Ten Years On

January 18th marks ten years since my father died. It was the unfortunate culmination of a nearly three-year battle with brain tumors and lymphoma, and I've spent most of the weekend trying to compose my thoughts on this unfortunate milestone. 

Ken had undiagnosed autism, I'm almost certain. He was a man of many quirks: he almost always wore black slacks; he had an obsession with the stock market and read the business section of the newspaper first; he had very few friends, and most of them lived out of state; he thought Tic-Tacs functioned like aspirin and vitamins and consumed them in large quantities. He was 46 when I was born; there were all apparently habitudes from before I was born. When he learned how to use a PC late in life, my sister and I realized his Yahoo search history was mostly three things: NASDAQ quotes, baseball scores, and Filipina porn.

Peccadillos aside, his second-greatest obsession was sports. Between him and my roommate passing 18 months ago, I miss having someone around the house that I can talk baseball and football with. That weighed heavily on me as I watched the Bears-Rams game last night. Both men would've been entertained, even if the outcome wasn't what we wanted.

On the flip side, Ken's passing meant avoiding nearly a decade of political arguments. My father was a third-generation center-right Republican, and one of his last lucid political thoughts was that was "leaning toward John Kasich" in the 2016 primaries. I have little doubt he would've come around to Donald Trump's "clown show" (his words) but not necessarily get dragged into the conservative misinformation outlets of the internet. I remember how annoyed he was that I had skepticism about the war in Iraq in early 2003, insinuating that I was brainwashed or imprudent in my own right. Beyond that, I was cautious about expressing my two cents about world affairs face to face.

For my original eulogy post, click here.

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20 Years On: The Legacy of TV.com

June 1st, 2005 marked the soft launch of TV.com, the site where I built most of my internet infamy. I've talked about the site at length before (after all, that's where this blog started) but for newer readers I'll sum it up here:

In many ways, TV.com was an upgrade over TV Tome. There was a more sophisticated interface, and an opportunity for social interaction that ran parallel with the nascent Facebook. TV Tome was founded and run by one guy, who then delineated some responsibilities to two paid employees; CNet swooped in just as this trio was burning out and ready to give up. TV.com had a full-fledged staff of admins, lording over a hundred-plus volunteer editors chosen by meritocracy. I built a handful of friendships at TV Tome, but that increased seemingly tenfold when CNet took the reins. I've even dated people that had TV.com accounts. My generating of content, pieced together from reliable internet sources and old TV Guides, veered into the maniacal until even I started to flame out.

Alas, the site was mismanaged and it lost money; the admin was gradually reduced to a couple of people, and it lost even more revenue. Our fan-created, all volunteer IP was shifted to TV Guide (another CNet acquisition, albeit far more established) and the site was dead by early 2020. The relationships, however mostly remain. 

Besides this being the unofficial 20th anniversary of this blog, this September would've been TV Tome's 25th anniversary. TV.com is a fading memory, TV Tome all but forgotten. If you're reading this, thanks again for sticking around. 

Meanwhile... we're at war? Did Trump drop bombs on Iran without the approval of Congress or his Secretary of State? In a just world, this is the singular event that results in Democrats taking both houses in the 2026 midterms. If he didn't have so many enablers, this would be grounds for a third impeachment; alas, that would mean President JD Vance. Right now, only a handful of Democrats seem to be vocal in resistance. The empire keeps crumbling.

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Through a Freshman's Eyes: "Superbad" Edition

Depending upon where you are in the United States, high school graduation was somewhere between the middle of last month and this week. Most of this year's graduates were (if you can stomach this) born between late 2006 and mid-2007. Keeping a tradition that started as a ripoff of Beloit College's old Mindset List, I try to offer a glimpse into the perspective of someone who was born my senior year at Illinois State. Take a deep breath and enjoy!

If you graduated high school this year...

...it has always been possible for a woman to be US Speaker of the House.

...Pluto has always been defined as a dwarf planet.

