May already? Where did the first third of the year go?
It's already prom season at most of the local high schools, which means graduation is in a few weeks. As I've done in past years, I've written a list that offers the world perspective of the average American high school senior, most of whom were born in either 1996 or 1997. This was inspired (or ripped off, depending on your perspective) by the "mindset list" that Beloit College releases every year. Here goes:
If you're a graduating senior...
...Hong Kong has always been part of China.
...you're used to a woman being U.S. Secretary of State.
...divorce has always been legal in Ireland.
...scientists have always been cloning farm animals.
...NASA has always been able to explore Mars.
...there has always been at least one electric car on American highways.
...there have always been Asian long-horned beetles on American soil.
...Ellen Degeneres has always been openly gay.
...you've never had a combo meal at Burger Chef.
...you've never shopped at Venture, Woolworth's, Handy Andy, Thrift Drug, or Omni Superstore.
...Steve Jobs was never been associated with any company besides Apple.
...the Freedom of Information Act has always been in effect.
...the Dow Jones Industrial Average has never been below 6,000.
...there has never been a hotel in Las Vegas called the Hacienda.
...you don't understand why '90s kids much such a big deal out of "The Simpsons."
..."South Park" and Toonami have always been on TV.
...TV has always had parental guidance ratings.
...TV has always had those little watermarks on the lower corner of the screen that tells you which network you're watching.
...Bryant Gumbel has never hosted "Today," and Bob Saget has never hosted "America's Funniest Home Videos."
...The Disney Channel has always been a basic cable channel (as opposed to, say, HBO or Showtime).
...Kobe Bryant has always played in the NBA.
...Gregg Popovich has always been head coach of the San Antonio Spurs.
...you have likely never attended a Hartford Whalers game, and there has always been an NHL team in North Carolina.
...the Florida --er, Miami-- Marlins have a tendency to win championships, then completely disembowel the team shortly after.
...Tupac Shakur, Spiro Agnew, Morey Amsterdam, Eva Cassidy, Tiny Tim, Pete Rozelle, Carl Sagan, JonBenet Ramsey, Townes Van Zandt, Deng Xiaoping, Biggie Smalls, Willem de Kooning, Allen Ginsberg, Laura Nyro, Blackstone the magician, Gianni Versace, Robert Mitchum, Jimmy Stewart, Charles Kuralt, Fela Kuti, William S. Burroughs, Brandon Tartikoff, Princess Diana, and Mother Teresa have always been dead.
Am I missing anything? I'm asking in earnest, but I understand if you don't want to add to this blighted nostalgia trip.
(479)
Sunday, May 10, 2015
Wednesday, April 29, 2015
Promotion Commotion: Five Years Later
Five years ago this week, I was replaced at my position at Salem Communications' Chicago branch. It was the culmination of 3 1/2 months of sitting on my hands, and the end of 11 quixotic years of pursuing my lifelong dream of a career in the radio industry. I went into greater detail about those final few months in a blog four years ago, and though I'm not necessarily at peace with how things played out, radio is a chapter in my life that is mostly behind me.
Even if that career path didn't totally pan out, part of me couldn't quite give up radio. In April 2011, I landed a job interview for a producer/sound engineer position for a time-brokered* show. The host of the show was a "life guru" and fitness expert who lived in a giant house in a tony Chicago suburb. Her show was on my old station for a short time, so I knew the name and the concept. The first two-thirds of the interview went fine; it was a pleasant conversation with just a handful of the usual bullet-point interview questions. I mentioned I had a blog --this blog-- when she asked for a sample of my writing; I nonchalantly showed her a recent entry and she discovered we different political beliefs. The interview was more or less over.
In hindsight, I dodged two bullets. The guy who helped me land the interview admitted that the life guru was an egomaniac and at times impossible to work with. If something bad happened, he claimed, everyone would take the blame except her. As such, her time-brokered* show has been on and off hiatus several times since our meeting in Hinsdale. By mid-2011 my search for radio work in any capacity was treading water, so I put more energy into finding work that suited my other skills.
Being replaced at the cluster was the second bullet. Since was I dismissed on April 30th, 2010, there have been four different people in my old position. The candidate that my disingenuous business manager preferred lasted 11 months before quitting, and there's been a different person at the front desk every year or two since. As I feared and rightfully assumed, both stations are more concerned with putting out a mediocre, pandering product for a fringe audience rather than compete with top Chicago AM stations like WLS, WGN, and WBBM. Things hit a bizarre nadir when this happened, as brazen and transparent a publicity stunt can get.
