Where Am I Going? Where Are You Going?

Last week before class, I was eating lunch with an improv classmate. He's 22 and on the verge of graduating from Northwestern, and we were discussing life in general. At one point he asked me why I'm in the conservatory program. "Why are you doing this," he asked repeatedly. He knew I was an intellectual of sorts, but at the same time he seemed to think I was wasting my natural abilities on just improv. I explained to him my job situation and my passion for improv and comedy, but he kept asking "why." Eventually he settled on my desire to write comedy professionally and possibly pursue a future in theater. He wasn't totally placated, but it was the best answer I could give him.

Less than fourteen months from now, I will be turning 30 years old. In a slightly less intimidating sense, I will be turning 29 in about seven weeks. I suppose I feel neurotic about my birthday because I thought I would be established at this point. That can be a loaded word, but that's how I feel. For all my accomplishments in improv, my burgeoning Twitter feed, not to mention a smattering of published articles, that pretty much sums up my first 5 1/2 years since graduating college. I feel like I've achieved a few things but accomplished so little at the same time. The career that I aspired for disintegrated a little over three years ago, and my current temp job is nowhere near a career. In the last year I've garnered two job interviews out of hundreds of job applications. I don't know if I'm doing something wrong or if I'm just another member of an increasingly lost generation of Americans.

Judging from my accomplishments in the previous paragraph, one might assume my primary issue is a lack of motivation or direction. That is not totally true. Since my career in radio came to an abrupt halt I've been trying to parlay my improv "hobby" into something greater. I've been marketing myself as a comedy writer first and a comedic actor and improviser second. What people don't realize about improv is that there's very little money there; that ability to think on your feet and create scenes and situations from thin air is meant to progress into bigger and better things. My monologue-style jokes aside, most of what I've written lately has been based on scenes I've performed in class with my conservatory ensemble at Second City. I had some part in the creation of four short films in 2012, and though my 2013 output so far pales in comparison I'm still banging away on the keyboard. I have a better idea of how to market myself than I did two years ago.
In a nutshell, Rome wasn't built in a day. Some of us are late bloomers. As long as you're in my corner, I think I'll be alright.

Other notes:

+ So it turns out my father has B-Cell Lymphona. In a nutshell, it could be Hodgkin's Disease or it might not; it's literally 50/50. With that said, it was caught early and there is an 85% survival rate, so some type of radiation or chemotherapy is imminent. This will not be an easy path to take, but there's room for optimism. I'll keep you posted.

+ The NSA is tapping our phones?! Wow, I'm so shocked... in 2006. Heck, even Stephen Colbert was joking about it when he famously grilled President Bush at the White House Correspondents' Dinner that year. It scares me too, don't get me wrong, but at the same time our collective memory...

+ That was probably one of the best finishes to a hockey game I've ever seen. Congratulations again to the Blackhawks.

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Child is Father to the Blogger

After three months and multiple delays, my father finally had his brain surgery on Friday. We were informed two days earlier that the growth in his skull was spreading again, and that it would have to be removed sometime in the next 10 days or so. On Thursday the hospital scheduled the procedure for 9:30 AM the next day; I was forced to request a day off work on less than 24 hours' notice, a personal first. I spent most of Friday morning and afternoon with my mother sitting outside the ER; she nonchalantly skimmed through a magazine while I tried to get some writing done for class. For all intents and purposes, she was a complete trooper.

Judging from first impressions, the surgery was a success. The growth was removed, but it's still not clear if the tumor was cancerous or not. (Yes, it was a tumor.) At the same time, the aftereffects are yet to be determined. He doesn't seem to have any sensorimotor issues, and his speech is not slurred. However, my dad might have blurriness in his right eye --he's already very nearsighted-- and possibly some short term memory less. When I visited on Saturday, there didn't seem to be any noticeable permanent damage; he was watching TV and conversing without any issue. At the same time, he was a little tired and still feeling quite dizzy.

Thank you again for the thoughts and good vibes and may you all have a Happy Father's Day.

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Through a Third Freshman's Eyes

Get ready to feel old again!

For the third year in a row, I present my assumptive Mindset List for graduating high school kids/incoming college freshmen. This year's high school grads were born in late 1994 or early-to-mid 1995, mere preschoolers at the turn of the millennium. I can't speak on behalf of Americans ten years my junior (!) and these observations may not be totally representative of all 18-year-olds, but it's certainly something to wrap your head around. Besides, why should we wait for Beloit College's annual list in three months?

(NOTE: if anything may appear to be missing, I was just trying to avoid overlap from last year's list. Click here for said blog entry.)