...you've never known a world without the iPhone, Apple TV, Hulu, SoundCloud, or Amazon Kindle. 

...you've never played with a Nintendo GameCube.

...Martin Scorsese's name has always been preceded by "Academy Award winner."

...you've always associated Seth Meyers with telling topical jokes, not sketch comedy.

...the Kardashian family have always had a TV show.

...people have always been debating the "Sopranos" finale.

...Britney Spears has always been associated with mental health issues and conservatorship.

...Michael Vick has always been associated with animal abuse.

...Barry Bonds has always been baseball's all-time home run king.

...Kevin Durant has always played in the NBA.

...Patrick Kane has always played in the NHL.

...Steve Irwin, Pat Corley, Ann Richards, Boz Burrell, Buck O'Neil, Carlo Acutis, Cory Lidle, Johnny Callison, Freddy Fender, Jane Wyatt, Sandy West, Joe Niekro, Red Auerbach, Johnny Sain, Ed Bradley, Milton Friedman, Bo Schembechler, Robert Altman, Anita O'Day, Emmett Kelly Jr, Jose Uribe, Peter Boyle, Lamar Hunt, Ahmet Ertegun, the son from "The Jeffersons," Joseph Barbera, James Brown, Gerald Ford, Darrent Williams, Harry Horse, Carlo Ponti, Alice Coltrane, Ron Carey, Art Buchwald, Bam Bam Bigelow, Denny Doherty, Vern Ruhle, Lorne "Gump" Worsley, Bob Carroll Jr, Barbaro, Sidney Sheldon, Molly Ivins, Anna Nicole Smith, Hank Bauer, Peggy Gilbert, Dennis Johnson, Lamar Lundy, John Inman, Brad Delp, Richard Jeni, Bowie Kuhn, Larry "Bud" Melman, Coach Eddie Robinson, Darryl Stingley, Johnny Hart, Barry Nelson, Roscoe Lee Browne, Kurt Vonnegut, Don Ho, Kitty Carlisle, Donald E. Stephens, David Halberstam, Boris Yeltsin, Jack Valenti, Tom Poston, Jerry Falwell, Charles Nelson Reilly, Clete Boyer, Bill France Jr, Don Herbert, Kurt Waldheim, Rod Beck, Chris Benoit, Liz Claiborne, Beverly Sills, Boots Randolph, Johnny Frigo, Charles Lane, Lady Bird Johnson, Tammy Faye Bakker, Mike Coolbaugh, Tom Snyder, Ingmar Bergman, Bill Walsh, Clarence "Tex" Walker, Merv Griffin, Brooke Astor, Phil "Scooter" Rizzuto, Max Roach, and Richard Jewell have always been dead.

Next time: my (proper) 20th anniversary post.

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Wincing in the Winter

Happy 2024, one and all. I'm grateful that anyone still reads this.

I'm turning 40 this coming summer, and I'm not necessarily looking forward to the milestone. I'd like to do something special to mark the occasion, preferably travel, but money is kind of tight. I'm also reminded of my age almost daily; this year's high school seniors weren't born yet when I started this blog. (I intentionally excluded that from last year's mindset list.) The general manager of one radio station I worked at 20 years ago died of old age around Thanksgiving. 

With that said, to alleviate some debt I've started a Stu News Patreon. More info here.

Meanwhile... in 2024 as he did in 2016, Donald Trump is laying waste to a crowded yet weak crop of Republican presidential challengers. The Iowa Caucus was a mere confirmation. Even though 2016 was more of a logjam (17 candidates were debate-eligible at one point) the modern never-Trumpers in the GOP are both scant and in over their heads. Even though Asa Hutchison is still in the race (and polling at 1% at best), Nikki Haley and Ron DeSantis combined aren't enough to stop the America First tidal wave. It's sickening that people won't learn from past mistakes --conservatives have always been top-tier gaslighters-- but for a substantial percentage of the US population, an obese, misogynist oligarch in clear cognitive decline is the avatar of what might heal America. 

