This week was the 20th anniversary of an embarrassing incident from my teen years:
Home economics was not my favorite class in junior high school. For the valuable life skills they offered, I was far more concerned with earning a good grade. On alternating weeks, we would either be in either one of two specially designed classrooms, one for the sowing unit (which doubled for health classes) and one in a kitchen. The elective was taught by Ms. Schnorr, an obese, middle-aged woman who usually yelled directions from behind a desk and chair.
The first big project we had in the sowing unit was creating our own multipurpose aprons. First, we had a preliminary introduction to the sowing machines, with a safety and component quiz. Then, we created pockets for the aprons before moving on to the apron itself.
I didn't quite feel comfortable using the machine, but I went along with the assignments in a cautious manner. The machines were in special tables with detachable platforms, with a pedal connecting to wire. About halfway through the apron, I stood up to adjust the fabric, accidentally stepped on the pedal, and the sowing needle went straight through the tip of my thumb.
I screamed for a couple of seconds, loud enough to get the semi-immobile teacher to rush to my care. I nudged the pedal out of the way with my other foot, and Ms. Schnorr was able to get the needle out of the machine. One of my classmates walked me to the nurse; I was too panicked to even notice who it was. The school nurse removed the needle very gently, put some astringent on it, and bandaged me up. After calming my nerves, I walked myself back to class.
Junior high can be a hornets' nest of gossip and misinformation, and Herrick was no exception. By the time lunch period (5A) half of the school was not only talking about my thumb, but were spreading misinformation and blowing things out of proportion. Some of the kids even thought I'd had my thumb amputated. I had to show off my wounded thumb in the lunch line to prove it was a relatively minor injury.
Even though the wound was skin-deep, the thumb incident messed with my head for the duration of that trimester. I was even more nervous about using a sowing machine, and even though I passed the class, I have no interest in operating a sowing machine ever again. Its a life skill that I've learned to do without. About a month after needle met fingertip, I suffered some first degree burns on my left hand in the same class. I had to put my hand in cold water for the duration of third and fourth period, but the needle was marginally more traumatizing. I guess those are the real scars you carry.
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Showing posts with label 1998. Show all posts
Showing posts with label 1998. Show all posts
Friday, November 30, 2018
Monday, May 22, 2017
Through a Seventh Freshman's Eyes
It's that time of year again. This year's high school senior crop (and assumed college freshmen) were born between Fall 1998 and Summer 1999, mere babes during Y2K hysteria and the other goings-on at the turn of the century. With each passing year, their perspective compared to previous generations looks a little more skewed, and things they take for granted might have been something we weren't aware about when we were their age. Once again, with all due apologies to Beloit College, I present my annual homemade "Memory List":
If you're a graduating senior...
...impeaching the President of the United States has always been a possibility.
...the threat of a school shooting has always been very, very real.
...Slobodan Milosevic was never President of Serbia.
...Europe has always had (or attempted to have) a unifying currency.
...India and Pakistan have always had nuclear powers.
...baseball has always been tainted by steroids and PEDs.
...the Latino population in the U.S. has always increased by about one million people.
...the Dow Jones Industrial Average has almost always been above 10,000.
...there have always been anti-vaxxers.
...you vaguely remember your parents winning an eBay auction on a grape-colored iMac.
...Bluetooth, Blackberry, and instant/no-tray ice have always been a thing.
...Michael J. Fox has always been open and forthcoming about his battle with Parkinson's Disease.
...there have always been mediocre "Star Wars" prequels.
..."The Sopranos" and "Sex & The City" have always been part of the pop culture conversation, and there's always been more to HBO than just movies and sex documentaries.
...Regis Philbin was a game show host first, and a daytime talk show host second.
...Jimmy Fallon and Jimmy Kimmel have always been on TV in some capacity.
...Mike Scioscia has always been manager of the Los Angeles Angels of Anaheim, California, United States, Earth.
...Dirk Nowitzki and Vince Carter have always played in the NBA.
...Joe Thornton, Patrick Marleau, and Marian Hossa have always played in the NHL.
...Michael Jordan never played for the Chicago Bulls, Wayne Gretzky has never laced a set of skates, and John Elway has always been a football executive.
...the Nashville Predators have always been in existence, and the Cleveland Browns have never taken a year off from football.
...Susan Lucci's name has always been preceded by the phrase "Emmy winner."
...Bill Murray has never hosted SNL.
...they have never stayed up to watch Tom Snyder.
...you think "Melrose Place" is a Chicago suburb. (You're thinking of Melrose Park.)
..."Spongebob Squarepants" and "Family Guy" have always been on TV.
