Tuesday, June 25, 2024

A House, Still Disordered

 I've been too busy to type, so let me attempt to catch you up.

The water is out of my aunt's basement. My sister tried to DIY this with a rented pump, but she ultimately called a service. Our initial estimate was over $9,000 to drain and repair, so we only paid about $3,600 just for the water. We had a chance encounter with the neighborhood handyman, who has been very helpful. (I owe her money, but that's another story.) The basement itself is a 99% loss, and we can't pool any more of our own finances into further repairs. 

The objective now is cleaning up the top two floors for an estate sale in late July, then a short sale of the property. When all is said and done, we might make a meager profit; the house is in a nice neighborhood in upper-middle-class Naperville, but the needed repairs, estate debts, and legal fees will drain almost all of that money. The basement door remains shut, out of fear black mold could still spread.

Our other concern is the neighbors. The same family that were de facto caretakers took issue with how we were initially pumping out the water, and it's been contentious ever since. The handyman told us he's an entitled dick, and we should take his fuming and posturing with a grain of salt. 

Meanwhile... 34 counts. Forgive the delay on my comments, but in the wake of the Trump verdict four weeks ago, his base is just as galvanized as I feared. There's a 50/50 chance we'll get a president-elect under house arrest in south Florida.

Here's to 19 years of blogging. Let's see what awaits for year 20.

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Wednesday, May 29, 2024

Through a Freshman's Eyes: "Snakes on a Plane" Edition

 It's graduation season yet again. Another batch of high school seniors have achieved the minimum requirement of being a U.S. representative from Colorado. All joking aside, it's time for my annual "mindset list," as Beloit College used to publish every summer. This year's high school grads and incoming college kids were mostly born between late 2005 and mid-2006, and I try to explore their viewpoint of the world so far in their young lives.

With that said, if you are matriculating this year...

...New Orleans has never flooded.

...it has always been possible for a woman to be Chancellor of Germany. 

...Vicente Fox was never President of Mexico.

...the Vice President of the United States never shot a guy in the face.

...you've never shopped at Marshall Field's.

...you never found a severed finger in your Wendy's chili.

...it has always been possible to get a face transplant.

...Twitter (or X) has always existed.

...the Playstation 3 has always existed.

...Google has always owned YouTube.

..."sexting" has always been a thing.

...the Chicago White Sox have never won, or played in, a World Series.

...everyone knows Magnolia Cupcakes are crazy delicious. 

...you might run into Tina Fey and Maya Rudolph on a campus visit.*

...TV Guide has always been standard magazine size and never had local listings.

...you might also run into a girl who claims Enrique Iglesias is her nephew.

...Britney Spears and Kevin Federline were never married.

...Bob Denver, Justice William Rehnquist, Clarence "Gatemouth" Brown, Robert Wise, Sid Luft, Donn Clendenon, Simon Wiesenthal, Don Adams, Hamilton Camp, Nipsey Russell, August Wilson, Charles Rocket, Rosa Parks, Geoffrey Keen, Link Wray, Eddie Guerrero, Pat Morita, Vic Power, Richard Pryor, Eugene McCarthy, Michael Vale, Vincent Schiavelli, Patrick "Blue" Cranshaw, Lou Rawls, Jim Zulevic, Shelley Winters, Wilson Pickett, Chris Penn, Coretta Scott King, Wendy Wasserstein, Moira Shearer, Grandpa Al Lewis, Betty Friedan, Franklin Cover, Elton Dean, Peter Benchley, Ray Barretto, Harold Hunter, Curt Gowdy, Don Knotts, Dennis Weaver, Darrin McGavin, Harry Browne, Jack Wild, Kirby Puckett, Dana Reeve, Gordon Parks, John Profumo, Boom Boom Geoffrion, Slobodan Milošević, Maureen Stapleton, Oleg Cassini, Ray Meyer, Buck Owens, Jackie McLean, Gene Pitney, Proof, Muriel Spark, Steve Howe, John Kenneth Galbraith, Louis Rukeyser, Floyd Patterson, Jim Lemon, Lloyd Bentsen, Desmond Dekker, Craig "Ironhead" Heyward, Billy Preston, Abu Musab al-Zarqawi, the dog from "Frasier," Randy Walker, Kenneth Lay, Syd Barrett, June Allyson, Red Buttons, Mickey Spillane, Jack Warden, and Carl Brashear have always been dead.