With that said, if you are an incoming college freshman...

...there has never been an Alfred P. Murrah Federal Building.
...with the exception of a four-year gap in the late 2000s, the GOP has always controlled the House of Representatives.
...women have always been able to captain a space shuttle.
...your British friends have never invested in Barings Bank.
...Michael Jordan has only retired twice.
...there has always been at least one NBA team in Canada.
...there has never been an NFL team in Los Angeles, but there's always been one in northern Florida.
...Kevin Garnett, Jerry Stackhouse, and Kurt Thomas have always played in the NBA.
...the Major League Baseball season has never been shortened by, nor subjected to, a strike or work stoppage.
...you have never seen a sporting event inside Chicago Stadium or Boston Garden.
...the San Francisco 49ers have never won a Super Bowl.
...Cal Ripken Jr. has always owned the record for all-time consecutive games played.
...Connie Chung has never co-anchored the CBS Nightly News.
...you never saw Chris Farley or Adam Sandler on Saturday Night Live.
...classic kids' shows like "Ghostwriter," "Legends of the Hidden Temple," and "Tiny Toon Adventures" have existed only in repeats.
...Jon Stewart has never been on any cable channel besides Comedy Central.
...Jay Leno has always beaten David Letterman in the ratings.
...you have never had a sip of Coke II, and you don't know what it used to be called.
...you have never seen a first-class postage stamp below 30 cents.
...Mickey Mantle, Jerry Garcia, Ginger Rogers, Selena, Ed Flanders, Michael O'Donoghue, Shannon Hoon, Easy E, Wolfman Jack, Orville Redenbacher, Peter Cook, Donald Pleasance, Elizabeth Montgomery, Dr. Jonas Salk, and Bob "Happy Trees" Ross have always been dead.
..."The Far Side" and "Calvin & Hobbes" have never run in your local newspaper.
...you've probably never read a newspaper.

If you have anything else to add, let me know. Writing these lists are both inspiring and depressing.

My Eighth Annual Fantasy Emmy Ballot

For all intents and purposes, the 2012-13 television season is in the books. A little speculation is already brewing for this year's Emmys, and for the eighth year in a row I will throw my most educated guesses into the gauntlet. It was a weak year for first-year series so I don't expect too many fresh faces, but the rise of pay-on-demand original programming (thanks, Netflix!) might prove to be a curious X-factor. Than again, I predicted minimal turnover last year and look at how that turned out.

With that said, here is my 2013 Fantasy Emmy Ballot:

Writing in a Variety/Comedy/Music Series: (name listed is head writer) Barry Julien, The Colbert Report; Mike Sweeney, Conan; Steve Bodow, The Daily Show with Jon Stewart; A.D. Miles, Late Night with Jimmy Fallon; Bill Maher, Real Time with Bill Maher; Colin Jost and Seth Meyers, Saturday Night Live.
Outstanding Variety/Comedy/Music Series: "The Colbert Report," Comedy Central; "Conan," TBS; "The Daily Show with Jon Stewart," Comedy Central; "Jimmy Kimmel Live," ABC; "Late Night with Jimmy Fallon," NBC; "Saturday Night Live," NBC.

Outstanding Miniseries or Made-for-TV Movie: "American Horror Story: Asylum," FX; "Behind the Candelabra," HBO; "Political Animals," USA; "Phil Spector," HBO; "Top of the Lake," Sundance Channel.

Supporting Actress, Comedy: Mayim Bialik, The Big Bang Theory; Julie Bowen, Modern Family; Jane Krakowski, 30 Rock; Sofia Vergara, Modern Family; Jessica Walter, Arrested Development; Allison Williams, Girls.
Supporting Actor, Comedy: Ty Burrell, Modern Family; Jesse Tyler Ferguson, Modern Family; Max Greenfield, New Girl; Neil Patrick Harris, How I Met Your Mother; Ed O'Neill, Modern Family; Eric Stonestreet, Modern Family.
Supporting Actress, Drama: Morena Baccarin, Homeland; Christine Baranski, The Good Wife; Joanne Froggatt, Downton Abbey; Anna Gunn, Breaking Bad; Christina Hendricks, Mad Men; Dame Maggie Smith, Downton Abbey.
Supporting Actor, Drama: Jim Carter, Downton Abbey; Peter Dinklage, Game of Thrones; Gabriel Byrne, Vikings; Aaron Paul, Breaking Bad; James Purefoy, The Following; John Slattery, Mad Men.