Though the tone of this blog post might seem spiteful, I'm happier now than I was in the waning days of my run at Salem. I no longer have to hide the fact that I'm a progressive in an office that was overwhelmingly conservative, and I no longer deal with irate listeners or incompetent management. I still volunteer from time to time at the station where I worked in community college, and for posterity I recorded some new airchecks last year. I still have some misgivings, but overall I'm better off.
(478)
*Purchased airtime on a radio station, usually as weekend programming filler, often a thinly veiled informercial.
Even if that career path didn't totally pan out, part of me couldn't quite give up radio. In April 2011, I landed a job interview for a producer/sound engineer position for a time-brokered* show. The host of the show was a "life guru" and fitness expert who lived in a giant house in a tony Chicago suburb. Her show was on my old station for a short time, so I knew the name and the concept. The first two-thirds of the interview went fine; it was a pleasant conversation with just a handful of the usual bullet-point interview questions. I mentioned I had a blog --this blog-- when she asked for a sample of my writing; I nonchalantly showed her a recent entry and she discovered we different political beliefs. The interview was more or less over.
In hindsight, I dodged two bullets. The guy who helped me land the interview admitted that the life guru was an egomaniac and at times impossible to work with. If something bad happened, he claimed, everyone would take the blame except her. As such, her time-brokered* show has been on and off hiatus several times since our meeting in Hinsdale. By mid-2011 my search for radio work in any capacity was treading water, so I put more energy into finding work that suited my other skills.
Being replaced at the cluster was the second bullet. Since was I dismissed on April 30th, 2010, there have been four different people in my old position. The candidate that my disingenuous business manager preferred lasted 11 months before quitting, and there's been a different person at the front desk every year or two since. As I feared and rightfully assumed, both stations are more concerned with putting out a mediocre, pandering product for a fringe audience rather than compete with top Chicago AM stations like WLS, WGN, and WBBM. Things hit a bizarre nadir when this happened, as brazen and transparent a publicity stunt can get.
Though the tone of this blog post might seem spiteful, I'm happier now than I was in the waning days of my run at Salem. I no longer have to hide the fact that I'm a progressive in an office that was overwhelmingly conservative, and I no longer deal with irate listeners or incompetent management. I still volunteer from time to time at the station where I worked in community college, and for posterity I recorded some new airchecks last year. I still have some misgivings, but overall I'm better off.
(478)
*Purchased airtime on a radio station, usually as weekend programming filler, often a thinly veiled informercial.
Wednesday, April 22, 2015
Seasons of Love: 1999
In the past, I've alluded to (and espoused upon) the argument that 1999 was one of my favorite years of TV. The last year of the 20th century was a pop culture watershed; everything from cinema to literature seemed to benefit from Y2K paranoia and the encroaching sense that some kind of era was ending. (I wrote about 1999 in music a few years ago.) Network TV had a bumper crop of half-hour, multi-camera comedies, and following the success of "The Simpsons" and "South Park," a record number of prime-time animated series. It was also perhaps the last great year for network TV, before cable and premium channels lured aspiring show-runners and wannabe auteurs with creative freedom and implied accolades. Plus, you can binge-watch just about all of these shows online now, rather than set your VCR recorder and hope for the best.
NOTE: All of the following episodes mentioned aired during the 1998-99 and 1999-00 TV seasons; however, I chose only episodes that aired during the 1999 calendar year.
