Writer's Blocked

 What's going on? I mean, besides all the dumb stuff? Plenty:

I'm still having battles with Meta over Stu News; Meta really likes to parse when it comes to promoting. There's an exemption for politics and civics, but it applies to candidates, non-profits, and action groups, and not comedy or satire. I've been able to promote content, but I can't use a sitting politician's name or mention specific political parties. Typing "T***p" or "B***n" dulls the edge, so to speak. This annoying crap has been going on for a few years.

Two weeks ago, however I found this new red flag. FB won't suggest Stu News to friends of friends anymore because of my content. I've been mistaken for a bot (here and IRL) before, I understand that. In nearly 13 years, those "other sensitive subjects" have become Stu News' bread and butter. I'm not interpreting this as censorship so much as AI-fueled gatekeeping. 

If this limits my page's reach long- or short-term, I'm at peace with that. I'll still be posting new jokes and fresh "reports" six days a week. That's where you come in, friend; Stu News has over 2,800 followers largely by word of mouth, and I hope that you continue to read and share the content I post. If you're weening yourself off FB, I'm also on Twitter/X, Threads, and BlueSky; just look up the #StuNews hashtag. I also set up a Patreon to help pay for some of that promotion overhead. What started as an opportunity to potentially land a comedy writing gig morphed into something else entirely, and I hope it's one of the reasons you're still on this flawed site.

Meanwhile, one of my best friends had a baby! Congrats to Dan and his wife on their son, born March 2nd. That also means Flower Shop Bangers is still, still on hiatus. If you're a comedy friend reading this, I'm still seeking out a collaborator; I had a couple projects in the last year that were dead-ends.

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30 Teams, 30 Haiku: My 2026 Baseball Preview

Yes, I know the Giants-Yankees game on Netflix was Wednesday night. For most baseball enthusiasts, the real Opening Day is Thursday, and as always I come prepared with 510 syllables of prognostication. (Asterisks note wild cards)


AL EAST

1. Yankees: Bevy of pitching/prospects; now back home, will we/watch Judge choke again?

2. Blue Jays*: Even without Bo/new winning culture accrues/with the exchange rate.

3. Red Sox: Haphazard roster/oddly built; give Breslow a/Lego set, pronto!

4. Orioles: Too many prospects/rushed up; new bats compensate/for lack of an ace.

5. Rays: Too good for last; rash/of injuries gives deep farm/system a long look.



AL CENTRAL

1. Tigers: Justin's victory/lap hopes to curb another/September collapse.

2. Royals*: Jac, one of a kind/Playoff return in the cards/with Ragans bounce-back.

3. Guardians: Status quo is not/enough; can grit and moxie/hide lack of power?

4. Twins: Fire sale, Buxton/remains; these pesky unknowns/might play spoiler.

5. White Sox: Fun, young energy/party like it's 99/...losses, minimum.



AL WEST

1. Mariners: No sea legs here; tight/young core floats way beyond this/ho-hum division.

2. Astros*: Formidable bats/...on paper; Hunter Brown will/fish for run support.

3. Rangers: Too injury-prone/to predict; Langford, lone star/to play every day.

4. Athletics: Feisty young bats rake/but with soft arms, 85/high-scoring losses.

5. Angels: Yikes! Manoah and/Greyson are their aces? Trout/further goes to waste.



NL EAST

1. Mets: Stearns' shake-up must pay/off late in the year; prospects/won't be Benge-warmers.

2. Phillies*: New Wheeze Kids? Aging/core still has fight; Bryson Stott/due for a breakthrough.

3. Braves*: Dark horse, if healthy/a full year of Acuna/is wishful thinking.

4. Marlins: Infield defense, sole/saving grace; Morel at first/a curious move.

5. Nationals: Youth is served, on and/off the field; middle relief/will get a workout.



NL CENTRAL

1. Cubs: Bregman doesn't miss/the playoffs; deep roster will/ensure streak goes on.

2. Brewers: Low-budget wonders/elite bullpen's ground ball rate/is a saving grace.

3. Reds: Over .500/if young bats support Suarez/and Greene is healthy.

4. Pirates: Konnor at short, long/on potential; can new bats/placate wary Skenes?

5. Cardinals: Whether Wetherholt/produces, Redbird rebuild/is now in full swing.



NL WEST

1. Dodgers: Sets cash ablaze like/a Socal wildfire/shrewd anti-heroes.

2. Padres*: A healthy Merrill/and nasty bullpen enough/to beat LA? Eh...

3. Giants: Vitello, the old/college try; "huge" risks must pay/off at Oracle.

4. D-Backs: Ketel, not traded/another playoff near-miss/looms if pitching wilts.

5. Rockies: Purple punching bag/Goodman anchors bad lineup/and worse rotation.




AL MVP: Cal Raleigh, Mariners

NL MVP: Shohei Ohtani, Dodgers

AL Cy Young: Tarik Skubal, Tigers

NL Cy Young: Paul Skenes, Pirates

AL ROY: Kevin McGonigle, Tigers

NL ROY: Nolan McLean, Mets

First Manager Fired: Mark Kotsay, A's

2026 World Series: Dodgers over Tigers in 5


Thoughts?