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These Last Four Years (Which Felt Like a Decade)

 Much like my late December music blog, it's become a tradition of sorts to letter-grade an outgoing U.S. president. I've been writing this blog for almost 16 years, and I summed up the Bush 43 and Obama administrations in lengthier than usual pieces. Given who our latest outgoing president is, I don't think I'll be nearly as verbose.

I don't think there's really anything I can say that hasn't already been analyzed or scrutinized in regard to Donald John Trump. He is by far the most polarizing president of our time, a man no one has no opinion about. No one used (or abused) social media quite like he did, and certainly no one flirted with abusing their power like Trump, either. History will remember him for running laps around Nixon's misdeeds. To paraphrase the man himself, he grabbed democracy by the pussy. 

Trump is a man of contradictions, if you consider his love for attention and disregard for the media contradictory. He is man who loves attention, a category 5 narcissist, who can't handle any negative news directed at him. He persuaded his base, already socially conservative and disdainful of the social media, to make "fake news" his mantra of choice both on the campaign trail and in office. He lives for flattery and bombast. 

I could just rattle off his various crises and scandals: the Russia hack, the sloppy attempt to cover up the Russia hack, Ivanka plugging her handbags, Stormy Daniels, myriad deregulations, a mountain of sexual misconduct allegations, and of course the situation in Ukraine that led to impeachment. His failure to address COVID --at least, until he tested positive himself-- was a stain on his final year in office. Now, just days after a bunch of Trump's most rabid supporters raided the U.S. Capitol building, a second impeachment is not beyond possibility. (Forgive the brevity, but frankly I'm sick of writing about the man.)

I remember reading something in Entertainment Weekly 15 years ago (I want to attribute this to Alynda Wheat, but I'm probably wrong) about the pitfalls of giving anything an "F" review. Wheat or someone else said that if you give something the lowest possible grade, it implies that the film, TV show, etc. has a train wreck quality that will still intrigue and attract people. An F makes one think it's so bad it's good, like "The Room." Almost for that reason alone, I'm giving Trump a D-, which is marginally better but far less savory. Trump had a few scant positive achievements, but they were minor and offer little long-term impact. 

In short, a new voice can't come soon enough. Former Vice President Joe Biden, our oldest elected U.S. President, has a tall order ahead of him. He's not perfect, but in many ways he's already an improvement over his volatile predecessor. Things can only get better. 

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My 16th Annual Thanks/No Thanks List

Happy Thanksgiving, everyone. With five weeks remaining, very little could change the fact that 2020 has been a massive annus horribilis.  I've personally had worse years (longtime readers will remember my issues in 2009 and 2010) but I don't want to take away from anyone reading this that is struggling during the pandemic. Nearly everyone has had their lives upended this year, to the extent that we can't even enjoy ourselves with family. It's hard to feel thankful this year.

This year, I'm thankful for friends that may not be physically anywhere near me, but can be contacted on social media, as well as by phone or email. I joined Facebook 15 years ago this month, and for all its flaws it remains my primary means of communication. I'm also thankful to be working, even though I'm just as far from a real career as I was a decade ago.

Also, on this most unusual Thanksgiving I give a hearty "no thanks" to Qanon, anti-maskers, gaslighting (still), people in general that conflate minor inconveniences with liberty, and Sen. Mitch McConnell. I guess you can tell what's often on my mind. Yes, I know some of those things overlap.

To you, my loyal readers, onward and upward as we navigate the rest of the year together.

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My Nonessential Two Cents

Welcome to the Neverending Shutdown. If only it were a whimsical, underappreciated '80s fantasy movie...

I doubt anyone expected this partial government shutdown to last more than a few days. Sadly, you have to expect the unexpected with President Trump. His desperate, all-or-nothing bid for border wall funding has taken the nation hostage, and rather compromise in any way he wants to declare a national emergency. Trump has put himself in a Catch-22: if he caves on his beloved wall, he alienates his (presumably dwindling) core supporters and effectively loses reelection. If he gets his wall, Democrats that were on the fence about impeachment will surely flip. Beyond the usual backpedaling and finger-pointing, its hard to deny that the elongated shutdown is largely Trump's fault.