1. The Sopranos, HBO. Bada bing! The latest (last?) great era of television began in January '99, with the story of a New Jersey mob capo who discreetly goes into therapy. Almost overnight the show became a pop culture sensation, turned HBO (and premium cable) a beacon for "prestige" programming, and made beleaguered mobster Tony Soprano a household name. Memorable Episodes: "Pilot," "Nobody Knows Anything," "I Dream of Jeannie Cusamano"
2. Freaks and Geeks, NBC. The patron saint of one-year wonders and "brilliant but cancelled" discussions, Judd Apatow's most enduring creation was both a sweetly awkward look at teen angst in the early '80s and a farm team for cinematic comedy in the late 2000s. Memorable Episodes: "Pilot," "Kim Kelly is My Friend"
3. The West Wing, NBC. Following in the long, proud tradition of high-caliber, large ensamble cast dramas on The Peacock, TWW had the novel idea of turning political science into must-watch television. Though the White House staff was meant to be the core of the show, Aaron Sorkin and company found their heart in America's favorite fictional president, Josiah Bartlett. Memorable Episodes: "Five Votes Down," "In Excelsis Deo"
4. Will & Grace, NBC. Deemed the "feel-gay show of the year" by Entertainment Weekly, the show transcended its then-controversial premise (gay man and straight woman living as roommates) and wobbly start to become a charmingly campy, witty farce and NBC's next tentpole comedy. Sean Hayes and Megan Mullally won well-deserved Emmys in 2000 as the lead characters' sidekicks, swishy Jack and lush Karen. Memorable Episodes: "Grace, Replaced," "Das Boob," "Homo for the Holidays"
5. The Simpsons, Fox. While this wasn't the Springfield clan's finest year, the show had a creative rebound of sorts after a very uneven 9th season. It's staggering to think that at one time, even after a decade on the air, fans were worried the show was going to be cancelled. Even if the show got gag-heavy and reliant on celebrity cameos, it was still better than, say, "Dharma & Greg." Memorable Episodes: "Maximum Homerdrive," "Simpsons Bible Stories," "Hello Gutter, Hello Fadder"
Five Honorable Mentions (in no order): "King of the Hill," Fox (memorable episodes: "A Firefighting We Will Go," "Hank's Cowboy Movie," "Bills Are Made to Be Broken"); "South Park," Comedy Central (memorable episodes: "Spontaneous Combustion," "Chinpokomon," "Hooked on Monkey Phonics"); "Action," Fox (memorable episodes: "Pilot," "Blowhard"); "Futurama," Fox (memorable episodes: "The Series Has Landed," "Hell is Other Robots," "A Flight to Remember"); and "Sports Night," ABC (memorable episodes: "Dana and the Deep Blue Sea," "Eli's Coming," "Cliff Gardner").
Your thoughts?
Monday, April 13, 2015
Don't Say a Word
In the end, it was a big journalistic train wreck. Earlier this month, the Columbia Journalism Review determined that a 2014 article in Rolling Stone magazine about sexual assault was likely totally fabricated. The article, written by Sabrina Erdely, focused on a University of Virginia undergrad who was gang-raped by her peers. Erdely, who has been criticized for fabricating details in the past, apparently ignored every journalistic commandment in the book: elevating fact-gathering over moral narratives; hunting down info; asking pointed questions. She made Rolling Stone hopelessly foolish, and a writing career that was already on the rocks is likely sinking into the abyss. Erdely's piece wasn't so much literary non-fiction as it was agenda-driven mythmaking. The story behind the story has become more interesting than the original article itself.
Part of the public outrage behind this scandal is fueled by the "rape culture" discussion that has hit fever pitch in recent years. Feminists have argued that rape is pervasive and has been normalized in the broader culture as a result of generations of traditional gender roles, and such instances are quickly and wrongfully dismissed. Erdely assumed that by interviewing the victim only and glossing over the frat brothers that she demonized, it would both sustain the brutal perspective she desired as well as cater to the audience she was preaching to. The editors of Rolling Stone, famed equally for somewhat archaic music journalism and left-leaning muckraking, thought this was the eye-opening scare story that this burgeoning controversy needed to start a broader discussion. Instead, it created a whole different scandal.
Just because one woman exaggerated allegations of sexual assault --or a second woman made up details about the first woman's encounter-- does not downplay the fact that rape is a serious issue, especially on college campuses. It happens on campuses across the country almost on a daily basis, yet most cases of rape are never reported or swept under the rug. This is a major issue that has been pandemic for several years (if not decades), but there is hardly anything to indicate that the collegiate rape crisis is under control, if not going away. Instead, Erdely and her lack of ethics has nearly trivialized a crisis without solution or resolve.
Next Week: my latest "Seasons of Love" TV essay.
(476)
Part of the public outrage behind this scandal is fueled by the "rape culture" discussion that has hit fever pitch in recent years. Feminists have argued that rape is pervasive and has been normalized in the broader culture as a result of generations of traditional gender roles, and such instances are quickly and wrongfully dismissed. Erdely assumed that by interviewing the victim only and glossing over the frat brothers that she demonized, it would both sustain the brutal perspective she desired as well as cater to the audience she was preaching to. The editors of Rolling Stone, famed equally for somewhat archaic music journalism and left-leaning muckraking, thought this was the eye-opening scare story that this burgeoning controversy needed to start a broader discussion. Instead, it created a whole different scandal.
Just because one woman exaggerated allegations of sexual assault --or a second woman made up details about the first woman's encounter-- does not downplay the fact that rape is a serious issue, especially on college campuses. It happens on campuses across the country almost on a daily basis, yet most cases of rape are never reported or swept under the rug. This is a major issue that has been pandemic for several years (if not decades), but there is hardly anything to indicate that the collegiate rape crisis is under control, if not going away. Instead, Erdely and her lack of ethics has nearly trivialized a crisis without solution or resolve.
