Through a Freshman's Eyes: "Superbad" Edition

Depending upon where you are in the United States, high school graduation was somewhere between the middle of last month and this week. Most of this year's graduates were (if you can stomach this) born between late 2006 and mid-2007. Keeping a tradition that started as a ripoff of Beloit College's old Mindset List, I try to offer a glimpse into the perspective of someone who was born my senior year at Illinois State. Take a deep breath and enjoy!

If you graduated high school this year...

...it has always been possible for a woman to be US Speaker of the House.

...Pluto has always been defined as a dwarf planet.

...you've never known a world without the iPhone, Apple TV, Hulu, SoundCloud, or Amazon Kindle. 

...you've never played with a Nintendo GameCube.

...Martin Scorsese's name has always been preceded by "Academy Award winner."

...you've always associated Seth Meyers with telling topical jokes, not sketch comedy.

...the Kardashian family have always had a TV show.

...people have always been debating the "Sopranos" finale.

...Britney Spears has always been associated with mental health issues and conservatorship.

...Michael Vick has always been associated with animal abuse.

...Barry Bonds has always been baseball's all-time home run king.

...Kevin Durant has always played in the NBA.

...Patrick Kane has always played in the NHL.

...Steve Irwin, Pat Corley, Ann Richards, Boz Burrell, Buck O'Neil, Carlo Acutis, Cory Lidle, Johnny Callison, Freddy Fender, Jane Wyatt, Sandy West, Joe Niekro, Red Auerbach, Johnny Sain, Ed Bradley, Milton Friedman, Bo Schembechler, Robert Altman, Anita O'Day, Emmett Kelly Jr, Jose Uribe, Peter Boyle, Lamar Hunt, Ahmet Ertegun, the son from "The Jeffersons," Joseph Barbera, James Brown, Gerald Ford, Darrent Williams, Harry Horse, Carlo Ponti, Alice Coltrane, Ron Carey, Art Buchwald, Bam Bam Bigelow, Denny Doherty, Vern Ruhle, Lorne "Gump" Worsley, Bob Carroll Jr, Barbaro, Sidney Sheldon, Molly Ivins, Anna Nicole Smith, Hank Bauer, Peggy Gilbert, Dennis Johnson, Lamar Lundy, John Inman, Brad Delp, Richard Jeni, Bowie Kuhn, Larry "Bud" Melman, Coach Eddie Robinson, Darryl Stingley, Johnny Hart, Barry Nelson, Roscoe Lee Browne, Kurt Vonnegut, Don Ho, Kitty Carlisle, Donald E. Stephens, David Halberstam, Boris Yeltsin, Jack Valenti, Tom Poston, Jerry Falwell, Charles Nelson Reilly, Clete Boyer, Bill France Jr, Don Herbert, Kurt Waldheim, Rod Beck, Chris Benoit, Liz Claiborne, Beverly Sills, Boots Randolph, Johnny Frigo, Charles Lane, Lady Bird Johnson, Tammy Faye Bakker, Mike Coolbaugh, Tom Snyder, Ingmar Bergman, Bill Walsh, Clarence "Tex" Walker, Merv Griffin, Brooke Astor, Phil "Scooter" Rizzuto, Max Roach, and Richard Jewell have always been dead.

Next time: my (proper) 20th anniversary post.

(751)

The Dance of Despair

Ten years ago this week, I went to a strip club for the first and only time.

I went because my Uncle Jim insisted. He was a bachelor in his early 50s, in a long-term relationship with a sweet albeit docile woman. Jim started asking me around my 21st birthday, and asked a few more times over the next two years before I finally agreed. One Saturday night in July, Jim picked me up in his rusted out 1988 Firebird, we had dinner at my grandmother's house, and then we drove off to a gentlemen's club near Romeoville. In the parking lot, we were joined by a church friend of Jim's, another lifelong bachelor with a gross attitude about women.