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My 11th Annual Thanks/No Thanks List

It's that time of year again. The airports are packed, the Butterball hotline is swamped, and Vegas is taking over/under bets for the Cowboys-Panthers game. Thanksgiving looms near, and as tradition indicates I will share what I'm thankful (and not thankful for). For better or worse, this year has given me plenty to think about:

Thanks: steady temp work, marriage equality, a "Peanuts" movie that was surprisingly charming, fewer stores open on Thanksgiving and/or Black Friday, the health and well-being of my family, and above all a Royals World Series championship.

No Thanks: ISIS/ISIL, xenophobia, incessant and wrongheaded debates about gun control, the Illinois fiscal budget crisis, possible sleep deprivation, and people that never answer their e-mails and messages.

Enjoy the holiday! If you'll excuse me, I need to figure what I'll write about for my milestone blog next month.

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2014 in Review, Part One

Something about 2014 just felt... lousy. With three weeks to go in the year, it seems like I can remember two negative moments in the year for every positive memory. I had a half-dozen friends and acquaintances get married this year, but just as many get divorced. On a personal level, I struggled to find stable employment as I accepted one crummy temp job after another. If you were an Illinoisan with any interest in politics, you lost both an iconic liberal (former Chicago Mayor Jane Byrne) and a respected moderate conservative (recently reelected State Comptroller Judy Baar Topinka). On a national scale, this was a bad year to be a Democrat and a feminist. On an international scale, Malaysian Airlines and most of Ukraine would like to pretend '14 never happened. The miraculous World Series run made by my beloved Kansas City Royals, 29 years after their last postseason and championship, was hampered by the possibility that it might be another three decades before it happens again.

This has also been a tough time to write topical humor. For the better part of two weeks, the most dominant news story has been about a African-American killed by a police officer under ambiguous circumstances. Some topics are just off-limits, and in a situations like Ferguson, MO and Staten Island it's almost impossible and just about tasteless to try joking about it. No matter what your stance is on the subject, this topic has a very limited angle for satire.

Additionally, this has been a rough year to be an SNL fan. The show's 40th anniversary --which will be celebrated as a prime time event in February 2015-- has been overshadowed by frustration and tragedy. This past summer saw the passings of cast member Jan Hooks and longtime announcer Don Pardo, and even though Robin Williams wasn't best known for being on the show, he was a frequent host in the 1980s. Not to be overlooked is the truck accident that nearly killed Tracy Morgan, a tragedy that was more serious than we originally thought. Least of all, the current state of the show could best be described as fledging; a whirlwind of cast changes in the last three seasons has a left a young, unproven ensemble still finding its voice. The biggest problem spot of all is Weekend Update, where the deer-in-the-headlights glances of head writer/co-anchor Colin Jost reminds us that some people should just stay behind the scenes.

So what did I enjoy this year? I'll discuss that in my next two blog posts.

Next Week: the year in music, 2014.

The War on 44

Earlier this week, the New York Post in conjunction with Quinnipiac University ranked the best and worst U.S. presidents since World War II. Of the 12 men that have held the office since Franklin Roosevelt's sudden passing in 1945, the unscientific poll ranked Barack Obama as the worst of the dozen. The choice wasn't a landslide; combined, the last two presidents earned 61% of the "worst president" vote, with Richard Nixon a distant third.

In late 2008, I wrote a two-part essay grading the George W. Bush administration. It was part retrospective and part moratorium, written three weeks before our 43rd president was to leave public life and well after any impact could be made to alter the legacy of his flawed presidency. I did not anticipate writing a similar essay about Barack Obama until December 2016 or January 2017, when our current Commander in Chief is expected to hand over the reins and segue into private life. Rest assured, 2 1/2 years from now I will write a similar essay in structure if not necessarily tone, and as far as I'm concerned that missive is only two-thirds written.

