As a caustic observer with moderate-left leanings, I still feel deeply concerned about the near-future of American government. The greatest drawback to a GOP takeover of either house of congress is that whatever progress was made in the last four years will be erased immediately. If the Democrats do lose both houses, we could probably pin the blame on health care reform; though the sweaping changes were intended to be very gradual, the fact that the health care debate raged on for over a year without any bipartian support might've alienated some moderates and centrists. One would argue that health care reform overshadowed other major issues, like climate change and economic reform. Though I can't say I was ever a big fan of Nancy Pelosi --a career politico that will probably lose her Speaker of the House position, regardless of what happens in two weeks-- I admire her support of PAYGO. Democrats and Republicans have been financing various expenditures with money that doesn't exist for as long as anyone can remember, so to hear that Pelosi backs the concept of "pay as you go" is weirdly encouraging. Sadly, that one sliver of common sense doesn't go a long way.

I will attest that there is a reason to be angry and frustrated now, but the Tea Party doesn't represent all Americans. Not by a long shot. They can't be called populist because they're too polarized and exclusive; they don't fight for a common cause so much as they fight for themselves and a very particular agenda. The Teabaggers claim that they oppose the lackadaisical mainstream GOP, but these two factions do have one similar bond: they both seek a level of power and political sway that they don't fully understand and may ultimately squander. On one hand, the current GOP collectively said "no" and fought Obama's policies with stubborn inertia; on the other hand, Tea Party Republicans will still say "no" but attack with blunt force.

The so-called GOP "Class of '94" was intent on impeaching President Clinton on trumped-up allegations long before the Monica Lewinsky mess, and they lost a great amount of credibility in doing so. The Tea Party candidates want to handcuff President Obama in a similar fashion. They will not respect the opinions and platforms of their political opponents because they refuse to understand them. If the Teabaggers have their say, Medicare, Social Security, and unemployment programs across the country will eventually be drained; they will argue that it'll save money for the US in the long run, but in reality they have no idea how each program works or how they impact our nation's elderly, disabled, and jobless. Whatever regulations were passed to prevent Wall Street from enabling another global financial disaster akin to the Panic of 2008 will be defanged, too. Our government was established in the US Constitution --to a paraphrase Abe Lincoln-- for the people and by the people; sadly, this grass-roots movement run amok have proven themselves to be the wrong people.

Next week: the year in music, 1985.

32 Teams, 32 Questions: My 2010 NFL Preview

Looking towards the coming NFL season, I can't help but notice the lack of a singularly dominant team. There's no obvious frontrunner, but no woefully bad teams either. Upon glancing at these 32 squads, a 10-6 record might be enough to coast to a Lombardi Trophy. Sportswriters have cried that NFL parity is dead, though others will argue that its corpse is being propped up by narcissistic team owners trying to save face in the wake of a potential lockout, but that's a discussion for another time.

Like my scattershot baseball preview from five months ago, I will pose each team's forecast as a question. The fact that the NFL has more parity than the other three major sports makes predictions quite difficult, and every year there's always three or four teams that take virtually everyone by surprise. Rather than address what seems fairly obvious, I want to focus on the intangibles and X-factors that could make this one of the most compelling seasons in recent memory... or a 17-week snoozefest.

Here are my prognostications:

NFC North
1. Packers (10-6) Will the oldest team in the NFC show their age?
2. Vikings* (9-7) Speaking of age, is this the year that Brett Favre finally stops cheating Father Time?
3. Bears (7-9) If the preseason was any indicator, how badly will the O-line fail Jay Cutler?
4. Lions (5-11) Can you name a defensive player on this team not named Ndamukong Suh?

NFC East
1. Redskins (9-7) What is Albert Haynesworth more likely to memorize, his playbook or directions to Baskin Robbins?
2. Giants (8-8) Can Brandon Jacobs stay healthy?
3. Eagles (7-9) Who's more overmatched, Kevin Kolb or LeSean McCoy?
4. Cowboys (7-9) With that aging O-line (average age: 32), can Them Boys overcome the toughest schedule in the NFC?

NFC South
1. Saints (11-5) Can Drew Brees' high-flying O continue to compensate for a shaky D?
2. Falcons* (10-6) Is a leaner Michael Turner any meaner?
3. Panthers (6-10) Was last year's last-season surge a mirage?
4. Buccaneers (5-11) Will a young core mature enough to compete at a professional level?