...the original host of The Daily Show was Jon Stewart.
...Gene Siskel, Stanley Kubrick, Matthew Shepard, Joe DiMaggio, Dan Quisenberry, George Wallace, John Ehrlichman, Doak Walker, Gene Autry, Hal Newhouser, Weeb Eubank, Roddy McDowall, Alan J. Pakula, Flip Wilson, Esther Rolle, Norman Fell, Michel Petrucciani, Flo-Jo, the one guy from Milli Vanilli, Dusty Springfield, Dana Plato, Rick Rude, Owen Hart, Shel Silverstein, DeForest Kelly, and John F. Kennedy Jr. have always been dead.
In case you missed it, here's last year's list. Again, my apologies if I made you feel old.
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If you're a graduating senior...
...impeaching the President of the United States has always been a possibility.
...the threat of a school shooting has always been very, very real.
...Slobodan Milosevic was never President of Serbia.
...Europe has always had (or attempted to have) a unifying currency.
...India and Pakistan have always had nuclear powers.
...baseball has always been tainted by steroids and PEDs.
...the Latino population in the U.S. has always increased by about one million people.
...the Dow Jones Industrial Average has almost always been above 10,000.
...there have always been anti-vaxxers.
...you vaguely remember your parents winning an eBay auction on a grape-colored iMac.
...Bluetooth, Blackberry, and instant/no-tray ice have always been a thing.
...Michael J. Fox has always been open and forthcoming about his battle with Parkinson's Disease.
...there have always been mediocre "Star Wars" prequels.
..."The Sopranos" and "Sex & The City" have always been part of the pop culture conversation, and there's always been more to HBO than just movies and sex documentaries.
...Regis Philbin was a game show host first, and a daytime talk show host second.
...Jimmy Fallon and Jimmy Kimmel have always been on TV in some capacity.
...Mike Scioscia has always been manager of the Los Angeles Angels of Anaheim, California, United States, Earth.
...Dirk Nowitzki and Vince Carter have always played in the NBA.
...Joe Thornton, Patrick Marleau, and Marian Hossa have always played in the NHL.
...Michael Jordan never played for the Chicago Bulls, Wayne Gretzky has never laced a set of skates, and John Elway has always been a football executive.
...the Nashville Predators have always been in existence, and the Cleveland Browns have never taken a year off from football.
...Susan Lucci's name has always been preceded by the phrase "Emmy winner."
...Bill Murray has never hosted SNL.
...they have never stayed up to watch Tom Snyder.
...you think "Melrose Place" is a Chicago suburb. (You're thinking of Melrose Park.)
..."Spongebob Squarepants" and "Family Guy" have always been on TV.
...the original host of The Daily Show was Jon Stewart.
...Gene Siskel, Stanley Kubrick, Matthew Shepard, Joe DiMaggio, Dan Quisenberry, George Wallace, John Ehrlichman, Doak Walker, Gene Autry, Hal Newhouser, Weeb Eubank, Roddy McDowall, Alan J. Pakula, Flip Wilson, Esther Rolle, Norman Fell, Michel Petrucciani, Flo-Jo, the one guy from Milli Vanilli, Dusty Springfield, Dana Plato, Rick Rude, Owen Hart, Shel Silverstein, DeForest Kelly, and John F. Kennedy Jr. have always been dead.
In case you missed it, here's last year's list. Again, my apologies if I made you feel old.
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Wednesday, May 25, 2016
Through a Sixth Freshman's Eyes
This week and next, millions of high school seniors will be graduating. Some will take a summer off before starting college, while others might take a semester or a whole year to contemplate their options. In any case, they were all born between late 1997 and mid-1998, offering a different perspective of the world than someone who vividly remembers the end of the 20th century (i.e. someone who is now old). With that said, and with all due apologies to Beloit College, here is my sixth annual homemade "Memory List":
...Google has always been a presence on the internet.
...Apple has always had the upper hand on Microsoft.
...if you're into right-wing conspiracies, you haven't had to look much further than the Drudge Report.
...if you're right-wing but not into conspiracies, you haven't had to look much further than Fox News Channel.
...Monica Lewinsky has always been a household name, and for all the wrong reasons.
...the highest-grossing movie of all time was always a film directed by James Cameron (at least, until a few months ago).
...Animal Kingdom has always been an attraction at Disney World.
...there has always been at least one Harry Potter title available in American bookstores...
...or you could just buy a book on Amazon.
...the Chicago Bulls have never won an NBA title.
...Tim Duncan has always played in the NBA.
...Bartolo Colon has always been a Major League pitcher.