In all honesty, I've grown to accept the Obama administration for the mixed bag that it has truly become. I feel that for the near-constant criticism he has faced in the last 18 months, maybe half of the vitriol is justified. The progress he has made in support of energy regulation and LGBT rights certainly maintains his credibility in liberal social circles. Obama's steady hand in bolstering the economy and gradually creating job growth in the wake of the 2008-09 recession --without much help from a polarized Congress, mind you-- has been overlooked by the partisan fight over health care reform, questions about domestic privacy, and his aloof approach to foreign policy. At this time, Obama will rank in the middle of the pack, if not slightly below the average. If Martin Van Buren, Franklin Pierce, and James Buchanan have taught us anything, there have been far more incompetant leaders in our nation's 238-year history. If you want to rank just the presidents that won reelection, it's hard to argue that Obama was worse than the rudderless, scandal-plagued 8 year stint of Ulysses S. Grant. Or the aforementioned Tricky Dick. Or, if I dare suggest it, Bush 43.

It would be easy for me to dismiss this poll as meaningless, but at the same time hindsight is 20/20. As I stated not quite six years ago, we can't really analyze the legacy of a president until he's been out of office for a few years. If this poll were taken eight years ago, those surveyed would have chosen Bush 43 by a sizable margin. On top of that, Bush 43 and Obama are the first two presidents whose administrations were fully ingrained in the internet era, where anyone can say anything within the alleged anonymity of modern technology, and trolls and haters can repeat the same meme ad nauseum. The president's flaws have been magnified, every apparant blunder scrutinized to infinity.

It feels weird defending someone I have mixed feelings about. At the same time, the only people that are declaring President Obama a failure are the same critics that wished he would crash and burn six years ago. They take something that wasn't totally his fault --a Solyndra here, a Benghazi there-- and feast on it like ribs at a street festival. Most of the issues he has faced in office --immigration, Iraq, gun control-- are still lingering from past administrations. I voted for Obama in 2008, not because of the naive optimism that swooned my peers, but simply because he appeared to be the stronger of the two candidates. Begrudgingly, I did the same thing in 2012. The legacy of our 44th president is a hodgepodge, but also still up for interpretation, and not beyond repair. I just hate to imagine what the next guy will be up against.

Other notes:

+ I'm sure some of you might have noticed the name change above. After nearly two years of inconsistent blogging --about three entries a month-- it didn't make sense to call this "Stu's Weekly Updates" anymore. As much as I love the challenge of writing a new blog entry once a week, my hectic schedule simply doesn't permit it anymore. I'm not going anywhere, I'm just accepting my current reality.

Next Week: my third "Seasons of Love" TV essay.

Random Notes, September 2012

+ Something about Autumn depresses me. Even though it's still summer until September 21st, the temperatures have dropped and school is back in session. Something within the poetry of foliage and all things pumpkin alludes me. When the temperatures drop and I pull my hoodie out of the closet, it feels like an opportunity blown. It reminds me of a great athlete in his prime, then watching him fade into mediocrity and complacency as he ages. It makes me wish I'd savored the time he was in peak form.

+ Now we're in the home stretch. The conventions are over, and candidates are official, and the barrage of slanderous attack ads has begun. I've been opiniating throughout this whole, gruesome process --hell, since this blog began seven years ago-- and it's going to be very difficult for me to be quiet and sit on the fence until election day. As usual, I will continue to blather about President Obama and Governor Romney when I feel the uncontrollable urge to do so. I'm sure some of you have done the same.

+ I am truly, sincerely afraid that the hockey season will be lost again. You'd think Gary Bettman and the NHLPA had joined forces to run this great sport into the ground. I truly fear that hockey will become the team equivilant of boxing or horse racing, two sports that have been much better days.

+ Yes, I am supporting the Chicago Teachers Union. Who was asking?