NFC West
1. 49ers (9-7) Is Alex Smith the real deal, or a mediocre QB taking advantage of a weak division?
2. Cardinals (8-8) Does Coach Whiz have any confidence in Derek Anderson?
3. Rams (4-12) With Bradford still going through growing pains, can Steven Jackson carry the offense again?
4. Seahawks (3-13) Between the porous O-line, erratic secondary, and inexperienced D-line, does any other NFL team scream "potential train wreck?"

AFC North
1. Ravens (11-5) Can Baltimore avoid racking up so many penalty yards?
2. Bengals (8-8) Was last year's strides on defense a fluke?
3. Steelers (7-9) With unproven Dennis Dixon subbing for Ben Roethlisberger, can a Polamalu-led defense carry the Steel Curtain?
4. Browns (4-12) Mild improvements on defense notwithstanding, could Cleveland pin their hopes on a more beaten-down QB than Jake Delhomme?

AFC East
1. Jets (10-6) With Darrelle Revis signed (finally), can we already stamp their ticket to Dallas?
2. Patriots* (10-6) Can the offense compensate if Logan Mankins doesn't sign ASAP?
3. Dolphins (7-9) Will Brandon Marshall adapt to a run-first offense?
4. Bills (3-13) Is Ralph Wilson competing with Al Davis to be the orneriest owner in the NFL?

AFC South
1. Colts (12-4) Following that Super Bowl boner, is this the year Peyton Manning starts to look human?
2. Texans* (10-6) Is a healthy Matt Schaub the best-kept secret in the league?
3. Jaguars (6-10) Can Aaron Kampman boost a woeful sack record?
4. Titans (5-11) Amelia Earhart, Jimmy Hoffa, Vince Young: who can disappear faster?

AFC West
1. Chargers (11-5) With or without two crucial contract holdouts, are they the AFC version of the Saints?
2. Chiefs (9-7) Will an increasingly erratic Matt Cassel take advantage of the easiest sked in the conference?
3. Broncos (8-8) Is Tim Tebow the next Andre Ware?
4. Raiders (5-11) Is Jason Campbell really an upgrade over JaMarcus Russell?

*Wild Card

First Head Coach Fired: John Fox, Panthers
Offensive Rookie of the Year: Mike Williams, Bucs
Defensive Rookie of the Year: Ndamukong Suh, Lions
NFL MVP: Drew Brees, New Orleans
Super Bowl XLV: New Orleans 24, Baltimore 20

In defending my predictions in the form of a question, I can lift some of the blame off myself if things don't go as expected. Trust me, that's coming from a guy that predicted a Red Sox-Phillies Fall Classic back in April. ;)

Retrospective: Five Years of Aimless Ramblings

And now, the latest and greatest in all things Stu:

This month marks TV.com's unofficial fifth anniversary, and as such, the wooden jubilee of this blog. When I first joined the site on June 4th, 2005 I really had no idea what to expect of myself, or the episode guides that I edited, or even our new overlords at CNet. Our user profiles had a blog option that didn't exist at TV Tome, so my first entry was a dry run that merely served the purpose to introduce myself. I wrote two more of these before coming up with the weekly gimmick; if people wanted to know who I am and what I was up to, why not do it on a regular (read: semi-rigid) basis? I was skeptical about the new format, but at the same time I wanted to help out this new site.

For the last few weeks I wasn't sure what to do with my anniversary blog, but I knew for sure that I wanted to acknowledge the milestone in a special way. I was compelled at one point to write out a list of statistics, like the most frequent topic of the past half-decade (sports edging out current events, but barely) or the most frequent commenters (by my best estimate, a virtual six-way tie). I also considered a list of wacky fun facts; in five years I've only missed one week (it was in December 2005; I was on vacation), three Updates have been posted a day early (i.e. Monday) and six a day late. Otherwise, I've been fairly consistent about posting my latest missive on late Tuesday morning or early afternoon.