*both had babies in Fall 2005

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Friday, April 26, 2024

Confessional Epilogue

In 2013 and 2017, I blogged about my fractious relationship with "Sandra." Even though she iced me out years ago, I attempted two or three times to reach out by email, the last time in Summer 2020. I thought the story was over until a recent development. 

A mutual high school acquaintance tipped me that Sandra was getting a divorce. I went to her Facebook --we're still friends, though we don't interact-- and noticed that any mention of her husband had disappeared. Then I went to her husband's FB and found what my confirmation: over a year ago, she started a Bumble account on the down low, met a guy and moved in with him. She essentially walked out on her two daughters and husband of almost nine years. 

I've never met Sandra's husband; they met in 2012, and he was babysitting when Sandra and I (among others) did dinner in July 2017. We've had one brief social media interaction. All he said was that Sandra posted a flowery response for shanking her marriage, but without a doubt, he was cucked. I heard from another mutual friend he has severe anxiety and wasn't handling this well. Without context, I hope he gets full custody of their two daughters.

To some extent, I'm not surprised. It took me a long time to realize Sandra's narcissism, but I knew her pattern of poor communication and acting on impulse. She didn't apologize for avoiding me in 2010, she simply justified why. When I thought we were going to reconnect in 2017, she was mostly avoidant all night. Perhaps my act of self-sabotage was, without reasoning mistakes, a blessing in disguise. I am unlikely to interact with Sandra or her estranged husband again, there's no need to. Weirdly, I feel almost validated in retrospect.

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Wednesday, March 27, 2024

30 Teams, 30 Haiku: My 2024 MLB Preview

 


Is it late March already? Spring training has closed shop, the lawns are cut, the dirt is pristine, and I already smell the $10 hot dogs and $12 beers. Baseball has started anew, and again I'm guardedly optimistic about my Royals. The AL Central is the weakest in baseball, and even last year's best team (the Twinkies) aren't necessarily striking the iron while it's hot. This division is wide open, and if the stars align KC might crack .500 and sneak into October ball. (Let me dream.)

As always, I cover all 30 teams, 17 syllables at a time. Asterisks note wild cards.