As I sat down in the front row of the club, I noticed that one of the dancers kept giving me a weird look. She was a tall, leggy brunette with lilac-colored lingerie, awkwardly attempting to wiggle around the floor in two-inch heels with all the other dancers. Most of these women were eager to connect with any and all customers, but this particular dancer had already written me off, and I wasn't sure why. My uncle's friend noticed that she was glaring at us, too.

I figured that the best thing to do was not think about it. I had a couple of beers, and Jim paid for my one lapdance of the evening. Her stage name was Tiffani, and before she unclasped her bra she gave me a disclaimer in a squeaky, inarticulate monotone: no touching, no licking, and above all no attempting to remove the pasties. I sat uncomfortably still in the Barcalounger for five minutes as this woman gyrated half-heartedly around my head and torso. After the lapdance, I walked back downstairs, then sat around for another hour or so before Jim and I left.

As Uncle Jim drove me back to my house, he kept egging me about whether or not I had a good time; his attempt at male bonding was well-intended, but I found the whole experience to be uncomfortable. I didn't want to hurt his feelings, so I just nodded and said "okay" as he tried to lead the witness. Jim made it clear that he wanted to go back with me towing along, but I was non-committal. Alas, there wouldn't be a next time; our schedules kept clashing, and Jim died of pancreatic cancer less than 18 months later. I have felt little to no desire to go back to the club on my own volition.

A week or so after my strip club experience, I realized why that tall brunette kept staring at me: she was a high school classmate. All I remember is that her first name started with a "B," we had a political science class together at North, and she graduated the year before me. Out of embarrassment as well as her privacy, I have made no effort to reach out to her or find out her current whereabouts. On that one Saturday night in July 2007, we were both a little mortified.

(557)

That Wonderful Year in Music... 2007

I look back at 2007 as a year of questions. It was a year where people asked queries like, "is 'John from Cincinnati' supposed to make any sense?" "who will be our next president, Rudy Giuliani or Hillary Clinton?" and "hissing fauna, are you the destroyer?"

In all seriousness, however my '07 was defined by hanging out in the basement of Fell Hall at Illinois State University.  It was my senior year, an as a member of the Z106 rock music staff I listened to and rated new releases for air.  I was also a DJ for three semesters, so I enjoyed this task both ways.  I did an internship in the station that summer, so during my down time I had unprecedented access to free CDs, resulting in an equally unparalled time of new musical knowledge. I graduated that December thinking, "damn, these last 12 months were a lot of fun." Suffice to say, listening to the following albums and songs made for a great trip down Memory Lane.

I wrote out a year-end list in 2007, and even though I still agree with most of my picks I did overlook a few albums that I hadn't heard in full at that point (*cough* In Rainbows *cough* Sound of Silver) and nearly overrated others (in hindsight, Mark Ronson's covers disc Version seems more "fun" than bold or substantial).  It was only my second stab at blogging about music, and these types of things do benefit from hindsight. I will concur with myself insofar that '07 was a bountiful year for indie-rock and electronica.  Five years is my self-imposed minimum of determining whether a particular song or album holds up, so what remains essential a half-decade on?

(parentheses note previous ranking)


BEST ALBUMS
1. In Rainbows, Radiohead. By default, this is the band's most romantic album. That is not to say that Thom Yorke and the boys have cheered up; buzzwords like "comatose," "nightmare," and "trapped" are sprinkled all over the disc. On their first self-released effort after bolting Capitol/EMI, Radiohead is more focused upon their introversion than ever, but instead of fearing society and technology the angst aims eerily inward.  For all the electronic abstraction, they just want to be loved.
2. Neon Bible, Arcade Fire (1). Trading sepia tones and monochrome for brighter colors --hence the title-- we find the Montreal septet beyond mourning their youth and having a stiff drink after a long day's work. Immediately dismissed by some as Funeral Part 2, the Fire's sophomore effort holds up as a distinctively wrecked and defiant effort of its own valor.
3. Sky Blue Sky, Wilco (2). As much as I adored Yankee Hotel Foxtrot, it wasn't until Sky that I truly "got" Wilco. Returning to their alt-country roots while still keeping one foot in experimental pop, their sixth album evokes Neil Young circa Harvest, the end result sometimes sounding like '70s soft rock. Newcomers Pat Sansone and Nels Cline make the disc, their organ and guitar work respectively meshing well with Jeff Tweedy's yearning harmonies.
4. Sound of Silver, LCD Soundsystem
5. Hissing Fauna, Are You The Destroyer?, Of Montreal
6. Wincing the Night Away, The Shins (3)
7. Ga Ga Ga Ga Ga, Spoon (5)
8. Icky Thump, The White Stripes
9. Boxer, The National (11)
10. Back to Black, Amy Winehouse (10). Yes, go ahead and judge. Winehouse spent the last four-plus years of her life in the tabloids, a shambolic train wreck of a woman doomed to an early grave by her impulses and narcissism. What she left behind, however was a very promising singing career, demonstrated to full effect on Black. It was her second full-length, her commercial breakthrough, and ultimately her last completed statement as an artist. "Rehab" and "You Know I'm No Good" are great songs, with or without the baggage of historical irony.