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Camera Obscura

Does anyone know what the numero uno topic will be for November's election? I've completely lost track. Two months ago it was women's health, than it was gay marriage, two weeks ago it was a moratorium on health care reform, now it's shifted (rightfully) back to the economy. The drive of both presidential campaigns has been just as unfocused as the media's attention to the issues. CNN, Fox News, and MSNBC are embarassing themselves more so than ever.

A few days ago, my Facebook friend Ben Douwsma (click here for his blog) pointed out something that I'd been wondering for a few weeks now: this election is 2004 in reverse. Think about it: an weak incumbent against a weak challenger. Said incumbent is beloved by his party and detested by his critics. Said challenger is the former governor of Massachuetts, born into a political family. The challenger also has a history of flip-flopping and pandering, and there's little to fuel his campaign other than "get the other guy out of here." Weirder yet, the challenger was considered the "safe" choice for the party's nomination after a rival imploded during the primaries. The only parallel I can draw is the hot-button issue: in 2004, the incumbent had a strong economic outline and a questionable take on defense; in 2012 it's the opposite. The question now is, can Mitt Romney obviate from the same issues that crushed John Kerry?

Finally, I was somewhat upset to hear that after seven-plus years, TV.com might be pulling the plug on user blogs. Worse yet, commenting will be disabled by the end of this week. Even though I "similcast" my musings on Blogspot, to me it seems like CNet is moving forward in their mission to deemphasize the contributors that built this site and turn our little sanctuary into a weird cross between Hulu and Futon Critic. I'm upset, especially because I'm powerless about this profile overhaul. The excuse is that nobody blogs anymore, but in reality CNet scared off half the users on this site and banned the others. Forum traffic is at a fraction of what it was five years ago, and chances are discussion boards will be the next to go. Regardless, I've been contributing and posting on TV Tome/TV.com for nearly a decade now, and if the ship sinks I'm going down with it.

2012: The Half-Year in Jokes

For those of you who are Facebook friends or follow me on Twitter (@heystu818), I've been  known to write late night monologue-style jokes as status updates and/or tweets.  Late last year, I collected my strongest jokes of the previous year into one blog entry.  It proved somewhat tricky to edit down, and given the fickle nature of topical humor, several of my stronger gags didn't hold up to the end of the year. Instead of saving the whole list for year's end, I opted to break it in half.

With that said, this is my "monologue" for the first half of 2012:

+ Paula Deen announced yesterday that she's a Type 2 diabetic. You can find out more in the next issue of "I Already Kind of Assumed That" magazine. (1/18)

+ Jay Cutler and his on/off fiancee  Kristen Cavallari are reportedly expecting their first child. Apparently, the Bears' offensive line is also terrible at contraception. (1/23)

+ Presidential hopeful Ron Paul says he has a big youth following. I assume that's because most people under age 25 think he's the guy who played Gandalf. (1/26)

+ Following his performance at the Grammy Awards, the question "Who is Paul McCartney?" trended on Twitter. Luckily, one teenager had the levity to say, "Duh! That's Jesse's grandma!" (2/13)

+ Ralph Nader announced that he has not ruled out running for president in 2012. Upon hearing this, the cashier at Arby's nodded and asked if he wanted curly fries. (2/16)

+ A new study found that 15 percent of Americans under the age of 30 don’t have a job. They even have a name for that group: mass comm majors. (2/23)

+ Rush Limbaugh is under fire for calling a college student a slut. As a result, Limbaugh has been invited to join Kappa Kappa Gamma. (3/2)

+  Tonight is daylight savings, so I'd like to remind everyone that you'll be losing one hour of your life tonight. If you watch "Whitney" and "Are You There Chelsea," you know exactly what I'm talking about. (3/10)

+ Chaleo Yoovidhya, the developer of Red Bull, died last week at age 89. Per his request, his ashes were mixed with vodka and sold for $12 in a douchey nightclub. (3/24)

+ A British historical society declared that Britain’s greatest foe of all time was George Washington. Better luck next year, dentists. (4/17)