NL EAST

  1. Braves. Can’t break their Stride(r)/barely anyone beats them/…except the Phillies.

  2. Phillies.* Is Schwarber the next/Rob Deer, Frank Howard, or one/pudgy unicorn?

  3. Marlins. Without Sandy, the/pitching still shines; injured Jazz/gives offense the blues. 

  4. Mets. A healthy Edwin/ensures eight inning games; in/Flushing, they stand pat.

  5. Nationals. Still, still rebuilding/patience on the Potomac/Wood, Crews not ready.

NL CENTRAL

  1. Cubs. Third base needs Morel/support; enough talent to/put Taillon first place.

  2. Reds. Young, deep, and feisty/once Elly figures out big/league pitching, watch out!

  3. Cardinals. Last year? Rock bottom/the “Redbird Way” still needs a/GPS, pronto.

  4. Brewers. Youthful rotation/suggests a rebuild, yet their/bats still foment runs.

  5. Pirates. This frigate might win/70; Keller captains/soggy staff of arms.

NL WEST

  1. Dodgers. Ohtani was a/sure bet; deep pockets, too big/to fail, boom or bust.

  2. D-Backs.* Snakes alive, they’re still/a dark horse; rotation depth/remains an issue.

  3. Padres.* Preller the seller/pared-back Friars must make more/with less; King must reign.

  4. Giants. Webb of deception/was Kapler the issue, or/are they just middling?

  5. Rockies. Thin air, thin talent/Rocky Mountain wayward can’t/trade injured Bryant.


AL EAST

  1. Orioles. Early birds score the/runs; adios, Angelos/good morn, Baltimore!

  2. Yankees.* Soto might give Judge/Juan shot at a title; Boone’s/hot seat is charring.

  3. Rays.* Wander no more, this/team is focused on winning/now (they bargain well).

  4. Blue Jays. Can anyone hit/besides Bo? Good rotation/begs for run support.

  5. Red Sox. Strange mix of young, old/defense issues still linger/Cora tweaks the core.

AL CENTRAL

  1. Guardians. The best by default/power outage, outfield woes/persist, yet still tops.

  2. Twins. Playoff monkey off/their backs, slashed payroll boosts youth/Not enough lefties.

  3. Royals. Bolstered bullpen hopes/Ragans is economic/amid well-paid arms.

  4. Tigers. Detroit Mercy, health/is concerning here; young arms/counter greenhorn bats.

  5. White Sox. Hired ex-Royals/aren’t needed; Reinsdorf wrecks this/club all by himself.

AL WEST

  1. Astros. Victor, upgrade at/backstop; soft bullpen hinders/a constant lineup.

  2. Rangers*. Early DL woes/raise concerns; Wyatt won’t be/quiet for too long.

  3. Mariners. Middle of the road/O (besides J-Rod); arms must/rally ‘round Raleigh. 

  4. Angels. Trout, Rendon, Detmers/need rebound years; leap (O’Hoppe?)/over .500?

  5. Athletics. Mount Davis, old slum/Vegas move, complicated/Sad situation.


NL ROY: Yoshinobu Yamamoto, Dodgers

AL ROY: Wyatt Langford, Rangers

NL Cy Young: Zach Wheeler, Phillies

AL Cy Young: Kevin Gausman, Blue Jays

NL MVP: Ronald Acuna, Braves

AL MVP: Julio Rodriguez, Mariners

First Manager Fired: Bud Black, Rockies

2024 World Series: Dodgers over Rangers in 7

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Tuesday, March 12, 2024

Geezer Teaser

The primaries aren't quite over, but the result was a foregone conclusion six months ago: a rematch of Biden versus Trump, the first major party encore since Eisenhower and Stevenson in 1952 and 1956. (Pity the fellow Illinoisan-- our primary is still a week away.) As Jon Stewart attempted to point out a few weeks ago, Biden and Trump are also breaking the record for oldest presidential candidates since... the same two east coast grandfathers, four years ago.

The age difference between Trump and Biden is 3 1/2 years, and while there are obvious old age concerns, only one candidate seems to be in mental decline. The contrast was blatant this past week: Biden give a fiery State of the Union speech, belying his 81 years, while 77-year-old Trump looks increasingly tired and unfocused at his frequent Nuremberg rallies. One could blame Trump's weariness on all his legal woes, but I'd argue it's his undiagnosed diabetes. (For some personal perspective, my father died of "old age" at 78.)

Some of the Biden obloquy makes sense. His response to Gaza was has been lackadaisical for all involved parties. The economy is fine, and there is job growth, but inflation --or rather, simulated inflation by big business-- hasn't been tackled. Biden's first term has been a mixed bag, but there's no need to reiterate how we cannot let Trump pull a Grover Cleveland. This rematch is unappetizing for many Americans, but Joe Biden is the closest thing to a palatable option. 

Next week: my 2024 baseball preview.

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Wednesday, February 28, 2024

A House, Disordered

We inherited a mess.

After months of struggling to find our aunt's lawyer, we reached out to our lawyer as a last resort. They found an attorney based in Chicago proper, and after a long convo, I reluctantly agreed to be trustee for my aunt's estate. (The two trustees she appointed, my father and her husband, are both long dead.) Her house in Naperville is the entire estate, and we also inherited a mortgage and other debts. Additionally, her sister-in-law was also bequeathed money. When all is said and done, my sister and I might break even. 

When we made out first posthumous visit to the house last July, we did not make a positive impression on the house's caretaker, our aunt's next-door neighbor. This time, we showed him the paperwork, and he agreed to cooperate. Before we walked in, he warned us that there might have been some flooding in the basement. There was a snowstorm in the area in mid-January, and he hadn't been in the house since around New Year's. 

Indeed, there was flooding. About five feet of standing water, just sitting there for about a month. We called State Farm, our aunt's insurer, and they won't help because the heat was turned off. The house permeates with black mold, so have to open windows and wear masks. Thankfully, most of items we want weren't in the basement, but there's still the matter of making the house inhabitable again.

Stay tuned.

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