As the above links will tell you, the priorities in my life were far different than they are today. I was 20 years old and six credit hours away from earning my associates in arts at the College of DuPage in Glen Ellyn, IL. At the beginning of 2005 I was intent on transferring to North Central College in nearby Naperville, chomping at the bit to earn my bachelor's in radio communications. In either March or April '05, one of my bosses at WDCB suggested that I look a little further from home; I spent Spring Break glancing at other schools' radio programs, and I realized that Illinois State not only had an equal-size reputation than NCC, but it was a lot cheaper. Alas, I missed the transfer deadline for Fall semester at ISU, so I spent one more term of sorts at COD. What does that have to do with TV.com, you ask? Well, I had to do something with my time before leaving for Normal.

To be frank, I'm too modest to take all the credit for what my weekly dispatches have become, and I couldn't have made it this far without the support of all the wonderful people that made this blog (and the site, of course) what it is today. I typed 6,432 posts at TV Tome and nearly 26,500 so far at TV.com, none of which would be possible if I didn't have somebody to debate with. Individually, I want to thank:

• TheDiamondDog, unofficially the most prolific blogger in TV.com history, and my oldest friend at the site;
• algetrig91 and bry456, whom I've been acquainted with since the TV Tome era and continue to contribute to TV.com to this day;
• ClevelandRocker, arguably the wittiest and most facetious user on this site, past or present;
• millerem99, for balancing my left-of-center ramblings with a well-informed moderate-right rebuttal;
• thecomedianky, who I met via my reviews on the old site and egged me into taking classes at the Second City Training Center;
• Tapeleg247 and jmarsh89, for our regular chats on AIM, YIM, and Facebook chat;
• Scopeless, who I met at TV.com and became my friend and collaborator at the Student Television Workshop at Illinois State University;
• mtjaws and jokipper, for their consistent dissections of my monthly music blogs;
• FlyingHellfish, fantasy commish extraordinaire;
• Darth_Revan45, for his strong opinions;
• BaronOne, whoaitsconner, and avmon, for their regular comments in the SNL forum;
• RealityFan2686 and Pulch23, for enduring all my abuse in said forum;
• mp34mp and Water78, whose banishments from TV.com I still question to this day;
• and to anyone else that I might've forgotten, thank you for everything you do, and keep up the good work.

I don't want to end this on a dour note, but right now my life is at a crossroads. About six weeks ago I lost my job; I'm sorry for not mentioning anything sooner, but it's not an easy subject to bring up. I don't want to get into all the gory details, but it wasn't a particularly fair situation and in some ways I'm still smarting over it. That doesn't mean I'm canoeing without a paddle, though; I registered for unemployment to pay the bills, I'm e-mailing resumes out at a steady rate, and just to have something to fall back on, I re-applied to be a substitute teacher for the 2010-11 school year. As my friends, please keep me in your thoughts.

My Fifth Annual Fantasy Emmy Ballot

Though the TV season doesn't officially end until May 26th, it's not too soon to speculate which of our favorite shows will earn some Emmy hardware come September. In spite of last year's decision to expand all the acting and show categories to six nominees --a decision I erronously overlooked on my roster last year-- it was a weak year for new shows and there were few fresh faces. 2009-10, on the other hand, gave us a plethora of promising rookies, all chomping at the bit to change the dreary status quo. With that said, here is my annual fantasy Emmy ballot:

Outstanding Animated Program, Less Than One Hour: American Dad! (for the episode "Rapture's Delight"), Family Guy ("Road to the Multiverse"), The Simpsons ("Treehouse of Horror XX"), South Park ("Sexual Healing"), and Spongebob Squarepants ("The Clash of Triton").

Best Writing for a Comedy/Music/Variety Series: "Late Show with David Letterman," "Real Time with Bill Maher," "Saturday Night Live," "The Colbert Report," and "The Daily Show with Jon Stewart."

Best Comedy/Music/Variety Series: "Late Late Show with Craig Ferguson," "Late Show with David Letterman," "The Colbert Report," "The Daily Show with Jon Stewart," and "Saturday Night Live."

Best Reality-Competition Program: "The Amazing Race," "American Idol," "Dancing With The Stars," "Survivor," "Top Chef."

Best Supporting Actress, Drama: Khandi Alexander, Treme; Rose Byrne, Damages; Rachel Griffiths, Brothers & Sisters; Christina Hendricks, Mad Men; Elizabeth Moss, Mad Men; and Dianne Weist, In Treatment.