...Roger Maris has never owned the Major League single-season home run record.
...NHL players have always been a presence in the Winter Olympics.
..."Seinfeld" has existed only in repeats.
...CBS has never aired "The Wizard of Oz" during May sweeps.
...you never saw Norm Macdonald anchor Weekend Update on SNL.
...Burgess Meredith, Red Skelton, Toshiro Mifune, Chris Farley, Phil Hartman, Lloyd Bridges, Alan Shepard, Dr. Spock, Bella Abzug, Pol Pot, Shari Lewis, Harry Carey, Jack Brickhouse, Sonny Bono, Carl Wilson, Tammy Wynette and Frank Sinatra have always been dead.
Did I forget anything? If so, feel free to mention it in the comments below. (Here's last year's list.) If this post was too much of a gut-punch, I respect that too.
(516)
...Google has always been a presence on the internet.
...Apple has always had the upper hand on Microsoft.
...if you're into right-wing conspiracies, you haven't had to look much further than the Drudge Report.
...if you're right-wing but not into conspiracies, you haven't had to look much further than Fox News Channel.
...Monica Lewinsky has always been a household name, and for all the wrong reasons.
...the highest-grossing movie of all time was always a film directed by James Cameron (at least, until a few months ago).
...Animal Kingdom has always been an attraction at Disney World.
...there has always been at least one Harry Potter title available in American bookstores...
...or you could just buy a book on Amazon.
...the Chicago Bulls have never won an NBA title.
...Tim Duncan has always played in the NBA.
...Bartolo Colon has always been a Major League pitcher.
...Roger Maris has never owned the Major League single-season home run record.
...NHL players have always been a presence in the Winter Olympics.
..."Seinfeld" has existed only in repeats.
...CBS has never aired "The Wizard of Oz" during May sweeps.
...you never saw Norm Macdonald anchor Weekend Update on SNL.
...Burgess Meredith, Red Skelton, Toshiro Mifune, Chris Farley, Phil Hartman, Lloyd Bridges, Alan Shepard, Dr. Spock, Bella Abzug, Pol Pot, Shari Lewis, Harry Carey, Jack Brickhouse, Sonny Bono, Carl Wilson, Tammy Wynette and Frank Sinatra have always been dead.
Did I forget anything? If so, feel free to mention it in the comments below. (Here's last year's list.) If this post was too much of a gut-punch, I respect that too.
(516)
Tuesday, May 31, 2011
That Wonderful Year in Music... 1998
From a rock perspective, 1998 was a time of transition. The majority of the artists that made the '90s "alt" scene what it was were either breaking up, past their prime, or entering the woods for an extended period of time. Perhaps it seems fitting that the two best rock albums of that year didn't belong to that scene; one was a spacey magnum opus by a pair of French kids with a love for Pink Floyd and Brian Eno, the other a delightfully weird indie-rock sound project that wasn't "discovered" or appreciated until midway through the next decade.
On the flip side of the music spectrum, '98 was a watershed year for hip-hop, with several core rappers and rhymers of the late '90s/early '00s delivering their strongest efforts to date. It was at this point 13 years ago that hip-hop started to blur with CHR and pop radio, and the likes of Lauryn Hill, Big Pun, and Jay-Z were inexplicably being played alongside harmless bubble-gum acts such as Backstreet Boys and the Spice Girls. Rock radio, on the other hand was a smorgasbord of post-grunge acts of varying quality (Matchbox 20, Third Eye Blind, Goo Goo Dolls), the aforementioned aging early '90s acts (Smashing Pumpkins, Pearl Jam), blatant one-hit wonders (Eagle Eye Cherry, Natalie Imbruglia), and dilligent punk-pop (Green Day, The Offspring).
As a middle-schooler in 1998 I was more interested in classic rock, and I do not regret disliking what was on Top 40 around that time. One of my most vivid memories from that year was my nine-year-old sister blasting SpiceWorld from her bedroom while I was struggling with math and science homework. On the other hand, this was the year that I first heard Revolver and Sgt. Peppers' and went on an extended Beatles kick. This is not the greatest year of music in the '90s --I'll be covering that 12-month span later in 2011-- but it's certainly far from uninteresting.
BEST ALBUMS
1. In The Aeroplane Over The Sea, Neutral Milk Hotel. Is Jeff Magnum an absolute genius or borderline schizoid? His decision to give up music after recording Aeroplane and his reputation as a sullen recluse would suggest the latter, but maybe in his heart Magnum knew he couldn't top this effort. Fittingly described by AllMusic.com as the sound of a marching band on acid, Aeroplane is a ramshackle mess of spiritual epiphany ("King of Carrot Flowers"), sexual anxiety ("Two-Headed Boy"), and tragedy ("Holland, 1945"). The only question here is what Magnum is trying to express, and whatever your theory might be it's totally correct.