+ The oldest man in the United States turned 111 in March. For his birthday, he got a steak dinner, a phone call from the Vice President, and a rotation spot with the Colorado Rockies. (4/22)

+ Rick Perry has officially endorsed Mitt Romney, citing his rival's love of country, his economic policy, and... uh... there was a third one... (4/29)

+ Levi Johnston and his girlfriend revealed that they will name their child Breeze Beretta. No word yet on whether the baby will be a boy, a girl, or a scented candle. (5/6)

+ A new study shows that a high-frustose diet can cause ADD and memory loss. I have two puppies. What time is lunch? (5/15)

+ Eugene Polley, co-inventor of the TV remote control, died today at age 96. Per his request, he will be buried between two giant sofa cushions. (5/22)

+ Taco Bell says it has sold 100 million Doritos Locos Tacos in the past 10 weeks. Also selling briskly since late March? Imodium. (6/6)

+ The Electronic Entertainment Expo is currently going on in LA. On display this year are new mobile games, 3D innovations, and a real-life woman. (6/9)

+ CBS has taken ABC to court for launching a reality show deemed too similar to "Big Brother." However, the judge approved ABC's other new show, "Braindead Italians of the Mid-Atlantic Coast." (6/15)

+ Teen prodigy Shouryya Ray, the boy that solved a math problem posed by Isaac Newton 350 years ago, may not have actually solved the equation. Worse yet, his classmates have grown suspicious about his girlfriend in Canada. (6/24)

Enjoy your 4th of July!

My Last Blog of the Decade!

Looking back at this past year, my taste in TV shows shifted ever so slightly. I've never been on a high diet of crime procedurals or science fiction, and I don't watch as many reality shows as I used to, so luckily for me it was a strong year for new comedies. As some of my old favorites continued to age, I found plenty of fresh blood to keep me entertained. Unlike my monthly music inventories, my list of five favorites is not intended to be complete; sometimes I read those critics' best-of lists, and it's like they're taunting me for nothing having HBO or Showtime. Nevertheless...
　
1. "Mad Men," AMC. Just when the muted angst and slow-like-molasses plot movement was about to drive fans away, some British dude gets run over by John Deere tractor. As grotesque as that scene might've been, it was an unexpected high point in what was probably the show's strongest season yet. The JFK assassination, the defining moment in American history that warped the perfected, Camelot-esque existences of nearly every principal character, was treated with realism, gravitas, and an unexpected level of shock. Memorable Episodes: "Guy Walks Into An Ad Agency," "The Grown-Ups," "Shut The Door, Have a Seat."
2. "Parks & Recreation," NBC. This show might be the pleasant surprise of the year. What was initally conceived as a slapped-together, in-it-for-the-money spinoff of "The Office" has become a tight political satire about the lowest and seemingly irrelevant rungs of local government. If this show was merely a star vehicle for Amy Poehler, P&R would've died a quick death. Instead, it thrives on the strength of its supporting cast; Aniz Ansari has found a breakthrough role in affable d-bag Tom Haverford, while Nick Offerman has proven to be a Rock of Gibralter as breakfast-loving sourpuss Ron Swanson. Memorable Episodes: "The Stakeout," "Practice Date," "Kaboom."
3. "Community," NBC. I'm surprised that I haven't seen this show on more best-of lists. Much like its fellow Thursday night comedies, "Community" revels in the latent absurity of its setting (a West Coast junior college) and the precision-like casting of its ensemble (dark horse Emmy consideration for Joel McHale and Danny Pudi). Memorable Episodes: "Spanish 101," "Football, Feminism, and You," "Debate 109."
4. "Modern Family," ABC. Though nothing will ever replace "Arrested Development" in most comedy geeks' hearts, "Family" is a strong heir apparant. Brownie points to Ed O'Neill for not playing his grandfather/sugar daddy character as a rehash of Al Bundy, and Ty Burrell may very well be reinventing the cookie-cutter "idiot dad" archetype. Memorable Episodes: "The Bicycle Thief," "Come Fly With Me."
5. "Better Off Ted," ABC. Like my #4 pick, "Ted" is the next-generation model of another brilliant-but-cancelled early '00s Fox series, "Andy Richter Controls The Universe." (The fact that it's produced by Michael Fresco and co-stars Jon Slavin is no coincidence.) Alas, it appears that nobody's watching and ABC is antsing to pull the plug, so enjoy this while you can. Memorable Episodes: "Racial Sensitivity," "Jabberwocky."
Honorable Mentions: "Glee," Fox; "American Dad," Fox.