Best Supporting Actress, Comedy: Gillian Jacobs, Community; Jane Krakowski, 30 Rock; Jane Lynch, Glee; Holland Taylor, Two and a Half Men; Kristen Wiig, SNL; and Vanessa Williams, Ugly Betty.

Best Supporting Actor, Drama: Nestor Carbonell, Lost; Michael Emerson, Lost; Vincent Kartheiser, Mad Men; Aaron Paul, Breaking Bad; Martin Short, Damages; and John Slattery, Mad Men.

Best Supporting Actor, Comedy: Ty Burrell, Modern Family, Jon Cryer, Two and a Half Men; Neil Patrick Harris, How I Met Your Mother; Jack McBrayer, 30 Rock; Nick Offerman, Parks & Recreation; and Rainn Wilson, The Office.

Best Actress in a Drama Series: Glenn Close, Damages; Sally Field, Brothers & Sisters; Mariska Hargitay, Law & Order: Special Victims Unit; Holly Hunter, Saving Grace; January Jones, Mad Men; and Kyra Sedgwick, The Closer.

Best Actress in a Comedy Series: Toni Collette, United States of Tara; Tina Fey, 30 Rock; Julia Louis-Dreyfus, The New Adventures of Old Christine; Lia Michele, Glee; Mary Louise Parker, Weeds; and Amy Poehler, Parks & Recreation.

Best Actor in a Drama Series: Gabriel Byrne, In Treatment; Bryan Cranston, Breaking Bad; Jon Hamm, Mad Men; Hugh Laurie, House; Tim Roth, Lie To Me; and Kiefer Sutherland, 24.

Best Actor in a Comedy Series: Alec Baldwin, 30 Rock; Steve Carell, The Office; Joel McHale, Community; Ed O'Neill, Modern Family; Jim Parsons, The Big Bang Theory; and Charlie Sheen, Two and a Half Men.

Best Drama Series: "Breaking Bad," "Damages," "Dexter," "In Treatment," "Lost," "Mad Men."

Best Comedy Series: "30 Rock," "The Big Bang Theory," "Glee," "How I Met Your Mother," "Modern Family," "The Office."

Normally, this list is a hodgepodge of nominees I'd like to see and those that'll be nominated regardless, but this year I have a feeling that it'll balance out. I'm confident that at least 80% of my predictions this time around are right on the money. If you think I'm overlooking anyone, go ahead and call me out.

Next week: the year in music, 1987.

30 Teams, 30 Questions: My 2010 Baseball Preview

First I write a blog about the passing of health care reform a week after the fact, than I post my baseball preview the day after the first game of the season, than I nearly forget that this is my 250th WU. Boy, I need to get my priorities straight... ;)

Last year, I tweaked my usual forecast by explaining why I wasn't convinced any team could win the 2009 World Series (and as some of you will recall, I vastly overestimated the Rays and Indians). This year, to encourage a discussion about the new season, I've posed each prediction as a question. Some of them can be answered with a simple yes or no, while others are a bit more oblique.

NOTE: Division and wild card teams are denoted in bold.

NL EAST

1. Phillies: Were you expecting any other team to win this division?

2. Braves: Can Jair Jurrjens maintain a 2.60 ERA with a K/BB ratio just above 2?

3. Mets: How does a front office spend so much money in the offseason and do absolutely nothing to solve any of their issues?

4. Marlins: Why is such a gifted athlete like Hanley Ramirez wasted on such a middling team like Da Fish?

5. Nationals: Strasberg's not ready yet, everyone knows that, but is there anybody else worth watching in DC?

NL CENTRAL

1. Cardinals: Which left fielder will give up more triples: Matt Holliday...

2. Cubs: ...or Alfonso Soriano?

3. Brewers: Is it just me, or is that 2008 Wild Card berth starting to look like a distant memory?

4. Reds: Are they the breakout team of 2010, or the most overrated?

5. Astros: Will clubhouse morale improve with new skipper Brad Mills?

6. Pirates: Can you believe there are high school seniors that weren't born yet the last time the Bucs made the playoffs?