Next Week: my latest "Seasons of Love" TV essay.
(476)
Tuesday, March 31, 2015
30 Teams, 30 Haiku: My 2015 Baseball Preview
According to the latest issue of Beckett Sports Card Monthly, the card depicted above is worth about 50 cents. In my heart, however this card is priceless; it's a tangible reminder of last October, of the most unlikely of playoff runs, of a once-moribund franchise back in the national spotlight after decades of futility. An all-time classic tiebreaker against Oakland gave way to a small-ball manhandling of the Angels and Orioles and the third pennant in franchise history. The season may not have ended the way I would've liked --what Royals World Series isn't complete without a controversial call at first?-- and we're underdogs again in 2015, and my faith in the Boys in Blue hasn't wavered. Lowered expectations or not, this is the most excited I've been about a new baseball season in quite some time.
With that said, for the fourth year in a row I present my MLB forecast, 17 soma at a time (with asterisks noting wild cards):
NL EAST
1. Nationals. Bratty Bryce Harper/World Series hopes rest upon/your snotty shoulders.
2. Marlins*. Loria's pockets/run deep, but Giancarlo/needs to earn his keep.
3. Mets. Harvey and deGrom/young arms will play a role as/playoff dark horses.
4. Braves. The tomahawk chop/landed on payroll; these guys/are now rebuilding.
5. Phillies. Start the fire sale/Ryno in a china shop/a team in chaos.
NL CENTRAL
1. Cardinals. Waiting for Waino/injury-prone warrior/X-factor in red.
2. Cubs. Yes, they are improved/but there's too much youth, upside/to really contend.
3. Pirates. Ann-yo, Jung-Ho Kang/this Korean sensation/is no Bulgogi.
4. Brewers. Overachieving/explains the '14 collapse/reality looms.
5. Reds. Gambling on Votto/may as well be Lotto; health/is a big question.
NL WEST
1. Giants. Same fightin’ Giants/third baseman notwithstanding/they win as a team.
2. Dodgers*. What an overhaul/new faces, proven talent/”west coast Yankees” thrive.
3. Padres. Many big gambles/free agent champs, regular/season also-rans.
4. D-Backs. Front office cleanout/young guns, but without pitching/these Snakes won’t slither.
5. Rockies. Who gets injured first/Tulo, Cargo, or Morneau?/Who cares, they’re awful.
AL EAST
1. Orioles. Despite injuries/and free agent bloodletting/O’s find ways to win.
2. Red Sox*. Panda and Papi/linebackers, or infielders?/Also, who’s the ace?
3. Rays. Stockpiled pitching/their saving grace, after all/the talent they lost.
4. Blue Jays. Bountiful power/Russ Martin, Canuck backstop/handles weak pitchers.
5. Yankees. Bombers in last? Yes/A-Rod, unloved old juicer/is needled, bows out.
AL CENTRAL
1. Tigers. Atrocious bullpen/still lingers; can their power/make up for weak arms?
2. Royals. Reigning AL Champs/took a small step backwards; speed/and defense? Checkmate!
3. White Sox. Overnight rebuild/made Bridgeport heads spin; "LaRoche"/is French word for "Dunn."
4. Indians. SI cover jinx?/This Tribe will fight, but they are/far from contenders.
5. Twins. Hall of Fame skipper/thoroughly modern Molly/leads unproven bunch.
AL WEST
1. Mariners. Besides Nelson Cruz/this roster has few flaws; the/12th man of baseball?
2. Angels*. Giovatella/pale replacement for Kendrick/otherwise, watch out!
3. Athletics. Those poor pachyderms/sabermetrics can't explain/lack of impact bats.
4. Rangers. Injuries galore/the division has passed them/it's more than Yu need.
5. Astros. Young, fast, and rising/the galaxy's the limit/...if they're drama-free.
NL MVP: Giancarlo Stanton, Marlins
AL MVP: Mike Trout, Angels
NL Cy Young: Clayton Kershaw, Dodgers
AL Cy Young: Jered Weaver, Angels
NL ROY: Noah Syndergaard, Mets
AL ROY: Francisco Lindor, Indians
First Manager Fired: Terry Collins, Mets
2015 World Series: Mariners over Nationals in 6
Play ball!