Best British Import: "Look Around You." A wry parody of the educational strips that you watched in elementary school, with topics ranging from math to germs. "Look Around You" aired for two seasons on BBC earlier in the decade, but it became a cult favorite online and Adult Swim picked up the TV rights in early '09. Each episode is about ten minutes long, which also makes it perfect for viewing on YouTube.

Of course, no year is perfect. These were my three least favorite TV shows in '09:
　
1. "Sit Down Shut Up," Fox. A complete mess of a show, from the one-dimensional characters to the forced, repetitive premise of nearly every episode. What makes this especially disappointing is that no less than six major players on this show were alums of the brilliant "Arrested Development," including producer Mitch Hurwitz and stars Jason Bateman, Will Arnett, and Henry Winkler.
2. "The Jay Leno Show," NBC. I can't believe it took an overhyped time slot change to convince most of America what most comedy connisseurs have known since 1992: Jay Leno just isn't that funny.
3. "Secret Girlfriend," Comedy Central. A homage to '80s sex-farce movies, with "you" as the main character. There's precious little artistic license here; a unique twist on the single-camera concept is wasted on frat boys punching each other and gratutious shots of scantly-clad women jigging around.

I conclude my last blog of the decade (and the year, I guess) with a quick reflection at everything that's changed in the past ten years. What stands out most in my mind is the number of technological advances made since then. Think about it: in January 2000, there was no Facebook, MySpace, Wikipedia, YouTube, or Twitter, Huffington Post, or Townhall.com. There was no iPhone, iTunes, or iPod, though iMacs were still the rage. There were no plasma TVs, DVRs, or converter boxes. Three of the most-used search engines in the United States were AskJeeves.com, AltaVista, and Netscape, with Google just barely in the top ten. Blackberry was in its nascent stages, and was little more than an expensive walkie-talkie. Only a select handful of people had ever texted, and you couldn't access your e-mail on your cell phone. The majority of Americans still used a landline to go online. Even TV Tome, the for-us, by-us TV episode guide that evolved into the site we know today as TV.com, wasn't launched until June 2000.

It was a terrible decade in terms of foreign and domestic affairs, and a shrill and bloated ten years in pop culture; however, it was the American political dynamic that changed most signifigantly, and probably not for the better. In 1999 we had two major political parties finding a very delicate semblance of bipartisanship; that was followed by a gung-ho, all-encompassing Republican majority that ignored its opponents as it tried to push through a mountain of high-impact and controversial legislation while losing favor with the American public, which was then succeeded by a Democratic majority that was essentially doing the same thing. The rift between conservatives and liberals has grown exponentially, and the internet has become a new battleground for their partisan bickering. Political discourse has become a multimedia haymaker of illogical conspiracy theories, self-righteousness, and constant reinforcement of the same tired bullet points. On the other hand, ten years ago Gary Condit, Jack Ryan, Duke Cunningham, Mark Foley, Larry Craig, John Edwards, Eliot Spitzer, Rod Blagojevich, John Ensign, and Mark Sanford were still by and large upstanding public citizens, so maybe it wasn't all that bad.

What will happen in the next ten years is anyone's guess. I guess that's the thrill of the future; it's a big frontier where anyone can stake a claim. So many elements of our culture hit their nadir in the 2000s, and from this point there's nowhere to go but up. It may not be a clean slate, but there's plenty of room for opportunity. I wish you all a wonderful 2010, and make sure to savor every moment that you can.