11. Because of the Night, Kings of Leon
12. Strawberry Jam, Animal Collective
13. The Reminder, Feist (4)
14. Graduation, Kanye West (8)
15. Favourite Worst Nightmare, Arctic Monkeys. What sophomore jinx? It's not my favorite Monkeys album --see my 2006 list-- but it contains two of their best songs ("Brianstorm" and "Fluorescent Adolescent"). If the big complaint about their debut was that they owed too much to the artists that influenced them, than Nightmare is the sound of a young band finding its voice.
16. Kala, M.I.A.
17. Challengers, The New Pornographers
18. The Cool, Lupe Fiasco
19. Attack Decay Sustain Release, Simian Mobile Disco
20. Widow City, The Fiery Furnaces (6). In some ways, the Friedberger siblings are like indie-rock's answer to Dim Sum: it's delicious if you love weird things, but only occasionally is it accessible to newbies. Their 2003 debut Gallowsbird's Bark is a decent starting point, but Widow City is an expert-level feast. The disc alternates from baroque pop to free jazz to proto-Metal, sometimes in the same song. If you get it, you'll love it.

BEST SINGLES
"Chelsea Dagger," The Fratellis
"Ruby," Kaiser Chiefs
"Silver Lining," Rilo Kiley
"Back to the 101," Albert Hammond Jr.
"Don't Make Me Wait," Locksley
"3's and 7's," Queens of the Stone Age
"Thrash Unreal," Against Me!
"Lake Michigan," Rogue Wave
"Hard Sun," Eddie Vedder
"Falling Slowly," Glen Hansard & Markéta Irglová

BEST VIDEOS
When I said 4 1/2 years ago that mash-up were in vogue and YouTube hasn't caught on to music videos yet... I guess I wasn't looking hard enough. I missed out on some awesome clips. Once again, the benefit of hindsight.

1. "1234," Feist. This well-choreographed, multi-hued clip actually did air on TV... in a 30-second iPod commercial. That was enough to turn "1234" into a left-field hit.
2. "What's a Girl To Do," Bat For Lashes. If you don't mind the "Donnie Darko" allusions, this video is a perfect match-up of visual and audio atmosphere.
3. "Can't Tell Me Nothin'" (Version 2), Kanye West. A pre-"Hangover" Zach Galifianakis and troubadour Will Oldman chill out at Zach's North Carolina farm in this dance floor hit expressing Yeezy's ambivalance to the hip-hop lifestyle.
4. "Atlas," Battles. Their 2007 release was titled Mirrored. Therefore...
5. "The Underdog," Spoon. Inspired by "Russian Ark," this daring single-shot video depicts a typical, "humdrum" recording session with Britt Daniels and company.
6. "100 Days, 100 Nights," Sharon Jones & The Dap Kings.
7. "Conquest," The White Stripes.
8. "Young Folks," Peter, Bjorn, & John.
9. "Peacebone," Animal Collective.
10. "Electric Feel," MGMT.

Honorable Mentions "Smile," Lily Allen; "Long Road to Ruin," Foo Fighters; "Phantom Limb," The Shins.

Your thoughts?