NL WEST

1. Giants: Outside of Pablo Sandoval, does anybody on this team know how to use a glove?

2. Rockies: Todd Helton is past his prime, that's quite apparent, so who'll step up as Colorado's top power hitter?

3. Dodgers: Does Chad Billingsley have the mental toughness to be an ace?

4. D-Backs: Will Brandon Webb ever be the same pitcher again?

5. Padres: Is Mike Adams our generation's Goose Gossage, or is Heath Bell a lock at closer?

AL EAST

1. Red Sox: Whose stats will benefit more from their new digs, Adrian Beltre's SLG or John Lackey's ERA?

2. Yankees: With Mo Rivera's HOF career winding down, who is the Pinstripes' closer of the future?

3. Rays: They're in the same division as the Yanks and Bosox. Why bother trying?

4. Orioles: The kids (Matusz, Jones, Markakis, Wieters) can play, so when will the O's unload all their expensive veterans?

5. Blue Jays: Ricky Romero notwithstanding, could this youth movement be any uglier?

AL CENTRAL

1. Twins: Can Minnesota really win the division without having an ace in their rotation?

2. White Sox: Their rotation (Buehrle, Peavy, Danks, Floyd) looks wicked, but where's the run support?

3. Tigers: Can Rick Porcello avoid a sophomore slump? Also, is their front office committed to winning?

4. Royals: Is KC's offensive outburst during Spring Training the real deal?

5. Indians: Can Pronk and Sizemore stay healthy long enough to keep Cleveland from losing 100 games?

AL WEST

1. Mariners: Will a defense-oriented ballclub compensate for a starting nine with one star hitter (Ichiro), an aging legend (Griffey), and seven wild cards?

2. Angels: Will the last remaining player from the '02 Champs (Scot Shields) turn off the lights?

3. Rangers: Is Scott Feldman the worst pitcher to ever win 17 games, and if so, can he keep relying on Texas' big bats?

4. Athletics: Does Ben Sheets have anything left in the tank?

And now, my postseason prognostications:

NL Rookie of the Year: Jason Heyward, Braves

AL Rookie of the Year: Austin Jackson, Tigers

NL Cy Young: Tim Lincecum, Giants

AL Cy Young: Justin Verlander, Tigers

NL MVP: Albert Pujols, Cardinals

AL MVP: Joe Mauer, Twins

First Manager Fired: Ron Washington, Rangers

NL Manager of the Year: Bruce Bochy, Giants

AL Manager of the Year: Terry Francona, Red Sox

2010 World Series: Red Sox over the Phillies, 4 games to 2

The ball is in play; tell me what you think.

Meet Me At The Fair

I tend not to discuss local news in this blog, mostly because 90% of my readers aren't from Chicago or the outlying suburbs, but there is something that has been dwelling on my mind:

We Downers Grove residents tend to associate the fourth weekend in June with Heritage Fest. Launched in 1982 to celebrate the town's sesquicentennial, Heritage Fest is a three-day party held on the streets of downtown Downers. To some degree, it's a miniature version of the Taste of Chicago; there's carnival rides, live music, and all sorts of delicious yet nutritionally-challenged cuisine. It's a cherished community event and a profitable one to boot, so I was quite shocked to learn that the village had cancelled Heritage Fest for 2010.

I first heard about the cancellation on Facebook about two weeks ago, thinking that this was some goofy rumor. Early last week, however the decision to skip Heritage Fest for a year --and maybe more-- became a reality. Apparently the village has a $4.5 million budget shortfall, and something had to give. (Yes, the population of DG is just under 49,000, but we're still considered a village for zoning purposes.) For a generation of Downers Grove residents who have expected Heritage Fest every June like a morning sunrise, it's as shocking as it is a sad indictator of the economy. As this article implies, the tourism that Hertiage Fest brought to Downers Grove and the sales tax revenue it generated will be deeply missed. The village council has left the door open to private sponsorship or even a fundraiser, though I'm doubtful that anyone will chip in the amount of money needed to keep the festival going.

In the end, losing Heritage Fest may not necessarily be the end of the world. The success of our festival inspired other towns in the western Chicago suburbs to launch their own hometown fiestas, or if they already had one, to at least up the ante. I guess driving two towns over for elephant ears will make do for a year, though it won't feel the same. Plus, it's not like this was the only event that the village council chose to cancel; our annual ice sculpture contest was benched for 2010, and the National Cycling Championships will also have to find a new home next year. Nevertheless, it's a depressing sign of the times when nobody can afford to have fun. Then again, maybe God is punishing the village for booking Foghat for the 2007 fest.

Next week: the year in music, 2009.