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Observing the Chaos

Is anyone running anything anymore? Is this what the Articles of Confederation was like? I can't remember living in a time when the US government was this ineffective and ambivalent about citizens' needs. Anyway, I have varying thoughts:

I doubt I'm the only person getting multiple emails from progressive PACs and Democratic candidates. The Democratic party is far more dependent on grass-roots donations than the comparatively wealthy GOP. If people can afford only basic essentials (if that) then they can't donate to Democrats, and the GOP is largely to blame for maintaining inflation. I'd throw whatever I'd have at the Dems if they had a clear agenda, too.

With that said, Trump is so unpopular right now that Gallup Poll has stopped keeping track. His approval rating is so low, his most ardent supporters can count with their remaining toes. His State of the Union had to be flawless, but instead it was the usual boasting and rambling. And then, like a wannabe Ottoman sultan, he and his penchant for gold decorations went to war with Persia. Nothing to see here.

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Excuse Me While I Wag

A great cartoonist passed away. His name was Richard Thompson, and he drew "Cul de Sac" from 2007 to 2012 until Parkinson's disease ravaged him and he died in 2016.

All joking aside, "Dilbert" creator Scott Adams passed last month. I was a fan of the strip growing up, though it became apparent as time went on that Adams was a difficult, unpleasant man. Circa 1996-97 I had the comic strip collections, a subscription to his quarterly newsletter, even the Dilbert and Dogbert dolls. Entering puberty, I latched on to Adams' --and technically Dogbert's-- cynicism and heavy sarcasm. (The animated series that ran on UPN in 1999-00 is a lost gem, but I'd attribute most of that to Larry Charles.) If nothing else, I am grateful that Adams and his creation gave me an early warning about the drudgery and absurdity of corporate America. Dilbert the milquetoast engineer, however was an avatar for logic in an increasingly illogical world.

Alas, like so many things in pop culture in recent years, there's the matter of separating the art from the artist. I am acquainted with people that met and knew Scott Adams; only "Pearls Before Swine" creator Stephan Pastis had anything kind to say upon his death. Interviews and second-hand interactions suggested a difficult and unpleasant man, this 2015 blog entry suggested that he was steadily going off the deep end, lost his sense of irony, or both. Then Adams started questioning the scope of the Holocaust, made highly misogynist remarks, and most pivotally, a COVID/vaccine skeptic, and finally a casual racist. After his syndicate dropped him post-haste, "Dilbert" moved online (behind a paywall) and Adams hosted a livestream until he randomly decided you can treat terminal cancer with horse dewormer.

Scott Adams was probably the last newspaper cartoonist to ever become a household name. Today's funnies are dominated by decades-old "heritage" strips where the creator is long dead, with little room for young or new talent. Part of that is because of the economics of modern media, but that's another blog for another time. For a few years in the 90s, Adams was a breath of fresh air. He also had a particularly strange, self-inflicted fall from grace.  

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Ten Years On

January 18th marks ten years since my father died. It was the unfortunate culmination of a nearly three-year battle with brain tumors and lymphoma, and I've spent most of the weekend trying to compose my thoughts on this unfortunate milestone. 

Ken had undiagnosed autism, I'm almost certain. He was a man of many quirks: he almost always wore black slacks; he had an obsession with the stock market and read the business section of the newspaper first; he had very few friends, and most of them lived out of state; he thought Tic-Tacs functioned like aspirin and vitamins and consumed them in large quantities. He was 46 when I was born; there were all apparently habitudes from before I was born. When he learned how to use a PC late in life, my sister and I realized his Yahoo search history was mostly three things: NASDAQ quotes, baseball scores, and Filipina porn.

Peccadillos aside, his second-greatest obsession was sports. Between him and my roommate passing 18 months ago, I miss having someone around the house that I can talk baseball and football with. That weighed heavily on me as I watched the Bears-Rams game last night. Both men would've been entertained, even if the outcome wasn't what we wanted.

On the flip side, Ken's passing meant avoiding nearly a decade of political arguments. My father was a third-generation center-right Republican, and one of his last lucid political thoughts was that was "leaning toward John Kasich" in the 2016 primaries. I have little doubt he would've come around to Donald Trump's "clown show" (his words) but not necessarily get dragged into the conservative misinformation outlets of the internet. I remember how annoyed he was that I had skepticism about the war in Iraq in early 2003, insinuating that I was brainwashed or imprudent in my own right. Beyond that, I was cautious about expressing my two cents about world affairs face to face.

For my original eulogy post, click here.

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