2. The Miseducation of Lauryn Hill, Lauryn Hill. Equally adept at R&B and hip-hop, the prettiest Fugee's first solo album --and not counting an unfocused session on "MTV Unplugged," only solo album-- is the smoothest fusion of these two disparate genres anyone's ever heard. Sexual without being ribald or carnal, Lauryn teases on tracks like "Nothing Else Matters" and "I Used To Love Him." At the same time, Hill battles her spirituality on "Final Hour" and "Forgive Them, Father." Like Jeff Magnum, Hill was (is?) a one-of-a-kind talent that laid out all her chips upfront, knew when to fold, than walked away from the table.
3. Moon Safari, Air. Not to be confused with the avant-garde jazz trio of the same name, this electronica duo is one of the few non-Anglophone rock artists to ever make a dent in American pop culture. Fusing the songcraft of Burt Bacharach and Brian Wilson with the mood and textures of Can and early-70s Pink Floyd, Moon Safari is exactly what you'd expect: the most laid-back exploration of the cosmos this side of Carl Sagan.
4. Car Wheels on a Gravel Road, Lucinda Williams
5. Aquemini, OutKast
6. Mezzanine, Massive Attack
7. Hello Nasty, Beastie Boys
8. Volume 2... Hard Knock Life, Jay-Z
9. The Boy With The Arab Strap, Belle & Sebastian
10. Extinction Level Event: The Final World Front, Busta Rhymes. After two commercially successful and critically adored solo albums, Busta dropped ELE as a newly minted superstar. Luckily, fame didn't go to his head; building upon his yen for apocalyptic imagery, beefy beats, weird samples, and brilliant rhymping, the Brooklyn-born rapper is stealthly planting earwigs all over middle America. The only hiccup here is "This Means War!!!", a pointless rewrite of Black Sabbath's "Iron Man" with a half-hearted cameo by Ozzy himself.
Honorable Mentions: Mutations, Beck; Moment of Truth, Gang Starr; XO, Elliott Smith; Up, R.E.M.
BEST SINGLES
"Flagpole Sitta," Harvey Danger
"The Way," Fastball
"Ava Adore," Smashing Pumpkins
"Push It," Garbage
"Inside Out," Eve 6
"One Week," Barenaked Ladies
"Sex and Candy," Marcy Playground
"Torn," Natalie Imbruglia
"Ray of Light," Madonna
"Rockafeller Skank," Fatboy Slim
BEST VIDEOS
1. "Closing Time," Semisonic. Split-screens were all the rage in '98, and nobody took advantage of the fad like these two-hit wonders from Minneapolis. Talk about running on parallel lines...
2. "Doo Wop (That Thing)," Lauryn Hill. Split-screen madness, part 2: Hill channels '60s soul and late '90s funk similtaneously in this "Total Request Live" favorite.
3. "Put Your Hands Where My Eyes Can See," Busta Rhymes. Culled from Busta's previous album, 1997's When Disaster Strikes..., Busta takes a cue from Missy Elliot and embraces the magic of fish-eye lens.
4. "My Hero," Foo Fighters. Ever the renaissance man, Foo frontman Dave Grohl made his directorial debut in this "long take" clip about the solitude of heroism.
5. "Gone Till November," Wyclef Jean. Speaking of Fugees, Wyclef's first solo disc included this airbourne MTV hit, featuring the most unlikely of musical cameos.
Honorable Mentions: "Intergalactic," Beastie Boys; "Bitter Sweet Symphony," The Verve.
Your thoughts?
On the flip side of the music spectrum, '98 was a watershed year for hip-hop, with several core rappers and rhymers of the late '90s/early '00s delivering their strongest efforts to date. It was at this point 13 years ago that hip-hop started to blur with CHR and pop radio, and the likes of Lauryn Hill, Big Pun, and Jay-Z were inexplicably being played alongside harmless bubble-gum acts such as Backstreet Boys and the Spice Girls. Rock radio, on the other hand was a smorgasbord of post-grunge acts of varying quality (Matchbox 20, Third Eye Blind, Goo Goo Dolls), the aforementioned aging early '90s acts (Smashing Pumpkins, Pearl Jam), blatant one-hit wonders (Eagle Eye Cherry, Natalie Imbruglia), and dilligent punk-pop (Green Day, The Offspring).