Thursday, March 19, 2015
Shell Schock
The state of Illinois has a long, dubious history of corruption. It is as bipartisan as it is ingrained in nearly every aspect of gubernatorial politics, from the village halls to the governor's mansion. Unfortunately, the majority of these tales of graft and malfeasance gravitate towards Chicago and northeast part of the state, where I was born and call home. Even if it took place down in Springfield, it somehow trickles back to the Windy City. From that perspective, it makes the recent controversy surrounding Rep. Aaron Schock somewhat unique.
Rep. Schock, as some of you know, is the central Illinois congressman who resigned earlier this week after allegations surfaced of him buying lavish items for himself using campaign money. There was little ignoring that Schock had flamboyant tastes, and during his six-year stint in the U.S. House of Representatives, he turned himself into the Sun King of the Corn Belt. Schock's own father suggested that the congressman ran into issues with "paperwork," fudging driving and flying expenses as the playboy politician flew his staff everywhere from New Dehli to Buenos Aires to Soldier Field.
Besides geography --Schock was born in Minnesota, but calls Peoria home-- what makes this scandal so singular is how blatant Schock was in his misuse of campaign funds. The exchange of money in Washington, almost always quiet and usually under the table, was flaunted by Schock all across social media. He raised money for himself and other Republicans with gusto, then spent the funds with equal aplomb. This goes well beyond federal mileage reimbursements.
Then there's the gay rumors. Illinois may be a blue state overall, and same-sex marriage has been legal here for about two years now, but the 18th District is mostly rural and bright red. Again, it's just rumors, but in central Illinois there's no way anyone LGBTQ could get elected, let alone stay in office. Attracted to men or not, there's little questioning Schock's vanity; posing shirtless for GQ and Men's Health is now looking especially foolish.
Even if the media feeds the heresy, Schock's ultimate legacy was his status as a do-nothing schmoozer. The GOP powers tolerated him as a star fundraiser, yet he never passed a single bill. He was the kid dymano, they assumed, but he spent too much time in the sandbox. His name will forever be associated with dubious expenditures, a specific type of controversy that the Clinton Foundation and New Jersey Gov. Chris Christie know all too well. His political career finished at age 33, one must hope that the next chapter of Rep. Aaron Schock's life is not as much of a decadent landmine as the previous installment.
Family Update: I was going to mention last time around that my mother was back home, but unfortunately that only lasted three days. She was tired of nursing home life, so they agreed to let her continue rehab from home. A few days later, however she was feeling weak and sent back to the ER. It turned out to be a low white blood cell count, and she should be back home (again) sometime before the end of the week.
(474)
Next Week: my 2015 baseball preview.
Rep. Schock, as some of you know, is the central Illinois congressman who resigned earlier this week after allegations surfaced of him buying lavish items for himself using campaign money. There was little ignoring that Schock had flamboyant tastes, and during his six-year stint in the U.S. House of Representatives, he turned himself into the Sun King of the Corn Belt. Schock's own father suggested that the congressman ran into issues with "paperwork," fudging driving and flying expenses as the playboy politician flew his staff everywhere from New Dehli to Buenos Aires to Soldier Field.
Besides geography --Schock was born in Minnesota, but calls Peoria home-- what makes this scandal so singular is how blatant Schock was in his misuse of campaign funds. The exchange of money in Washington, almost always quiet and usually under the table, was flaunted by Schock all across social media. He raised money for himself and other Republicans with gusto, then spent the funds with equal aplomb. This goes well beyond federal mileage reimbursements.
Then there's the gay rumors. Illinois may be a blue state overall, and same-sex marriage has been legal here for about two years now, but the 18th District is mostly rural and bright red. Again, it's just rumors, but in central Illinois there's no way anyone LGBTQ could get elected, let alone stay in office. Attracted to men or not, there's little questioning Schock's vanity; posing shirtless for GQ and Men's Health is now looking especially foolish.
Even if the media feeds the heresy, Schock's ultimate legacy was his status as a do-nothing schmoozer. The GOP powers tolerated him as a star fundraiser, yet he never passed a single bill. He was the kid dymano, they assumed, but he spent too much time in the sandbox. His name will forever be associated with dubious expenditures, a specific type of controversy that the Clinton Foundation and New Jersey Gov. Chris Christie know all too well. His political career finished at age 33, one must hope that the next chapter of Rep. Aaron Schock's life is not as much of a decadent landmine as the previous installment.
Family Update: I was going to mention last time around that my mother was back home, but unfortunately that only lasted three days. She was tired of nursing home life, so they agreed to let her continue rehab from home. A few days later, however she was feeling weak and sent back to the ER. It turned out to be a low white blood cell count, and she should be back home (again) sometime before the end of the week.
(474)
Next Week: my 2015 baseball preview.
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