Lead Actress, Comedy: Lena Dunham, Girls; Edie Falco, Nurse Jackie; Tina Fey, 30 Rock; Julia Louis-Dreyfus, Veep; Melissa McCarthy, Mike & Molly; Amy Poehler, Parks & Recreation.
Lead Actor, Comedy: Alec Baldwin, 30 Rock; Jason Bateman, Arrested Development; Louie C.K. Louie; Johnny Galecki, The Big Bang Theory; Jim Parsons, The Big Bang Theory; Matthew Perry, Go On.
Lead Actress, Drama: Connie Britton, Nashville; Claire Danes, Homeland; Michelle Dockery, Downton Abbey; Julianna Margulies, The Good Wife; Keri Russell, The Americans; Kerry Washington, Scandal.
Lead Actor, Drama: Steve Buscemi, Boardwalk Empire; Bryan Cranston, Breaking Bad; Jeff Daniels, The Newsroom; Jon Hamm, Mad Men; Damian Lewis, Homeland; Kevin Spacey, House of Cards.

Best Comedy Series: "30 Rock," NBC; "The Big Bang Theory," CBS; "Girls," HBO; "Modern Family," ABC; "Parks & Recreation," NBC; "Veep," HBO.
Best Drama Series: "Boardwalk Empire," HBO; "Breaking Bad," AMC; "Game of Thrones," HBO; "Homeland," Showtime; "House of Cards," Netflix; "Mad Men," AMC.

I look forward to the debate that will ensue.

Next Week: my Class of '13 memory list.

Taxing Matters

Say what you will about President Obama, but one thing is now certain: the "second term curse" is in full swing.  Ronald Reagan had Iran-Contra, Bill Clinton had Monica Lewinsky, Bush 43 had the triple-whammy of Scooter Libby, a failing war, and Hurricane Katrina. Our current president has a situation in three different fronts: alleged IRS penalties on organizations tied to the Tea Party, suspected invasions of privacy on White House reporters, and of course Benghazi.

After some initial waffling, the White House is taking some accountability for the IRS conspiracy.  The story of President Obama's chief of staff knowing three weeks before he did is troubling, to put it mildly. The layman's theory --one I'm still debating in my head-- is that these Tea Party organizations and their established opposition to any and all taxation made them easy targets. At the same time, maybe they really are tax cheats, it's all politics and they're simply crying foul to get the president right where they want him. Even then, the Watergate comparisons are tricky to ignore.

Other notes:

+ It's a shame of sorts that "Other Voices," The Doors' first album after Jim Morrison's death, has been largely forgotten. It was written immediately after "L.A. Woman" with the assumption that Jim would return from France and do his thing. Instead, the three surviving members (but mostly Ray Manzarek) would take turns on lead vocals; collectively they couldn't match Morrison's power and charisma, but the effort was noble. All in all, "Other Voices" is a forgotten gem of the early '70s. Break on through, Ray.

+ I am not doing that well in fantasy baseball this year. Both of my teams are second-division, a mild indignation for some but a rarity for me. My pre-season rankings were erased by a glitch on Yahoo Fantasy the day before my first draft, forcing me to piece something together. I did alright during the first week but I've been lagging over since.

Next week: my 8th Annual Fantasy Emmy Ballot.

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Sanford's Sun

I was convinced Mark Sanford would lose in a nailbiter. I was not expecting a Colbert-Busch blowout, but a realistically narrow victory in an unapologetically red state. With his victory last week, Sanford found gainful employment in the government again, but he still paid a price for the sex scandal that resulted in his censure by the South Carolina government. In other words, this was a short-term victory for the Palmetto State but a long-term loss for the GOP.

I am not willing, however to call Sanford's win a redemption story. It's barely even a comeback. More than likely, he'll spend the rest of his political career in the more crowded chamber, with any potential run for senate or even the presidency tainted by his infidelities. In a way, this news blurb reminds me of George O'Leary, who briefly (emphasis on "briefly") served as head coach of the once-hallowed Notre Dame football program. O'Leary embarrassed himself in the public eye --he lied about his credentials-- than redeemed himself in a somewhat obscure scouting position. Both men found a pretty decent glass ceiling.

Other notes:

+ Good news! The treatment is apparently working, and the growth in my dad's skull seems to be shrinking. As a result, the surgery was postponed again; if and when it actually does happen, it'll probably be in early June. Keep sending the good vibes!

+ What happened in Benghazi in September 2012 was a gross act of incompetence; there is no cover-up, nor is there any reason to demonize former Secretary Clinton. Any speculation is just bluster and partisan posturing. That's why the mainstream media isn't paying more attention to the incident.

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