As a middle-schooler in 1998 I was more interested in classic rock, and I do not regret disliking what was on Top 40 around that time. One of my most vivid memories from that year was my nine-year-old sister blasting SpiceWorld from her bedroom while I was struggling with math and science homework. On the other hand, this was the year that I first heard Revolver and Sgt. Peppers' and went on an extended Beatles kick. This is not the greatest year of music in the '90s --I'll be covering that 12-month span later in 2011-- but it's certainly far from uninteresting.
BEST ALBUMS
1. In The Aeroplane Over The Sea, Neutral Milk Hotel. Is Jeff Magnum an absolute genius or borderline schizoid? His decision to give up music after recording Aeroplane and his reputation as a sullen recluse would suggest the latter, but maybe in his heart Magnum knew he couldn't top this effort. Fittingly described by AllMusic.com as the sound of a marching band on acid, Aeroplane is a ramshackle mess of spiritual epiphany ("King of Carrot Flowers"), sexual anxiety ("Two-Headed Boy"), and tragedy ("Holland, 1945"). The only question here is what Magnum is trying to express, and whatever your theory might be it's totally correct.
2. The Miseducation of Lauryn Hill, Lauryn Hill. Equally adept at R&B and hip-hop, the prettiest Fugee's first solo album --and not counting an unfocused session on "MTV Unplugged," only solo album-- is the smoothest fusion of these two disparate genres anyone's ever heard. Sexual without being ribald or carnal, Lauryn teases on tracks like "Nothing Else Matters" and "I Used To Love Him." At the same time, Hill battles her spirituality on "Final Hour" and "Forgive Them, Father." Like Jeff Magnum, Hill was (is?) a one-of-a-kind talent that laid out all her chips upfront, knew when to fold, than walked away from the table.
3. Moon Safari, Air. Not to be confused with the avant-garde jazz trio of the same name, this electronica duo is one of the few non-Anglophone rock artists to ever make a dent in American pop culture. Fusing the songcraft of Burt Bacharach and Brian Wilson with the mood and textures of Can and early-70s Pink Floyd, Moon Safari is exactly what you'd expect: the most laid-back exploration of the cosmos this side of Carl Sagan.
4. Car Wheels on a Gravel Road, Lucinda Williams
5. Aquemini, OutKast
6. Mezzanine, Massive Attack
7. Hello Nasty, Beastie Boys
8. Volume 2... Hard Knock Life, Jay-Z
9. The Boy With The Arab Strap, Belle & Sebastian
10. Extinction Level Event: The Final World Front, Busta Rhymes. After two commercially successful and critically adored solo albums, Busta dropped ELE as a newly minted superstar. Luckily, fame didn't go to his head; building upon his yen for apocalyptic imagery, beefy beats, weird samples, and brilliant rhymping, the Brooklyn-born rapper is stealthly planting earwigs all over middle America. The only hiccup here is "This Means War!!!", a pointless rewrite of Black Sabbath's "Iron Man" with a half-hearted cameo by Ozzy himself.
Honorable Mentions: Mutations, Beck; Moment of Truth, Gang Starr; XO, Elliott Smith; Up, R.E.M.
BEST SINGLES
"Flagpole Sitta," Harvey Danger
"The Way," Fastball
"Ava Adore," Smashing Pumpkins
"Push It," Garbage
"Inside Out," Eve 6
"One Week," Barenaked Ladies
"Sex and Candy," Marcy Playground
"Torn," Natalie Imbruglia
"Ray of Light," Madonna
"Rockafeller Skank," Fatboy Slim
BEST VIDEOS
1. "Closing Time," Semisonic. Split-screens were all the rage in '98, and nobody took advantage of the fad like these two-hit wonders from Minneapolis. Talk about running on parallel lines...
2. "Doo Wop (That Thing)," Lauryn Hill. Split-screen madness, part 2: Hill channels '60s soul and late '90s funk similtaneously in this "Total Request Live" favorite.
3. "Put Your Hands Where My Eyes Can See," Busta Rhymes. Culled from Busta's previous album, 1997's When Disaster Strikes..., Busta takes a cue from Missy Elliot and embraces the magic of fish-eye lens.
4. "My Hero," Foo Fighters. Ever the renaissance man, Foo frontman Dave Grohl made his directorial debut in this "long take" clip about the solitude of heroism.
5. "Gone Till November," Wyclef Jean. Speaking of Fugees, Wyclef's first solo disc included this airbourne MTV hit, featuring the most unlikely of musical cameos.
Honorable Mentions: "Intergalactic," Beastie Boys; "Bitter Sweet Symphony," The Verve.
Your thoughts?
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